Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

trixxy · 10-22-2007, 09:14 PM

I find myself getting more and more depressed recently. I don't know if it's because I've been stuck inside for a week (my son is sick) or if I've just been thinking about my life more. I keep wanting to cry all day. I don't feel happy. I feel completly lost. It feels like I am just empty. I am nothing. I have no friends, no life, no purpose. How do I stop this? I don't want to live like this anymore.

NotesMaeve · 10-22-2007, 09:29 PM

You have your son. Raising him and giving him every chance you can is one hell of a purpose. I think the seasonal crap, as well as being a caretaker, can wear on a person. There's so much joy to be had in life! I am sure there's so much you haven't experienced and so many people you haven't met, and it all starts with walking out your front door. I am sure you'll get some great advice, and you'll be amazed at the folks who come into your life if you just change your attitude. People are here to help, girl.

Livgivare · 10-22-2007, 09:47 PM

Are you living in a place where nights grow longer and longer? In the Scandinavian countries all people gets a bit moody and sad in the winter it seems. So many people are tried and eating loads off chocolate and getting out more and more...

I really do hope your son will become healthy again! It must be like hell to see your kid being sick and knowing that you want to do everything and don't know so much. Can you take him to a better hospital? Sometimes a doctor that can give a second oppinion is the answer!!

Love Leelene

trixxy · 10-23-2007, 04:42 AM

No, the nights where I live arn't really getting any longer. It might be getting darker a little bit earlier, but nothing major.

As for my son he isn't terribly ill. He just has a bad cold or the flu, but for a 2 year old who can't communicate fully and is used to running around all day it's pretty tough for him.

180 · 10-23-2007, 06:57 AM

It seems like the major underlying reason is your destiny.

You probably feel lost without meaning in your life.

You are probably asking yourself questions like:
"What am I doing everyday?"
"What are my goals"
"Have I been wasting my life"

Well I don't know your situation well enough to completely understand, But there is probably more to what you are saying. Is it your job? Is it your family? Is it your past? What really bothers you? Do you feel you are not living up to the expectation of society? is that it?

trixxy · 10-24-2007, 04:43 AM

At the moment I don't have a job. I'm a single stay at home mom living with my parents. Right now my parents arn't making me get a job because they know how important it means to me to be with my son. In my own opinion I belive if it is possible a parent should take the responsibility to raise their own child. I don't want to have to put him in daycare and have a total stranger raise him. Time goes by way to fast. Soon he will be in school and he'll want to hang out with his friends not Mommy.

I do feel like my past was a complete waste. I was too shy and quiet. I was too afraid to experience anything. That's why now I don't have any talents. I was too afraid to try anything. I dropped out of school when I was 15. Moved in with my boyfriend when I was 16 and wasted the next 7 years of my life with him. He was controlling and abusive, but I do thank him for my wonderful son.

I wish I could change the past, but I know that is impossible. I do not like myself. I want to improve myself, but I find it hard considering the time I have to myself is either when my son takes a nap or after he goes to bed. Usually by that time I'm ready for bed to.

I want to be somebody. I want to have a purpose. I know part of my purpose is to be a Mom, but there has to be more. I just don't know what.

mansell · 10-25-2007, 03:48 PM

all i can say is that you have your son, no matter whats going to happen or what is happening your purpose is to be there for him and your life is in him.

Tayrak · 10-25-2007, 05:21 PM

You know Trixxy there are a lot of things you can do from home if you want to stay home with your son. You could take an online course, start a website or blog, write a book. I have no idea what you do with your day, (lol, your son is two let me guess), anyway are you getting outside to the park with him? You get some exercise and fresh air, which will do the two of you a world of good, also you'll meet up with grownups! The library can be a good spot too, they have toddler days where we live. The movies in our town have kiddie afternoons for parents with kids, so they can all go nuts and not disturb the more serious stuck up crowd that actually want to hear the movie

. There are probably a bunch more but I can't think of them off hand. Just get out a bit and meet people, taking your son with you will do him good too. And while the past is part of you it doesn't have to form your future. All the best.

180 · 10-25-2007, 08:43 PM

I think I know how you feel.

Esentially you've stated that you feel your past is a waste, and you want a good future. You DO want to care for your son, but at that same time that leaves you a lot ot be desired in the career field.

You're also worried because you haven't developed any skills yet and you hate who you are.

Well it definately is a unique situation, especiallly because of that element that you said you were shy. Introverts tend to have the hardest time taking action because they feel they have to do what others tell them to make them happy.

Sounds like this makes you very unhappy in terms of where your life is going, with no direction or sense of it. And because your parents have choosen a path for you.. yet you have ambitions.

In a way, the fact that you are depressed IS a good thing. Some people don't have aspirations and live day by day not yearning for more. You have some part of you that is calling wanting more.

Maybe that is part of your destiny right there. Maybe the fact that you feel this is someone, or something telling you that you are destined for something more. Maybe I this sounds crazy...

But if you feel that you SHOULD have a destiny then you do.

What it is, well that might be hard for you to decide.

What to you consitutes as destiny? Maybe a good cause? or good Career?
What do you think it is?

10-22-2007, 09:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
trixxy Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 22	What is wrong with me? I find myself getting more and more depressed recently. I don't know if it's because I've been stuck inside for a week (my son is sick) or if I've just been thinking about my life more. I keep wanting to cry all day. I don't feel happy. I feel completly lost. It feels like I am just empty. I am nothing. I have no friends, no life, no purpose. How do I stop this? I don't want to live like this anymore.

10-25-2007, 03:48 PM	#7 (permalink)
mansell Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: england blackpool Posts: 24	wellllll all i can say is that you have your son, no matter whats going to happen or what is happening your purpose is to be there for him and your life is in him.

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10-22-2007, 09:29 PM	#2 (permalink)
NotesMaeve Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 937	You have your son. Raising him and giving him every chance you can is one hell of a purpose. I think the seasonal crap, as well as being a caretaker, can wear on a person. There's so much joy to be had in life! I am sure there's so much you haven't experienced and so many people you haven't met, and it all starts with walking out your front door. I am sure you'll get some great advice, and you'll be amazed at the folks who come into your life if you just change your attitude. People are here to help, girl.

10-22-2007, 09:47 PM	#3 (permalink)
Livgivare Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Sundsvall Sweden Europe Posts: 208	Are you living in a place where nights grow longer and longer? In the Scandinavian countries all people gets a bit moody and sad in the winter it seems. So many people are tried and eating loads off chocolate and getting out more and more... I really do hope your son will become healthy again! It must be like hell to see your kid being sick and knowing that you want to do everything and don't know so much. Can you take him to a better hospital? Sometimes a doctor that can give a second oppinion is the answer!! Love Leelene

10-23-2007, 04:42 AM	#4 (permalink)
trixxy Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 22	No, the nights where I live arn't really getting any longer. It might be getting darker a little bit earlier, but nothing major. As for my son he isn't terribly ill. He just has a bad cold or the flu, but for a 2 year old who can't communicate fully and is used to running around all day it's pretty tough for him.

10-23-2007, 06:57 AM	#5 (permalink)
180 Family Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 1,356	It seems like the major underlying reason is your destiny. You probably feel lost without meaning in your life. You are probably asking yourself questions like: "What am I doing everyday?" "What are my goals" "Have I been wasting my life" Well I don't know your situation well enough to completely understand, But there is probably more to what you are saying. Is it your job? Is it your family? Is it your past? What really bothers you? Do you feel you are not living up to the expectation of society? is that it?

10-24-2007, 04:43 AM	#6 (permalink)
trixxy Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 22	At the moment I don't have a job. I'm a single stay at home mom living with my parents. Right now my parents arn't making me get a job because they know how important it means to me to be with my son. In my own opinion I belive if it is possible a parent should take the responsibility to raise their own child. I don't want to have to put him in daycare and have a total stranger raise him. Time goes by way to fast. Soon he will be in school and he'll want to hang out with his friends not Mommy. I do feel like my past was a complete waste. I was too shy and quiet. I was too afraid to experience anything. That's why now I don't have any talents. I was too afraid to try anything. I dropped out of school when I was 15. Moved in with my boyfriend when I was 16 and wasted the next 7 years of my life with him. He was controlling and abusive, but I do thank him for my wonderful son. I wish I could change the past, but I know that is impossible. I do not like myself. I want to improve myself, but I find it hard considering the time I have to myself is either when my son takes a nap or after he goes to bed. Usually by that time I'm ready for bed to. I want to be somebody. I want to have a purpose. I know part of my purpose is to be a Mom, but there has to be more. I just don't know what.

10-25-2007, 05:21 PM	#8 (permalink)
Tayrak Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 164	You know Trixxy there are a lot of things you can do from home if you want to stay home with your son. You could take an online course, start a website or blog, write a book. I have no idea what you do with your day, (lol, your son is two let me guess), anyway are you getting outside to the park with him? You get some exercise and fresh air, which will do the two of you a world of good, also you'll meet up with grownups! The library can be a good spot too, they have toddler days where we live. The movies in our town have kiddie afternoons for parents with kids, so they can all go nuts and not disturb the more serious stuck up crowd that actually want to hear the movie . There are probably a bunch more but I can't think of them off hand. Just get out a bit and meet people, taking your son with you will do him good too. And while the past is part of you it doesn't have to form your future. All the best.

10-25-2007, 08:43 PM	#9 (permalink)
180 Family Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 1,356	I think I know how you feel. Esentially you've stated that you feel your past is a waste, and you want a good future. You DO want to care for your son, but at that same time that leaves you a lot ot be desired in the career field. You're also worried because you haven't developed any skills yet and you hate who you are. Well it definately is a unique situation, especiallly because of that element that you said you were shy. Introverts tend to have the hardest time taking action because they feel they have to do what others tell them to make them happy. Sounds like this makes you very unhappy in terms of where your life is going, with no direction or sense of it. And because your parents have choosen a path for you.. yet you have ambitions. In a way, the fact that you are depressed IS a good thing. Some people don't have aspirations and live day by day not yearning for more. You have some part of you that is calling wanting more. Maybe that is part of your destiny right there. Maybe the fact that you feel this is someone, or something telling you that you are destined for something more. Maybe I this sounds crazy... But if you feel that you SHOULD have a destiny then you do. What it is, well that might be hard for you to decide. What to you consitutes as destiny? Maybe a good cause? or good Career? What do you think it is?

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums