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10-21-2007, 07:18 AM
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 I used pot to show myself a world of confidence Hi all, I'm in my last year of high school right now. I've been working diligently on self improvement, especially in the realm of self-confidence ever since the 7th grade. I'll tell you I have come a very long way and I am very happy. Put it this way, I'm the only one in the school it seems who was actually looking forward to our public speaking classes. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being social anxiety, 5 being average, 10 being celebrity type confidence, I'm about a 8. Really it's not that I can't talk a lot, I just don't iniate much. Anyway, I've never been a social person, over the summer, I very succesfully used hypnosis to help me with this problem and yesterday I decided to go to my first school football game ever. I've never used any sort of mind altering substance but with few close friends. I decided to use marijuana for the game because a)in case it was terrible like my antisocial self worried, I could hide behind it... and b)wanted to see what the social benefits were. Well let me tell you it was great. I had 10 level confidence. I could say what I thought, I was more charismatic, I felt a better connection with people as often I am unintentionally cold. This is what I've been striving for all my life. My confidence I have now is great, I'm very happy, but it seems like a front (a strong one though), where as last night, under the influence, it seemed real, because I actually YEARNED to socialize and connect with people. I do not use marijuana often and I don't wish to start, but the experience was so amazing, really opened my eyes to where I could be. I want to be that confident again! Forever! How can I reach this point, this point beyond points. Like I said before, I CAN talk to people just fine, no matter how large the crowd is, but I just don't connect with them. I don't let the me shine through.      |
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10-22-2007, 02:02 AM
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| Stop and think about this. You're a high school student interested in personal development. Most people at your age are interested in "being cool" or "being a jock" or "being popular." Simple things like this are on their minds. Think about how much you have to offer to people you meet. You're an exceptional person. You're exceptional because you are taking the time to invest in yourself. I think what you are doing is not giving yourself enough credit for who you are, and not realizing what you could potentially bring to each person you meet. I've felt the way you feel before. But then I shifted my perspective to one of understanding I have something dynamic and extraordinary to offer to each person I meet. Try that mindset out for a while, I'm sure you will find it much more empowering. Rahul
__________________ www.take-20.com Personal Development Advice, Tools to Improve the Quality of your Life |
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10-22-2007, 03:37 AM
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| Not a good idea to take the pothead route towards self-confidence. Just keep with the hypnosis. Get the belief Paraliminal; it can be applied towards anything. |
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10-22-2007, 05:52 AM
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10-22-2007, 12:46 PM
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| Difficult. Very difficult. Honestly I don't see any moral reason against using grass or any drug to feel more confident, yet deep down I don't believe in it being the way to true happiness either. If someone has trouble walking, you'd hand him an aid, if the walking issue couldn't be helped otherwise. So if there wasn't any other way to happiness but through the use of drugs, then I'd say go for it. Like I said I have no moral issues about this sort of thing. On the contrary hearing what you say about the use of dope has me yearn to try it out myself. Who wouldn't think it heavenly to be thus carefree, to feel thus safe and connected with others? One smoke and there you have the shortcut to heaven. It is tempting. So now I'm left trying to explain to myself why it's not the way to happiness apart from physical side effects, cause those don't count to me either. Life itself always has negative physical side effects, they might as well be for the sake of happiness. and then you've got to take medication for whatever issues, why not dope for overcoming isolation? You take pills for travelling sickness as well, why not take grass to get to other people? But I guess the main hang-up of using drugs to get through life easier really is that it's a convenient shortcut solution that requires no personal effort, no labour for the love of life. You don't try to live like a child growing, you don't fall, cry and get up again, you don't take the trouble trying time and again and give yourself the chance to grow and make it on your own two legs. And I do believe that connecting to others, being yourself and feeling good about yourself is something usually anyone can acchieve without the use of mind-altering drugs, and if that's so, magic shoes to get you there by clicking them robs you of the path you need to go to grow, to evolve as a person. Drugs if not used in only the most dire circumstances keep you small, prevent you from reaching the spiritual development you could acquire and the happiness that comes with real growth. So with any other option left I guess I'd vote for not using grass to feel good about yourself and a means to open up, but for simply doing it step by step all the way.  |
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10-22-2007, 02:04 PM
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| I wonder how the people you were talking and socializing with felt about their encounters with you. I know that sometimes when people are drinking they think that they are being clever and witty and the life of the party when in reality they are being dull, repetitive and hard to understand. I don't personally think that smoking pot, in a non-extreme way, is any worse than drinking alcohol or eating sugar or any of the other less than useful things that we tend to do to comfort ourselves. But I also think that there are much better and healthier ways to acheive the same outcome. Good luck! |
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10-22-2007, 02:26 PM
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You think "What do I have to offer, and how can I change this person's life with what I have to offer" instead of, "I'm more developed than this person, what can they offer me?" I know what you mean when you say you come across many people who you don't feel are at your level of thinking. I think many people on this forum have the same problem. That's a side effect of being into personal development. You WILL be more advanced than most people you come across. But the knowledge of yourself that you do have can be used to improve everyone's life, and that's how you should approach. Hope this helps!
__________________ www.take-20.com Personal Development Advice, Tools to Improve the Quality of your Life |
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10-22-2007, 04:45 PM
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| from experience I will tell you 90% of the stuff the school and those public service announcements are BS...if you are going to smoke then pot is 100x better than cigarettes. DO NOT EVER SMOKE CIGARETTES...I have been addicted to several substances and let me tell you cigarettes are as hard/if not harder to quit as anything. They will degrade you bit by bit. Try anything you want but stay away from cigs! Pot isn't going to make you go crazy and kill all your friends or support terrorism. It doesn't cause acne....but the junk food you stash up on might contribute over time. Like any substance it can be and is often abused. Stay at your house or a friends house...you won't get yourself hurt that way (don't go driving...ds thing to do) It can slowly make you a bit...unmotivated....watch that, you may find yourself playing videogames for 30+hrs and putting on a little bit of weight. Smoking anything (pinecones or logs on the fire) damages your lung tissue. It is your choice and if you are going to make this a habit consider buying or making your own vaporizer....lessens the lung damage. Have fun, be safe, and stay away from cigs |
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10-23-2007, 12:49 AM
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Now how I have always solved personal problems is by first identifying the issue then taking steps to eliminate it methodically. This is why this problem bothers me so much. I can't think of for the life of me what is inhibiting me. I only know it's negative, and I want it gone. I truly, until very recently, thought I was "done" working on my confidence. I thought that because I had taken a rational step back and looked at myself and saw every issue I could identify and one by one taken it out. With Element X that is differentiating HighMe and SoberMe, I just don't know what it is. rbhambha, I don't believe that is my problem here. I think I have very high self esteem and don't see myself as not worthy. In fact come to think of it a large amount of what I do not say, but think, I keep to myself for fear of offending someone or making someone uncomfortable or nervous. Though those things I keep to myself really, thought about level-headed, are nothing to bat an eye at and I shouldn't be afraid to say them. Tigerlilly, I do not want to rely on it, and that is why I, like you suggested, want to use it purely as a stepping stone to real happiness. I am just having a hard time knowing how to approach this one. |
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10-25-2007, 06:16 AM
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11-03-2007, 12:27 AM
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| Go to a place with a lot of people and practice initiating conversations. Try talking somewhat loudly. It doesn't matter what you say, just keep volume and energy up. No really, it doesn't matter what you say, how you look. The fun social style is to just be excited to meet someone new and vibe with them. What happens many times is you start analyzing yourself even if a little bit and therefore you are anxious. We all have partially negative perceptions of people. So they of course have partially negative perceptions of us as well. So what? Of course just recognizing this does nothing for your confidence. Only practicing will increase your confidence. As far as weed goes. From my research, just make sure your supply is clean of hard drugs and it will probably be safer than alcohol/most tobacco. Also, don't do too much or else you just become unmotivated. Once a week maximum. |
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11-03-2007, 12:49 AM
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| Absolutely nothing wrong with using an herb that has been on this earth for longer than mankind Psychoactives such as marijuana can be great, they have the potential to alter the lens of your perception and give you the temporary gift of perspectives that you could have never seen before with the ego and thought patterns blocking the view; they are beneficial when used as a learning experience, and can be of great help spiritually and psychologically to get past barriers. These kind of experiences have definitely altered the course of my life in a positive direction. Here is a suggestion to answer your question, realize that whatever the potential for confidence you unlocked when you smoked with your friends is always there. Integrate that experience into your whole being, for it will make you grow. Realize that nothing ever shifted but your point of view =) |
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11-03-2007, 01:03 AM
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I have a volcano vaporizer, and it is one of the most amazing inventions ever. I took a serious investment in my lungs, since I use cannabis medically daily and have a medical prescription for it. If you are going to smoke often, you should really think about getting one for your lungs. VOLCANO Vaporiser Safety 1st! Most of the things people tell you about cannabis are myths, or uneducated for the most part. It will not turn you into a zombie, a couch potato who gets fat from junk foods, or a baby rapist - unless that was already your destination and thats where you go with it. To be fair - approach your experiences with a blank state of mind, try to dissolve everything, every preconceived notion you have been told by others, and make a judgment based on your own personal experience. If you listen to your true self, through the veil of illusion, distortions society and culture implanted in us, and thought that tends to blind us from it...it knows whether what you are doing is best for you or not. This is also the source which has the answer to the question of where your self confidence is because you won't find that in any book, any audio program, or in any nug of ganja. |
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11-03-2007, 04:12 AM
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| i was in the same place in high school as well. the wonderfull effects of pot wore off after a short while and my anxiety shot up, i got depressed, my paranoia increased, and eventually i moved on to other drugs. everyone reacts differently, this is just my story. i'm now 26, a social alcoholic and often wonder what my life would be like if i had steered clear of it all to begin with. |
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11-03-2007, 09:20 PM
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| ^ it sounds like you just have an addictive personality.  Quote:
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11-04-2007, 01:38 AM
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| Pot is not a good way to better yourself. I know many people that have smoked pot. Virtually ALL of them claim it isn't addictive, yet they cannot go for a week without it! POT IS JUST MASKING YOUR ORIGINAL PROBLEM! It's a waste of time, money, and isn't good for your well-being in the long term. Instead, I suggest that you start taking Fish Oil (@ least 3 grams daily if possible) and doing some neurofeedback or brainwave entrainment @ Alpha 10 Hz (read up on this to see if you are a candidate @ transparentcorp.com) It won't have the exact effect as pot, but pot and alcohol increase the brain's amount of ALPHA brainwaves, which these can do as well. I also recommend meditation. All of the things that I recommended have been successful strategies for myself, friends of mine, and others that I know. |
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11-04-2007, 04:37 PM
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| Although maybe it's a good thing you gave yourself a boost with pot and saw for yourself a new possibility in the realm of being connected and warm, I don't think it's a good idea to use any substance in order to create a way of being. It's a good way to fool yourself into thinking you need the substance in order to generate being connected and warm. It sounds like you're already fooling yourself in one way: Quote:
If I were you, I would use the experience you had as a signal of what's possible for you to generate completely your own, without relying on the pot. You can create being warm and connected without being stoned. |
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11-04-2007, 06:30 PM
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| Unlike others on this forum, I do not lump marijuana and psychedelics in the same category as alcohol or other drugs. I've had many positive personality and consciousness changing experiences while meditating under the influence of marijuana. It does work for those who go in with that intention, and can offer enhanced creativity, clarity, and even a bridge to the godhead and psychic potential. However, treat it as a recreational substance, a distraction, and that is what it will be for you. Do not think that just because you limit marijuana to the same status as alcohol, you make it so. You only make it so for yourselves. |
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11-04-2007, 07:50 PM
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| There are a few different issues that have been raised in this thread: regular use of marijuana/addiction, whether one is actually coherent when stoned, the danger of relying on crutches, and whether it's useful for personal development. Marijuana use is extremely common where I live; a majority of my classmates in University used it at least occasionally, and I know quite a few successful phd students who use it. I don't know anyone I'd consider it a serious problem or addiction for. Some people choose to smoke it most days; some use it very sporadically. Most are in-between. It's possible to be entirely coherent when stoned, especially when lightly stoned; I know people who successfully hold intellectual conversations, write computer programs, and do art in this state. When heavily stoned, people can't do much beyond take a nap; I don't know anyone who is coherent in this state, and people try to avoid it. It is nothing like using alcohol, where drunks think they're witty but are not. Relying on any crutch can cripple you. This could include marijuana. For many people in social situations, alcohol is apparently a crutch; I don't know anyone who finds the same for marijuana, but I suppose it's possible. I think that this threat can be avoided through carefully and honestly looking at use, and making sure to _not_ use any substances a significant majority of the time. I'm of the belief that the use of marijuana can be beneficial to personal development. It can change perspectives and show a new state of being to those who use it (this doesn't always happen - plenty of people try marijuana, find it boring, and never use it again - but it does happen to some, including, by your description, yourself). If I were you, what I would do is file away the information that the state you experience is possible. You may or may not be able to integrate your stoned experiences into your everyday life and persona; I know some people who have, and who can essentially experience the social positives of marijuana while entirely sober. There are a few other issues to consider. One is legality: the person I know who integrates the positives of marijuana best into his everyday life when not using it is Dutch and lives in Amsterdam, so he has no worries in this regard. In other parts of the world, possession of small quantities can get you jail time, or worse. Know your local environment. Another issue is the use of other drugs. While the idea of marijuana being a gateway drug has been debunked, some people do choose to try other drugs. The term 'drugs' links together substances which vary drastically in their effects and risks. I'd council against taking any other drug without researching it in depth first; erowid is a good source of information. A third issue is the health risks of smoking. Smoking anything is carcinogenic and damages your lung tissue. Alternatives include vaporizers (not recommended in areas where you can get in legal trouble for paraphernalia) and cooking with marijuana (better healthwise, but it leads to a different, and somewhat less light/social high, due to chemical reactions due to heating). There is nothing wrong with choosing to not use marijuana, and there are some benefits to not using it. If you do choose to use it, use it occasionally and with due care. |
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11-05-2007, 10:53 PM
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