Tyler Durdan's Journey To Happiness

[TylerDurdan]

Hi everyone, I’m brand new to this forum and thought I would start it off with a bang! I’m sorry this is so long, I promise this will be my longest EVER! Basically I am a firm believer in the Law of Attraction or Universal Law, but never really practiced it until my life was in shambles. I guess looking back at all the things that happened, its hard NOT to believe in it. I’m not saying my life is great far from it, I’m still depressed a lot of the time 85% and stress is my number 1 emotion, and I don’t feel like myself most of the time. Up until this point in my life I had never been depressed, I’m 25 now. I’m willing to put this on the line for whomever is interested in following/participating it with me.

This is what I’m proposing, I want to turn my life back around to where it was a little over a year ago, and I’m going to focus on Law of Attraction (LOA) to help me with that. I’m going to post often on here, with what I’m doing, how its working ect… I hope by doing this other will follow and give me support and guidance on what I should be doing differently and this will also be a motivation for me to keep up with it.

Here is a brief summary of what happened to get me here. About year ago I had the perfect life, literally. I had a great job (still have the same job, just don’t love it anymore), great friends (I have lost contacted with a vast majority of them due to my depression) and the best girl in the world who would have done anything for me (you can guess where she is now). So what do I want? I want to be happy everyday that I wake and everyday when I go to bed. When I get out of bed I want to know that I’m the luckiest person to have this type of life. I want to stop thinking about how things used to be and start to think about how things are and will be.

Here is where things got interesting… While on a family vacation at the height of my happiness, I left my girlfriend at home, she had to work (we had moved in together and I had an engagement ring waiting for her when I got back) she decided that she wasn’t happy any longer and moved out because she needed space without saying anything to me. I returned home to all of her things gone, but with her saying that she still wants to be together blah, blah, blah. That was the first thing, second I got passed up for a great promotion at my job, to a total dbag, and right now I’m basically doing his work and mine for the same money. I lost a lot of my friends because I’m the type of person who really closes people out and pushes them away. So during this sh*tfest I discovered LOA. I was fascinated with it, and after 4 months of not being able to get through a day without losing it and little sleep (unless benadryl comes into hand!), I decided to really study it. I was amazed at what I realized. During my great happiness I would think about what happens if she isn’t happy any longer and leaves? What happens if I don’t like my job anymore? What would happen if I lost my friends again (when I was in high school I had 2 best friends that died and it really took a toll on me). The entire time, while on the outside I appeared happy, I was so stressed about ‘what ifs’ that I focused to much on them all of them came true! I’m sure there were things that I did to be the catalyst for these, but you still have to acknowledge the law.

I immediately changed my thoughts after studying a couple books about it, I paid attention to my feelings ect… By this time I hadn’t talked to my ex-girlfriend for about 2 months. I decided to get out a notebook and write something that started out at ‘Today I’m so happy with her because…’ and I listed strong feelings about things that I wanted in someone (subconsciously I was still thinking about qualities I loved about her, but was open to someone new). I am not lying, the very next morning I had an email from her suggesting we get dinner soon! After 2 months! I could not believe it and started full force with LOA. I thought about everything that I wanted in someone more and more, and our relationship flourished again. I started to apply it to other aspects of my life. My trading exploded and I bought a big loft and a 90k car in the same 2 month period! I again was back to happiness.

However I started to my old ways, thinking about how could it be so good so quickly? This can’t be normal. I started to doubt. Sure enough, my relationship again went to the toilet. One weekend I was so depressed/stressed about my returned happiness all I thought about was what if she started to not treat me right (even though she wasn’t even in town) and the next week she completely blew me off for my birthday, no card or phone calls. I had to finally remind her that it was my birthday! So I ended it and my trading started to suffer ect… I know that LOA cannot change other people and their actions, but still come on! That was about 2 months ago, and haven’t heard from her since, and I’m at my lowest level since, and everything is suffering because of it and my poor outlook on life.

So last weekend while I was getting something out of my closet one of my books fell right in from of me and I took that as a sign. I had a birthday party that night for a friend so I immediately meditated on my happiness and the fact that I wanted an emotional connection to a stranger tonight. What happened that night? I met some wonderful people and had a great time. I’m back in LOA, get ready universe.

Now to the main point (sorry for such the long post, but wanted everyone on board from the beginning so I don’t have to go back and explain things often)… I’m going to illustrate what I’m doing, what’s working ect… I’m going to use affirmations, vision boards, meditation on a daily basis and report my results. I hope that others will guide me and also let me know your progress along the way. Today is someday…

[Angela]

Originally Posted by TylerDurdan

This is what I’m proposing, I want to turn my life back around to where it was a little over a year ago, and I’m going to focus on Law of Attraction (LOA) to help me with that.

TylerDurdan, I'd like to suggest to you that you are focusing on the past, which no longer exists. If you try to recreate the past, you will surely be frustrated and disappointed. And anyway, whatever you were being in the past led you straight into the ensuing pain and doubt -- so why not invent a new way of being for your life, something that works better, something that generates ever-increasing satisfaction and fulfillment?

In other words, how about letting go of your desire for the past, and seeing this as a fresh start and intending the creation of a life you love now?

[TylerDurdan]

Hi Angela,

I appreciate your response, maybe I'm in the wrong forum. I'm not saying I want my life back to exactly where it was a year ago, I just want overall happiness that I had a year ago. I'm also showing how LOA does have an effect on my life, so I want to use it to my advantage to help turn my life back around. I"m willing to new experiences and people if that brings me happiness. I will update later on with my affirmations and my meditation thoughts for today.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by TylerDurdan

I just want overall happiness that I had a year ago.

You're in the right forum alright. What I'm saying is, if you concentrate on the overall happiness you had a year ago, you are yearning for the past -- you are yearning for something that is an illusion. It's very Gatsby-esque -- doomed and tragic. You can't have the happiness (or anything else) you had a year ago, but you can generate a brand new happiness in this moment, and those going forward. If you are hanging on to your yearning for past happiness, the Law of Attraction deems that you'll continue to attract yearning, and therefore dissatisfaction. That's why I recommend letting go of that, and focusing on your power to generate new happiness, Right Now.

Do you see what I mean?

[TylerDurdan]

I understand what you are saying, I guess when I say, 'As happy as I was a year ago' I'm just using that as a reference for myself since its been a long time since I have been happy.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by TylerDurdan

I understand what you are saying, I guess when I say, 'As happy as I was a year ago' I'm just using that as a reference for myself since its been a long time since I have been happy.

That's great! Remember, the Law of Attraction brings you more of what you're focusing on. So, rather than thinking thoughts like "it's been a long time since I have been happy", "still have the same job, just don’t love it anymore", and "I have lost contacted with a vast majority of (my friends) due to my depression", you will achieve better results if you let go of what you've had, and think thoughts that attract what you want.

You have a great plan for living a life you love right now. I know you are just explaining where you have been and the trials you've been through so we (and you) can understand. I just want to invite you to let go of thinking thoughts about what you don't want, so you're free to think thoughts that feel good when you think them.

I'm not trying to give you a hard time, honest!