Negativity

[TeeZee]

I have lead a very interesting, though unfocused life. I finally decided on a career path and moved to a bigger city to strike it rich! It took me a long time to get a job, then I lost the one that I did get a few months ago. When I had the job I felt pretty good. Now my mind is flooded with negativity. Whenever I look at a job posting, my mind keeps telling me reasons why I won't get it. The self-hating voice is a real drag. I am a competent, and bright person, but for some reason I can't get a career going. I hammer away at myself for not "being" someone more successful, and constantly compare myself to anyone around me who is doing better.

I have been to plenty of therapists and I guess the only answer is self-acceptance and working harder to get what I want. The conditioning of my mind seems to be in there for good.

Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

Thanks,
Trevor

[Zukin]

I like the books What to Say When You Talk to Your Self and Learned Optimism

Steve's post How to Stop Complaining is also good:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...p-complaining/

And you can take the tips from the post How to Help Negative People and apply them to yourself:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...gative-people/

It sounds like negative self-talk is holding you back. Here's a couple of things to try:
1. When you look at a job posting, tell yourself the reasons you will get it. It may sound deluded, but this approach is more psychologically healthy than negativity.
2. Instead of comparing yourself to people who are doing better, compare yourself to people who are doing worse. This is also psychologically proven to reduce feelings of distress.

[cdn2wheeler]

Oh, MAN, does this ever sound familiar. A very dear friend of mine when through exactly - and I mean EXACTLY - the same thing. He was out of work for 18 months at one point, had nearly 60 interviews in that time. The words he heard most often were, "You're overqualified." As well, he knows for a fact (so he says) that he was turned down for positions because he happens to be a middle-aged white male in an era of "employment equity."

Eventually he got 2 job offers, both short-term contract positions. Neither of those positions developed into a permanent gig, one because the company declared bankruptcy and the other because of a massive layoff sweep manufactured by the company to satisfy a short-term blip in stock price.

He continues to struggle, though he's finally scored a full-time gig.

Point is that this sort of thing happens all the time. By no means are you alone in your situation, it's extremely common.

There is, alas, no magic bullet that I'm aware of other than the usual exortations to keep focused on your goal, you'll attract what you think of, etc. etc. And keep moving forward. Stay focused and keep taking action.

I know it's hard and that the shadows of negativity are hard to illuminate. But you will get through this.

[ellie]

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

Eventually he got 2 job offers, both short-term contract positions. Neither of those positions developed into a permanent gig, one because the company declared bankruptcy and the other because of a massive layoff sweep manufactured by the company to satisfy a short-term blip in stock price.

God sounds like me too! Two contracts both haven't lead to full-time jobs.
I'm a bit worried that my job life is going to be a bit like this as well - granted I only finished my degree two years ago...still...makes me wonder. However, my dad fluffed around with his career and I'm worried I will end up like him - lost! The thing is, I learnt one thing from my dads mistake, was that he too was trying to do jobs that didn't suit him, so he could be more financially secure - didn't work.

The only thing I can think of for me, is that I've been trying to work in an industry that really isn't suited to me. I too, wanted the career and money, financial stability, recognition for my efforts. However, the more I think about it, the area I work in just isn't suited to me and so "the universe" is telling me "hey reality check, do what your meant to do, stop trying to be something that your not". Realistically look at what suits your personality!

I think if your doing something that your meant to do, you more likely to keep the job!

[cdn2wheeler]

Originally Posted by ellie

The thing is, I learnt one thing from my dads mistake, was that he too was trying to do jobs that didn't suit him, so he could be more financially secure - didn't work.

The wisdom in this sentence is invaluable.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by TeeZee

I have been to plenty of therapists and I guess the only answer is self-acceptance and working harder to get what I want. The conditioning of my mind seems to be in there for good.

No, Trevor, it's not there for good! Don't get discouraged. The solution is not to work harder. Working hard while struggling with negativity is not very efficient and it's very frustrating. You'll end up exhausted and get bad results all the same. And a burn out

Self-acceptance is important indeed. I guess you've been to classical therapists. My suggestion would be to use EFT on your negative thoughts. Do you know EFT? It's a very efficient method. Here's a tutorial to learn it. It's easy and fast! This page is especially about money and job issues: Success & Abundance Through EFT

Most of all I would recommend you to read A New Beginning or Ask and it is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks. you'll understand what your negative thoughts really are and how to get rid of them and have the life you want. Great stuff!

Be happy, smile, soon you're going to have a positive mindset and a nice job

[ellie]

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

The wisdom in this sentence is invaluable.

Are you pulling my leg?

It wasn't written very clearly :P