Personal Development and Guilt

[Peter S C]

Has anyone else noticed a different type of guilt since they have taken an interest in personal development?

The type of guilt I am thinking of regards activities that we once enjoyed, but now seem unhealthy or unproductive. I call it Personal Development Guilt (PDG) Some examples in my life are:

• Sleeping in
• Eating fast food
• Having a big night out
• Watching TV

These are activities that I have cut down on since I have started my personal development journey. But to cut them out of my life completely would drive me crazy. For awhile I would feel guilty when doing these activities, but now I think I have overcome this (if you are interested, read my article Do You Suffer From PDG?).

So, what I really want to know is:
1) have you experienced this?
2) do you think this guilt can actually be a good thing? Eg if you should be at the gym but you have your ass planted to the couch the guilt may help you act.
3) how should one deal with it? In particular in those cases where you just want to relax (as we all need to do)

[Angela]

Guilt, like blame and shame, has only one use in my life -- to show me that I'm not being present to the moment, and that I'm fighting what is. And as long as I'm caught up in one of those feelings, and being absent or fighting, I'm powerless to think or act effectively in the face of whatever triggered the guilt or blame or shame. It is incredibly self-indulgent and even harmful, I feel, to dwell in them once they've served their purpose.

Once these signposts has pointed me towards awareness of now, its job is done -- thank you, and buh bye!

[sarge1]

Life has to be a balance of doing the right things and just sometimes pushing back. I have met people who are doing the right things but are fundamentally unhappy. Look at it like a trade off. I try and go to the gym but also have a blow out and couch potato.
I like to think I am balanced on this but some weeks are better than others.
I never feel guilty just aware of the consequences.
Life is far too short to get hung up on lifestyle guilts. Enjoy life to the full both good and might I say not so good..........

[eblight]

I believe that guilt is just so unproductive. It is never a good thing in my opinion and yet it is used by so many people to make themselves do things that are not always correct for them. For me it's more and more about listening to my body and the response I get to do something or not. Have you considered how much energy is used up and how much time is wasted in feelings of guilt?

[Amandaaa]

i know what you mean... but no, i don't feel guilty sleeping in, having a big night out, or watching TV.

i think it's all about balance.

if you're generally productive and you lead a pretty consistent lifestyle, then it can be healthy to "indulge" in those kinds of things every once in a while.

(sometimes you need a stimulating philosophical book.... sometimes you need 30 minutes of catty reality TV... )




if you never did the "wrong" thing, life would probably get very boring.
i think it's important to have Sundays... those days of rest, when you can lounge around and relax - or sleep in - or stay up too late - or drink coffee - or eat dessert - or go out with friends when you should be doing your work.

if your lifestyle is perfect the other 6 days of the week, then there's no reason to feel guilty.

[Lynni]

Maybe PD guilt is a symptom of perfectionism. You think of what you 'should' be doing to improve your character or make a better life for yourself and feel guilty if sleeping in isn't on that list.

Question - Why the heck isn't sleeping in on your PD list?!?

Doesn't improving your life mean liking your life? If you're going to eliminate the 'indulgences' you love from your life, doesn't that defeat the purpose? Maybe finding yourself frequently not doing the things that you believe are on your PD path (and feeling guilty about it) is a sign that you need to rethink some of your goals. Maybe they're not your goals. Maybe they're goals other people think are worthwhile and you've mistaken them for your own.

My dream is to be able to sleep in at least once a week, knowing that my life is running smoothly enough that things won't fall apart if I snooze a couple extra hours. *sigh*