stop taking pleasure in something that is hurting you....

[lightthecandle]

Music. it's a beautiful thing isn't it? for me, music stirs up all sorts of emotions. almost every song with lyrics makes me sad ( even though i HATE to admit it it's true) i mean there are songs that make me feel good, but they still bring some sadness in it.

the ONLY music that makes me feel good is CLASSICAL

but for some reason, I sometimes findmyself listening to music with lyrics, and although it makes me sad, i get somewhat of a pleasure i guess you can call it listening to it. It stirs up memories of the past...every song with lyrics , is that weird?

[lightthecandle]

my goal is to not listen to any music with lyrics for 20 hours. hopefully i can do it...wish me luck!!

something else that's bad for me, but gives me somewhat of a pleasure is facebook/myspace/friendster surfing for hours. I guess when I get stressedout i revert back to comparing myself with others on this site.

[jsot]

I generally don't have that problem with music I listen to, but there are a couple songs, while I like them, always make me sad. =/
And why stick to classical? I know of a few rock songs that are all instrumental, Jessica by the Allman Brothers Band comes to mind.
I'm with you about the Myspace/Facebook thing. I use it to keep in touch with people but sometimes looking at other's profiles makes me feel bad.

[Christian223]

This happens with all kinds of "addictions", i think that a good way out is to train yourself to stop doing it little by little, so you keep doing that wich is hurting you, but each time in less quantity until you reach the point where you are comfortably not doing it at all, i think Steve Pavlina has some articles on this try to look for them, good luck.

[lightthecandle]

hey all! I'm so proud of myself..I haven't listened to any music with lyrics (well, except some opera) and I feel AMAZING. I didn't know how much music with lyrics had an effect on me until now. I'm far more productive, and I don't worry about my past mistakes, or past life, in general.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that YOU know yourself more than anyone else. if you feel like something is bringing you emotional pain (ie. going on facebook/myspace/ friendster and comparing yourself with others, or hanging out with the wrong, negative people, or in my case listening to music with lyrics, etc) then test your self how long you can go without whatever it is thats distracting you and then see how good you feel about it. if you don't get it at first, don't worry, keep trying. I promised my self I wouldn't listen to music with lyrics last night, for 24 hours, but i broke it the next morning! but i didn't give up , then I had a good solid 8 hours of feeling content without it, so wooooohoooo

goooooooood luck!!

[lightthecandle]

Originally Posted by jsot

I generally don't have that problem with music I listen to, but there are I couple songs, while I like them, always make me sad. =/
And why stick to classical? I know of a few rock songs that are all instrumental, Jessica by the Allman Brother Band comes to mind.
I'm with you about the Myspace/Facebook thing. I use to keep in touch with people but sometimes looking at other's profiles makes me feel bad.

you know those few songs you said were making you sad..don't listen to them!! instead of avoiding music altogether maybe you can listen to something that makes you happy, or some classical, opera, or anything instrumental. Yeah, isn't that facebook craze annoying!!?? I used to go on myspace for hours a day...we're talking about 3 hours a day, and in the summer it shot to about 8!!! just think about all the other(even better!!) stuff you could be doing without it. for example, join a club, or sport, and help out those less fortunate...that'll make you feel good about yourself, instead of going through 100s of profiles on facebook! at the end of the day, see how AMAZING you'll feel having cut back this "addiction" hehe

good luck! let me know how things are going

[lightthecandle]

oh and this is the website I go to, to listen to classical music...just in case any of you guys are interested:

Home | Classical 96.3FM

[ArtVandelay]

lightthecandle: Inspiring story, and thanks for the website . I used to hate music, but more recently I've found myself listening to music on YouTube and iTunes, most often to reinforce the emotion I'm already feeling. Sure, there are some good songs, but the way I listen to music - one song over and over and over again - surely isn't productive. I love classical music and most of it makes me feel awesome, so I'm going to try and just listen to classical music in the next few days. Wish me luck!

[konmai]

i'm the same way with music! i'm thinking about doing a 30 day challenge of no music.

[Halcyon]

hmm I have something to say!

I have listened to music for so many years. Im a dark person. I found underground electro-industrial and black/death metal when I was 12. Which makes 11 years ago now. I loved it. The atmosphere, dark rhythms, and harsh vocals. The lyrics would vary from intellectual to political to just satanic and bulls**t in between.
Im at a different place now but I still love the style of music. Ive had some really hard times in life and music was always there. Some songs always put me at a place of peace or just want keep the negative energy to them. Others make me want to cry instantly for the rush of emotions they bring. However I learned that despite the pain I need to continue to hear the song. The more I listen I have the time to dig up the emotions and attempt to get over them. On the same note, the more I would listen to the song the emotions tied to it/them would decrease and fade away. Soon I would be able to listen and feel nothing. Next step in the process at the point you feel nothing is to attach a new emotion to the song.

This is something Im still working through. Im trying to gather as much music that will give me inspiration. The problem is with this kind of music is that sometimes Im inspired only when its raining. Rain inspires me and gives me an energy and peace at the same time. Or it will be a sad song but in the moment it will inspire me.

What Im saying is...
It depends what emotional/mental state you are in and its good to know what music is good for you in that state and you can change the emotional attachment to songs.

I wanted to thank you lightthecandle for your topic as well.

Also with the myspace/facebook thing. You go to those kind of sites because you want human interaction. Whats your myspace?


<Halcyon>

[The Cloud]

What's wrong with being sad? Emotions have no good/bad designation, they just are. Some emotions are caused by some things, other emotions are triggered by other things. The emotions themselves have no designation as good or bad, so if you want to feel sad by listening to music that makes you sad, then there is no shame in doing so.

[lightthecandle]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

What's wrong with being sad? Emotions have no good/bad designation, they just are. Some emotions are caused by some things, other emotions are triggered by other things. The emotions themselves have no designation as good or bad, so if you want to feel sad by listening to music that makes you sad, then there is no shame in doing so.

but sometimes you don't need that added anoyance/sadness that is triggered by the music that one listens to or anything else, especially if you're trying to be productive and listening to something that brings bad memories is not very good for one's emotional self. and if said activity does not bring joy or contentment why start ??

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

There was as time a long time ago when I cried whenever I heard music. The dying days of my previous marriage. I didn't listen to music radio for about 3 years.
In retrospect, I was desperately trying to stay married by denying my emotional needs which were not being met. Music, any music at that point, cut through my barriers and triggered my emotions, which were all unhappy.

It was only after the marriage broke up that I listened to music and worked through the emotions it evoked. It took a while! Finally sorted it all with EFT! So maybe ask yourself, what does it remind you of, why does it make you sad, then figure out the root cause and deal with it!

Much joy to you
Hazel