Acceptance of your current skill level.

[coLLege kid07]

This problem has been bothering me for awhile now. For the past for weeks or so I've been ignorant and in a state of denial about my current level of social skills. Also I've noticed this has expanded into other areas of my life rather unknownly (For example acceptance of my current ability of how fast I'm going when running. Usually I could pin-point my ability exactly but now I don't have a slight clue. It feels like an empty-ness inside =/). Finally I'm asking all the wonderful people on this board of what you did to get past this. How did you accept yourself exactly like you are now and what steps did you take to do this. I do have a slight clue where I stand, but like I said I'm still not totally sure. Thanks again.

[Christian223]

Hello collegeKid07, im in the situation of having recognized that my social skill level is that of one little 5 year old child , no big deal, why should it be?.

The things i have done to overcome it is to use EFT on each aspect or core issue of the problem that kept me away from becoming better socially (visit the link at my sig).

I have also readed much on websites and i bought a book called "how to win friends and influence people" by dale carnegie, its great and i recommend it to you. Now i just have to decide what i really want to do to grow as a person, because i admit that i am trully introverted, and that my strengths reside in me beign an introvert, so i want to remain authentic and not push myself to be something i am not, but, there is a balance between beign social and beign the introvert i am, wich i think its beign focused, and interested in other people, while at the same time remaining just as i am, and i just say this because in other times i really pushed myself to be something i am not, i tried to be extroverted, but this had a negative effect, it was extremely tiring, and it didnt last for too long, now im trying to reach that balance.

But i am becoming more balanced now, and i find people respect me much more, and i am much more confident and relaxed... the three keys i think are to be authentic, healthy, and sincerely interested in other people, growing is not easy or fast but it can be done you just have to start working on you, i hope that helps!

[coLLege kid07]

Thanks for the advice. I've done my research on this topic and it seems pretty interesting. If there is any other tips, I appreciate the advice.

[Boreas]

I think you should question where you get your levels from? Indeed they must come from comparing yourself to other people, and at that point you identify with what you see as lack in comparison to what someone else has.

Isn't it funny how most of the time when people make comparisons it is usually to bolster or trouble their ego?

"At least I am not as bad off as this guy"
"Why can't I have friends like that?"

The point is not to tie your ego in with things you percieve as having or lacking.

In other words, if you feel you could be better socially, don't take it personally, just make it a goal to work towards being better, us it as inspiration.

I know this is pretty confusing, Steve explains it better than I do, and I think this blog entry is what you are looking for:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...rsonal-growth/