Very Low Self Esteem And Low Confidence

[tefaroko]

I know the place you are in, honestly, I do. I've been there. I know that people saying you need to interact with someone else, or get a mentor, or attend a seminar, you can't possibly envision yourself doing any of those things.

What worked for me, and may work for you, was actually deciding I had hit 'rock bottom'. You hear about it all the time, addicts won't change until they hit it, the same thing with depressed people. The truth is YOU dictate what rock bottom is.

You just have to decide, you know what, I've sunk far enough. Maybe I AM inadequate, and maybe I don't measure up, but I don't owe anyone anything. I'll do what I do, I'll achieve what I achieve, and screw anyone that doesn't like it.

I was paralyzed with a fear of making an ass out of myself. I literally was incapable of putting myself in any kind of new surrounding, and I was anxious even in surroundings that weren't new. Then one day I just realized it couldn't possibly get any worse. I had hit rock bottom. I embraced the possibility that I was not going to measure up, that somehow and in some fashion I was less adequate than others, and I set out to try to improve myself.

Initially I had to do it alone. I took baby steps. I started running in a local park to improve my physical appearance. Alone. I took back trails so I wouldn't have to run in to anyone. From there I moved towards personal improvement in interaction. It sounds ridiculous, but I started listening to comedians and accumulating funny stories or anecdotes that I could use as icebreakers.

With regards to the job thing man, you just need to assert yourself. Go after what you want, and disregard any thoughts of what bad "might happen". If you think you deserve a higher position, and you aren't moving up in your office, start looking in the classifieds for a new place to work. When you switch over, you'll have the opportunity to reinvent yourself in a way.

Develop that frustration in to a "screw it" attitude, begin going after what you want, and don't let anyone stand in your way.

[vir_maha]

Thanks for your replies, I read ur replies daily atleast four to five times and it gives me a lot of strength to fight what I am facing right now. But unfortunately can't able to overcome this situation.

Take for example, today itself one of my friend told me he got a good job in a good company...and I don't know after talking to him..my thoughts get hold of me and creates a sensation of anxiety (it triggers automatically) and those low self esteem kinda thoughts...like I am in bad job...what the hell you are doing, look where are your friends going, change your field, do what they are doing...it continous...and creates a hell amount of anxiety which I can't bear.

Sometimes I think, I am a Jealous kind of person but deep inside my heart I know...I am not like that..I really feel happy for all my friends because I know they deserve where they are heading but the thing is I begin to criticize myself...i try to relate myself with others, I think that when all my friends will sit together with me...and they will be talking about their high profile jobs...their salaries ..and I will remain lagged..what society will think of me, what relatives will say that look.....his friends are in good position ...earning more ...and blah blah things.

And to be honest these are the things I eat, drink and sleep at regular basis...which ultimately is affecting my whole personality.

[cbreeze]

VM, congratulations on working on self esteem/confidence now, better sooner than later for the negative energy/thoughts are instantly projected to others and is perpetuated, that's law - so, begin, you are your own designer. Low sense of self, self doubt, etc., probably was programmed as a child, or maybe you feel you lack something physically - remember - you chose it and you can alter your image as you solely create and recreate yourself unconsiously. Pretending works easiest and faster for some ppl; pretending you are confident and that will emanate to others, or, select another probable self; the opposite probable self that simultaneously exists in non linear time, but you can invite it in - the Vir that is dynamic, charismatic and positive, commanding presence.

Log on mindreality.com, you'll find instructions on How to Project to Others. Remember, your mind is a computer. Reprogram those tapes! Nothing is etched in stone and we are all-ways in a state of becoming and have the power to be/look/have what ever we want - but you must feel you deserve it. Imperative that you deal/heal underlying issues that has made you feel, perhaps, lesser than. Never seek approval outside of yourself - your setting yourself up for disappointment. It all begins inside. Remember that self esteem is a state of moind. It is the way you think and feel about yourself and others, and it is measured by the way you act. It can also be defined as your internal belief system and how you experience life externally. It relates to having a positive sense of your inherent worth as a person.

EIGHT SPECIFIC WAYS TO INCREASE YOUR SELF ESTEEM
1. Decide that you want to have high self esteem,
2. If someone gives you a negative msg. about yourself consciously reject it,
3. Take care of your body by eating healthy, exercise,
4. Avoid self pity by reaching out to help others,
5. Try something you have never done before. Give it your best effort and praise yourself for chosing a challenge. Do not allow fear to immobilize you,
6. Decide what your beliefs are and then live according to those ideals,
7. Realize that you have the power to feel good about yourself NOW,
8. Act as if you are the person you most admire, by acting you change your molecular chemistry and your cellular structure will conform with your ideas and thoughts then become that person you admire which will ultimately be YOU - the only one in control and powerfull enough to recreate your self.

Praise yourself for wanting to change your self, for it will definitely change your inside/outside world, as well as benefit others around you.

You can do it, simply believe you are how you want to be NOW for NOW creates your tomorrows. Be all that you will be, by chosing to.

Godspeed! cbreeze

[Mighty Morgan]

Whew...been there done that and I hope I never return to the land of self induced misery..
You wrote:
"I am facing this problem of low self esteem along with low self confidence from my school days and now it is creating hell lot of problem in my professional, social as well as personal life."

How come your still letting your past infect your future?????

I know the pain involved with feeling so bad about yourself that it makes it difficult to breathe at times. But if you want some sort of change, YOU have to inititate the change. It may be scary, overwhelming, downright terrifying and seem impossible. But you and only you hold the keys to unlocking the doors within you that harbor your fears.
You can't change your entire life at once...but you can make small steps to change just ONE thing and from there new things will change. I'm not a doctor so I can't suggest anything about the meds.....but if there not working the way they are supposed to maybe something needs to change. Just a consideration.

[vir_maha]

How come your still letting your past infect your future?????

If I had the answer, I would have not started this thread. No offence here, but to be really honest it becomes my nature..And I think habit can be changed but Nature is like rock solid stone....how come you change that...??