Quick question -how do you handle resentment

[Enlightenment]

When you start feeling resentful towards someone, how do you handle resentment? I find when I'm bitter about something, it seeps through to most other situations in my life, until I'm feeling miserable and disappointed about everything. How do you, personally, control your resentment?
Thanks,
E

[Zukin]

There's something called "counterfactual thinking" which psychologists talk about in relation to regret (though I imagine this concept could be applied to overcoming resentment as well). Basically, thinking counterfactually involves thinking about how a situation could have gone much worse than it did.

To use counterfactual thinking to overcome resentment, you may want to imagine that what you are bitter about could have been worse.

[lizthefair]

When I recognize those feelings (like you have) I take a moment to acknowledge them, honor that I feel that way, and then try to step back from the emotional part of it and de-construct how I got to this particular emotional place in a detached/intellectual way.

Our emotions, even the "bad" ones are there as signals to our consciousness that something is going on. If we ignore them, they seep into the rest of our lives (as you noticed) if we honor them, and deal with the issue to which they point, much like the gas light in your car--they turn off.

[Enlightenment]

So, if you feel resentful (internal) towards someone as a reaction to something they did (external), then the best thing to do is pinpoint it and deal with it. Perhaps with tapping, or with counterfactual thinking as Zukin mentioned? I doubt confronting the person would be useful since it is you who is reacting to whatever they happened to do. Right?

E