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| Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT |
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09-02-2007, 12:15 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 90
 |  Life and emotions
What if you're life sucks, but you really don't know what to do to make it better. For example: Your life sucks, and you consciously acknowledge your life sucks, but you have no idea what to do to make it better, so your life just keeps on sucking with you knowing it sucks but without you knowing what the hell to do about it. So it's a weird situation because you're out of denial about your life sucking, but your life just keeps on sucking, but your consciously aware of the severity of how ♥♥♥♥♥♥ your life is but you don't know what to do to make it not ♥♥♥♥♥♥ anymore. So basically you're life is consciously sucking/♥♥♥♥♥♥. It's weird becuase my life sucks and I'm totally aware of how much it sucks and how ♥♥♥♥♥♥ it is but I have no idea what to do. I'm not overweight or anything like that. I'm like 125 lbs physically fit I played hockey for 10 years of my life, played tennis, swam, baseball, tae kwon do, etc. I'm just at a point where I have all these options for long term decisions on how I want to live my life, but I just can't come to clarity on what to choose. And it's weird being consciously aware of your life while it's sucking, because you would think once you become conscious and aware of how ♥♥♥♥♥♥ your life is you would be able to change it pretty easily because you're conscious now, but it just isn't that way. I am conscious and aware now but my life still sucks the big one. So I'm fully conscious/aware/and awake but my life blows. And it's really unfulfilling. And I'm not in denial about how ♥♥♥♥♥♥ my life is either, but I just don't know what to do. I meditate a lot and think that will bring clarity, but I guess I'm just really impatient and get kind of down on how negative my life sort of has turned. I feel like one day I should be able to wake up and just know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I just want to be happy and I'm not happy. People give me all of this advice on what to do but it's all ♥♥♥♥♥♥ advice that I've done before that contributed to my unhappiness in the first place so I don't take their advice. So I just live day by day with this unhappy life waiting for clarity. And again it's really weird because I'm staying conscious through this whole "♥♥♥♥♥♥ period" of my life. I don't even watch tv, listen to radio, eat sugar, consume caffeine, or do drugs or drink alchol or anything. My life just totally sucks and whenever I think about my life it makes me sad because of how ♥♥♥♥♥♥ it is. Any advice on what I can do?
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09-02-2007, 12:35 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: The Darkness / The Never
Posts: 1,673
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Eric, my friend, life is not out to get you. Life is there for you to create. Stop thinking your life is crappy, and start seeing the good points. All it needs a conscious effort of will power to change something, anything at all...buy yourself a new shirt, get a new hair cut, buy a new toothbrush, tidy your apartment/house, by a DVD...anything...sort yoru life out one step at a time. Microtask everything, don't try and do it all at once or you will fall flat on your arse pretty quickly...
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09-02-2007, 01:04 AM
| #4 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
"My accomplishments: I earned a black belt in Tae Kwon Do before the 5th grade, I've learned how to play piano, violin, and guitar, I'm an early riser (4:15 a.m daily), I'm on a strictly all raw vegan diet, lightworker, my passion is personal development, meditator, optimist, lucid dreamer, had out of body experiences, intuitive, logical, extroverted introvert, highly motivated, energetic, purpose driven. I know this just sort of looks similar to Steve's bio but many of the things are the same to me that's why I see that I can accomplish this." You also said that you wanted to pursue a career in the field of personal development... What's the deal here... who are we to believe...??? One day you're Steve and Tony... the next day you can't find your pants... So what's the story...??? Come clean and you might get some help... . | |
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09-02-2007, 04:21 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 90
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The story is I have no idea what the story is. Some days I feel fine. Other days I feel like ****. Mood swings maybe? Some days I feel like I have it all together, and other days I don't. I'm truly sorry if I offended you. It's like my life came crashing down on me and I had to start over from ground zero and some days I feel like I'm doing OK and them other days I take a hard look at where I am and get really depressed. It seems like I fluctuate a lot between conscoiusness and moods or something. And it's difficult for me to stay in high awareness with my living arrangements I'm trying my damndest to get out of this rut but it seems like somthing is always dragging me down. Everything I've wrote on this site is true. |
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09-02-2007, 04:47 PM
| #6 (permalink) | |
| Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Hamburg, Germany
Posts: 18
| Quote:
There is a reason you are getting dragged down - you are trying to omit some steps from where you are to where you want to be. Instead of focusing only where you want to be, learn to accept and be ok with where you are at now. Then take the necessary steps without looking for shortcuts (they don't exist). | |
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09-02-2007, 04:48 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 90
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I think it's something like this: All of that stuff with tae kwon do and the instruments, that's all true, but that doesn't guarantee that I'm happy...That doesn't even guarantee I'm fulfilled or love my life, because I'm far from "loving my life" you can say I'm closer to "hating my life". I've done all of that stuff I've listed but that doesn't mean I'm not in a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ place in my life right now because I am. I absolutely would love and am pursuing a career in personal development because I have personal been developing my entire life hence the other post with all the accomplishments I have had years ago but have just recently consciously been developing just the past few years and since I have been so focused on growing the past few years it has become a passion of mine. That doesn't mean I'm in a place I want to be in right now I would love to be in a better place right now but I know overnight success is a illusion and is highly unlikely. I have had to shed my entire "old" life to get where I'm at today. I've still accomplished all of that stuff I said and am pursuing a career in the field but that doesn't mean I already have my life together and already have everything I want, because I don't. I'm starting from scratch. I've remodeled my life.
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09-02-2007, 05:16 PM
| #8 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
Now back to business... would you mind giving us your personal rule for "feeling good" ...exactly what criterion do you have to meet in order to feel good...??? We each have a personal rule for that... yet most of us are unconscious that we have that rule... and sometimes the rule is set up in a way that it is impossible for us to feel good... As an example... someone whose personal rules says that he can only feel good when being slim and in shape... and spending all day on the net... So, I would suggest that you define and give us your personal rule for feeling good... . | |
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09-02-2007, 06:34 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 90
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Well I think "feeling good" would be to have it all I guess: the money, the relationships etc. And all of that stuff is sort of in the making proccess but hasn't come to fruition just yet and I'm very impatient. I think I may just be disappointed because I've been living so far below my potential for so long and am just realizing and acting on my full potential. Sorry if you get a different story from my other post and my blog I could write a million books telling you about me but if you're so anal about that then you can ubsubscribe from the blog any time you want. I figure it's better letting people know more about me and being honest than being dishonest. It's pretty clear to me that my life is going in the upwards direction I guess I'm just impatient. And again I've changed my life do drastically lately that I'm left with "nothing" so as to give me space to allow what I truly want into my life, and noticing that what I truly want hasn't arrived yet and knowing that I reconstructed my entire life and let go of everything that was holding me back leaving me with "nothing" is sort of funny. I guess I need to be more creative, have more inner alertness and aliveness during this whole proccess.
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09-02-2007, 07:31 PM
| #10 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 937
| Quote:
 Eric, you have to face up to the challenges. You can wallow in your own fear, or you can cast it aside, dig through it, and get some answers. What exactly sucks so bad? | |
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09-02-2007, 07:33 PM
| #11 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
If you don't know what it takes to make you feel good, here and now, how can you achieve it...??? That's like walking into a restaurant and not knowing what you want to eat... there is no way that you can be satisfied with your meal... You say that you've made all these changes and efforts... what's the use... you don't even know what you want... If you want to change the world... the only place that you can start is with yourself... if you want to make the world a better place... the only place that you can start is with yourself... if you want to contribute... the only place that you can start is with yourself... Your entire universe is but a reflection of who you perceive yourself to be and how you feel about it... So, if you want to move ahead... expand and grow... answer the damn question... "What does it take for you to feel good...???" I don't need to know the answer to that... but you do... . | |
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09-02-2007, 07:54 PM
| #15 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 937
| Quote:
 Eric, when Shamou asks what would be the condition would be for happiness, I think what he means is there's usually something very specific. For me, my happiness is utterly contingent on having symbiotic loving connections with other humans. One problem I used to have, being a dreadful overachiever, was never wanting to appear anything less than perfect in front of people. If I was depressed, I didn't want loved ones to see me. If I had a bad zit, same deal. (I'm serious.) When you put forth this image of being perfect rather than being yourself, you fail to connect and I couldn't be happy, because not only could I not receive help for my problems, but I couldn't honestly give because I was afraid of exposing negative life experience that might have made me look imperfect. | |
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09-02-2007, 08:06 PM
| #16 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 3,811
| Quote:
 The easier and the more simple our personal rule is... the happier we can be... I fashioned by own rule on someone's else at a Robbins, seminar... that rule is, "When I wake up in the morning... if I can see the ceiling... I'm happy..." I don't ask or require anything else to feel good or be happy... . | |
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09-02-2007, 08:13 PM
| #17 (permalink) | ||
| Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 937
| Quote:
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09-03-2007, 03:37 AM
| #19 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 73
| Quote:
Judging from disconnectedness from your posts--as well as some things I picked up on from your posts about wanting to get into PD--I'd suggest you stretch out the decision making process a bit longer... it's not clear that the conclusion you seem to have come to is the right one for you, or that all the pieces fit yet. Take your time, and revel in the exploratory process! Enjoy the roller coaster ride that is personal growth... or to mix my metaphors, think of yourself as having taken a wipe out while skiing unexplored terrain: you thought you know where you're going, but now you've been thrown for a loop and you've lost your bearings... so check to make sure the body parts are all working, collect yourself, re-equip, and take off again when you're settled. Your destination hasn't moved, you just need to remember where it is. | |
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09-06-2007, 08:04 PM
| #20 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 388
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Your right to acknowledge the state you are in, this acknowledgement of being perpetually stuck and not knowing the answer is much better than the state of denial where you believe nothing can be done. Now you see that you have options, but are unsure what option to choose. This is not a bad thing is actually a progressive move. Yet the next stage is to figure out which choices are going to be productive in the long term range, and what solutions you will have to garner in the present state of existence. I totally relate to this entry because I too am basically in the same state of mind where it seems like I'm going in circles. But I also know psychologically that acknowledgement of a problem is the first step toward solving it. Acknowledging that you don't know where to go with your life is the first step toward figuring out where you want to go. It does no good to pretend that you know what is best for you when you truly don't. Seeking the advice of others can help, pertaining that the advice they give you is not taken blindly, but rather weighed and thought about. I made the mistake of blindly following the advice of others, some of conflicting with other advice before I realized that the advice that people give to me isn't always accurate for my situation. I am stuck too, but I am aware that I am stuck which in a way makes me somewhat relieved, yes somewhat apprehensive, but relieved that at least I am no longer denying my reality.
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09-07-2007, 10:30 AM
| #21 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: New Zealand
Posts: 172
|  Being Stuck.
I agree with what Chado wrote. Acknowledging you are stuck then you can do something about it. It's about allowing without beating yourself up or being impatient with where you are right now. If you have the intention to change so that you are in alignment with what is correct for you then you will begin to be aware of the things that show up in your life that feel good and move toward them. Go well.
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