how do you get over the person you were in highschool?

[lightthecandle]

like, how do you get over, being socially awkward, wierd, dumb stupid, lazy., depressed, loner, shy, insance
i feel like i've changed alot for the better, yet i still feel like people from highschool still view me as the person i used to be ( a person who really HATED herself) to the new me

[Angela]

Travel alone. Even a weekend in a city other than your own.

Pursue new interests. Take adult education classes. Join an outdoor adventure group. Start online dating.

Write in your journal about who you are reinventing yourself to be. Determine and write down your values and the short- and long-term goals that arise out of your values.

Make new friends, using the above.

Leave the past in the past where it belongs. Stop lugging it around. It's not them -- it's you.

[juicemcnewton]

I mean if you've changed, the people who didn't notice must not know you very well. Just be who you are, I'm not sure you really have a choice afterall.

Hell, I'm not the same person I was 5 minutes ago.

[Jason S]

The more you can laugh at how much of a rookie you used to be, the easier it gets. I run into people I knew in high school all the time; being able to talk with them and laugh with them about my social awkwardness growing up not only helps reset the dynamics of our relationship, but it helps reinforce the break between my old self and who I am today.

As an aside, I'd say that about 80-90% of the people I interview say they felt like outsiders in high school. Even if it's clear I'm talking to someone who was the ringleader of one group or another, s/he will nearly always express how s/he felt like the misfit of the group. That knowledge has helped me stop worrying about what I was like back in the day, since it means that odds are, whomever I am talking to is just as concerned about their own past as I am about mine.

[Blake30]

I think I'm kind of the opposite here. In high school, I was friends with everyone, very outgoing, and always doing stuff.

But now, I'm more laid back and focused on my goals. While I don't just ignore everyone, I've got a couple friends that go to my college, and that's pretty much it. It's hard for people to understand why I'm not the "party animal" like everybody else is these days. And sure, I've lost some friends over it, but in my opinion, I need to move on.

It all started with me deciding I was going to make a change, and start living every day to the best of my ability. I was spending way too much time worried about trying to live up to what I was in high school. But now, I try to meet new people every day. I think it really helps to get out and realize that the world is much bigger than the corner of it you live in.

Good luck, and I would also suggest traveling to somewhere different. There is nothing like going place to place in travel, and knowing the fact that none of those people know who you "were," but they only know who you are "now."

[dennis08]

I agree with some of the posts here but a geographical location won’t change who you are.

[Peleke4]

Look at it from a different angle; people will see how you have changed for the better and give you props for that.

[Tam9]

Don't worry about how people see you. It's how you see yourself that counts. Those worth knowing will not judge you. They will accept you for who you are, then and now.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by dennis08

I agree with some of the posts here but a geographical location won’t change who you are.

Hey there, Dennis08. The purpose of traveling (especially alone) is not to change who you are, but to expand your point of view.

The more you broaden your horizon, the more diverse people and culture you're exposed to, the less provincial you become -- the less you care about what anyone from high school thinks of you.

[douglasbedford]

you have to remember a distinct moment in high school where you have felt that way ( awkward, or weird) and apply something positive that you know about yourself now and hopefully you will realized you have grown a lot since high school.

I had similar feelings until i talk to some kid in high school that was down on himself and i saw how much i have actually grown.

Also i looked at my year book (class of 2000) and i honestly felt like i did not recognize that picture of me anymore.

hope what i said helps