how do you get over taking longer than expected?

[lightthecandle]

for example, I always planned on going to college for 4 years and then med school. but i'm sophmore now, and it's going to take my 5 years to graduate. My parents don't know about this, and they're expecting me to graduate on time. how on earth do i tell them? i'm scared they're going to get REALLY upset =(
and how do i get over what my peers think about this? i personally don't care, because i feel like this is happening for a reason. but it's still hard to deal with sometimes

[Akashic_Librarian]

Your stare them in the face, and you tell them. If they get upset, tis really not your problem. Its your life, and you live it how you want...btw what is a sophmore...I have NO idea, since I am from the UK.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Sophomore is second year of uni here in the US.

I think AL is totally right on this. You are responsible for your life. You have to lead it and direct it. So, while I don't think it advisible to completely ignore the opinions of others (they can serve you in some ways), I do think it's very correct to take them with a grain of salt.

It's not like you killed anyone!

[Angela]

Who is paying for your education? If you are paying for it yourself, then your parents and anyone else just has to suck it up. You're an adult, you make your choices. The end.

If your parents are paying for it, or helping you financially, then you do owe it to them to outline your plan and make a commitment to them. OR, alternatively, stop taking their money.

[Brutha]

Get used to the 90-90 law. The first 90% of the work takes 90% of the time sheduled for a project the auther 10% takes the other 90% of the time.

[openeyes]

I believe the term is "super senior". Taking 9 or 10+ semesters to graduate seems fairly common at this point. Graduating early is mostly important if cost is a major issue. Timewise, you could enjoy having an extra year, and I don't see many people looking down on you for it, particularly if you present it well.

[Ree]

From what I've heard from my sons and their friends, five years is not all that unusual these days.

And from personal experience of writing those tuition checks, it's not a good thing to find out you have another year of tuition to pay when you're not expecting it. If your parents are footing the bill, tell them as soon as possible so they can plan accordingly. And apologize.

[The David]

If they are supporting you financially but are demanding that you graduate sooner than you reasonably can, it would probably be better to drop out and get a job until you can pay for it yourself.

[carenkh]

Originally Posted by The David

If they are supporting you financially but are demanding that you graduate sooner than you reasonably can, it would probably be better to drop out and get a job until you can pay for it yourself.

You wouldn't have to drop out - most colleges have work/study and would have other suggestions to help you make it work (besides loans).

[sheffy4]

I know the feeling. I had to push back my graduation date 2 times. And then, to add on top of that, I decided to change my major half way through my senior year. I essentially just flipped my major and minor, so I didn't have to push back my graduation a third time, but it does change my career path.
I was afraid to tell my parents also. I was afraid they would judge me and think I wasn't doing the right thing, or not working hard enough, but I realized that these were only my judgments, not necessarily theirs.
When I finally told them, they were both very understanding.

Plus, I'm not sure I know anybody that has graduated "on time." Things happen to everybody to hold things up. But what's the big hurry? What difference will one extra year make? Or even 2 or 3 years? It's your life, and it's not like the train is gonna leave with out you.

[Freelancer]

I've got my stupid arse in a similar situation 2 times already.

My solution was to hide it from them for months and then when this became to much to bear spill it all out at once (basically pressure cooker idea).
Now naturally this didn't help at all in terms of studying because I was constantly beating myself up.

I did this TWICE (told you I was stupid).


My suggestion, tell them and tell them now.

Honestly just works so good.
Lying has a tendency to bite you in the arse.

[astra]

Hi,

I'm just wondering why it's going to take you longer than you originally expected? Have you failed subjects and need to do them again or something? It just seems to me that you feel guilty, and perhaps there's nothing you should feel guilty about is all.

[veranadine]

Hey. No big deal. Honestly. Five years is quite normal these days.

It took me 6 years to finish a 4 year Bachelors and then 4 years to finish a two-year Masters.

Why?

Quite simply, I was living my life. I was traveling the world, doing study-abroads, embracing my hobbies, experimenting with career ideas, learning meditation and magic, getting married and then divorced.

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.

Do not apologize or feel guilty for your learning experiences...college builds a paper degree, life builds character.

BTW, these "delays" in no way ended up effecting my overall success, I am now a professional spirit channel and inspirational writer.

My life experience informed my career so much more than my college degree.

Hope this helps.

Blessings,