Cgw #5

[Orionjoel]

Originally Posted by Sai

Joking aside, the social courage exercises were the most helpful. I feel so much better saying Hi or giving high fives to strangers. It's made me more social, a bit more courageous and much happier. But let me see how I do in a club or a bar before I say too much.

I would have thought that this would be a fair bit easier in a bar/club being that most of the time people in this sort of place are to some degree drunk and dont so much care really.

Joel

[Divajules]

Originally Posted by 90802

Hmm, not that anyone would disagree with that, but they may have came away with completely different insights

Now, I'm not sure where the heart of dixie is, but if you are near Atlanta stay in touch. There's an attendee who's moving here, and we are going to stay in touch. You should join us if you live nearby

That would be great! I sent you a pm.

[ssandra]

I realized this weekend that making friends is EASY!

It is not this high, imposing mountain somewhere in the distance. It is as easy as saying hi and saying how are you doing?

I loved the workshop.

I now feel like I have a sense of purpose and a specific action plan to work towards.

I'm going to be on the forums a lot less, 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon (that's what my signature refers to) otherwise it will cost me a lot of money, and worse, people will be disappointed in me...

With the extra free time I'm going to write, get out of the house, make new friends, and enjoy myself

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Divajules

That would be great! I sent you a pm.

Hey Diva. I'm the one moving to Atlanta . (Chris: I met divajules at CGW 2 )

[Dan Carter]

Simon, how can you be unmotivated when there are lonely pianos out there waiting to have Final Fantasy played on them!?

The biggest thing I took away from the workshop was this:
IT IS UP TO YOU TO CREATE THE SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT THAT WILL ALMOST AUTOMATICALLY COMPLETE YOUR GOALS FOR YOU

I feel absolutely helpless to get over my fear of approaching strangers alone, but this week I've already found a group of people who do this stuff together almost every day. Planning to meet with them this weekend. Thank god for internet forums.

I've also got 1 person committed to a workout plan at work and we will set goals, penalties, and rewards for the group to keep us all in it together. 3 more are interested and I know they shall follow The start date is scheduled for next Monday. We are going to put a big paper on the wall to track progress and record shameful missed workouts.

I've tried to do this life thing alone for too long. Thanks for the massive insights Steve

[Dan Carter]

Simon, I definitely agree that one of the keys to being happy is talking to strangers (if that is what you meant). I always feel very relaxed after doing it. The more nervous I was before, the more relaxed I feel after. The key is not letting the nerves intimidate you...

[Sai]

Originally Posted by Dan Carter

Simon, how can you be unmotivated when there are lonely pianos out there waiting to have Final Fantasy played on them!

Haha, like I told you before Dan, I don't really enjoy playing the piano. I get restless and agitated after playing it for a bit.

Originally Posted by Dan Carter

Simon, I definitely agree that one of the keys to being happy is talking to strangers (if that is what you meant). I always feel very relaxed after doing it. The more nervous I was before, the more relaxed I feel after. The key is not letting the nerves intimidate you...

I didn't find that out until after I did it, so it was more of a discovery rather than the application of a principle that I knew beforehand. But talking to strangers definitely makes me happier, particularly giving them high fives. There were actually a couple of cute girls that I've spoken to over the past two days; looking back now, I should've asked for their numbers!!! Oh well, there are plenty more fish in the sea, as they say.

[Divajules]

Originally Posted by seeker5

Hey Diva. I'm the one moving to Atlanta . (Chris: I met divajules at CGW 2 )

Ha, Seeker! Awesome! I saw that you were moving (on fb) but didn't realize you were the one Chris was talking about.

I would definitely road trip to Atlanta to meet up with you guys.

[Orionjoel]

Simon, I continuously feel like I am in a position like that where you speak to someone and the connection seems to just click, but it is only a little while later when you replay the interaction in your mind that you realize just what could have done so much more as part of the interaction.

[Sai]

Originally Posted by Orionjoel

Simon, I continuously feel like I am in a position like that where you speak to someone and the connection seems to just click, but it is only a little while later when you replay the interaction in your mind that you realize just what could have done so much more as part of the interaction.

Well yeah, for sure, and that can also apply to a lot of things. I think it's called "benefit of hindsight." But the thing is not get too attached to what could've been - it can so easily lead to regret and depression.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Orionjoel

Simon, I continuously feel like I am in a position like that where you speak to someone and the connection seems to just click, but it is only a little while later when you replay the interaction in your mind that you realize just what could have done so much more as part of the interaction.

I believe interactions go exactly the way they should go at that moment with that person.

If you have that feeling a lot, you might want to push yourself in your next social interaction, just to see what happens. But especially when the conversation just seems to flow and things just feel like they are working out... that's how it's supposed to be...

[Sai]

Is CGW#5 supposed to turn introverts into party animals? That seemed to be the case last night.

My cousin asks me to come out and it's a 50/50 decision so I used a coin flipping programme to decide for me. 2 out of 3 said "Do it!" so I did.

The bus ride got a bit boring so I asked the stranger next to me for the time which lead to a conversation about the usual stuff. It died a little but it was fine since I got over the hurdle of the 1st stranger.

On the way to the pub, I high fived a couple of strangers which made me feel good. I also high fived a few others in the pub whilst waiting for my friends to arrive. The idea of the high five came either from Daniel Carter or me whilst we were at CGW#5; it's quick, requires little commitment from the other, and it's usually fun. It's an easy way to interact with strangers I've found.

After a few drinks, we then bounced to a bar/club where we had more drinks. The music was pumping, I felt like dancing but the rest of my group weren't into it yet. "After these drinks", "After this", "After that"...I was getting bored and itching to go. We finally went to the dance floor downstairs and it was.......dead. Well, almost dead. There were a few more drinks and then I and a couple of us started dancing. I was very comfortable when dancing. In fact, I was comfortable all night. I didn't care about dancing the best, I just cared about having fun. There was a lady close by and I started to dance with her. It was great fun and we danced on and off the whole night. I was unattached to the outcome and wasn't trying to impress her or anything - just fun. That set the tone for the whole night because the rest of my reluctant group came to the dance floor and we had quite a bit of fun. I was especially proud of my cousin dancing with the same girl I danced with, because he hasn't danced with many strangers.

Things got a bit slow so I went upstairs and I high fived everyone. Loved it. Awesome fun. Went back downstairs, danced a bit more then left the club.

I left the club on a high so I attempted to high five as many strangers I could on the streets. There were quite a few rejections, which was a good learning experience, but it made the high fives all the more fun.

We bounced to a restaurant, ate and talked. My good friend Jason was particularly impressed with my "transformation". One of the other guys in our group alerted us to a group of girls sitting on another table and he wanted to talk to them but was hesitant. He left to go to the toilet. I was about to leave myself to go home, but I thought, "**** it" and went over to the group of girls. High fives all around and a quick "How's it going?" before I left proved to me (and possibly to others) that it isn't so difficult speaking to strangers.


If I had seen a video of myself doing all these things before I went to CGW, I definitely wouldn't have believed it. I'd think I'm just faking it all or that the version of myself I was watching was at least 5 years into the future. If some of my other friends had come out that night I think they might have been flabbergasted. From their perspective, the change might seem to be enormous, but from my perspective I don't feel I've changed much - I've just become more comfortable, more honest with myself and others. That's probably why I told Steve I hadn't had major breakthroughs; my changes were more subtle compared to starting a business or moving country, but beneficial nonetheless.

Thanks again Steve, and if you've read through all this, you're a champ.

[Savage]

Congrats, Simon!

In a way, this is the real you from 5 years in the future. It's the kind of person you may have grown into eventually anyway if you kept pushing yourself w/o really being aware of the best way to do it. The growth accelerators from CGW simply help you get there faster by helping you bypass the obstacles that would otherwise block you. For example, instead of getting stuck in your head analyzing everything, you know it's faster to dive in with trial and error and see what happens. And of course it's a lot more fun.

[seeker5]

So, here is why one reason I've loved these CGWs - You can leap closer to what you are even if it means doing something different than what may be espoused on the blogs!

During CGW 1, in October, I decided during the health portion to go back to eating meat. I had been a vegetarian for 12 months and almost vegan for 6 months and it wasn't working well for me. I felt I had to stay a vegetarian because well, all my friends that were cool and awesome were vegetarian, or more advanced yet, vegan and/or raw. So, in a way I was like that because it seemed like the thing smart people do. At CGW 1, I realized, I didn't have to be like that just because all those people I admire and appreciated as friends were like that - so I went back to eating meat, and haven't stopped since . It's worked out a good deal better for me.

During CGW 3 in May, during the relationship section, I had another realization - for the first time in 3 years or so, I now wanted a monogamous and committed relationship! What a big shft for me, as during those years, I didn't want any commitment, and certainly nothing monogamous and mostly wanted to have a lot of fun, growth experiences in this area. However, during CGW 3, I just realized I was finally ready to go experience a monogamous and committed long-term relationship! That blew me away that I would want that at the time. I'm happy to report I've now started such a relationship, and it feels so incredibly right for me.

Finally, I had another experience at CGW 5. Two and a half years ago I quit my job and haven't worked at job since (and loved it) - and 5 months ago I got my MBA. The last 5 months I just traveled around, not yet resonating with starting a job search, but mostly seeking to having an awesome and amazing time. Shortly before CGW 5, I finally felt ready to get a job, but I had some blocks and wanted to use CGW 5 to get a breakthrough in getting a career started. Well, I got exactly the breakthrough I needed and now I've started my job search and I'm super excited by it!

So, some people may read Steve's blog post and think that those who go to CGW become vegetarian/vegan/raw, polyamorous and quit their job. It's true a number of people do these things, and some may even have done all of those things as a result of CGW. However, in my case, CGW was so helpful for me to become a meat-eater, monogamous and get started on getting a job. And that's the beauty of CGW, we grow in the area we most resonate with.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Divajules

I would definitely road trip to Atlanta to meet up with you guys.

Awesome, look forward to that .

[Orionjoel]

Thanks for sharing that is some great insights it would seem that you have had.

I for one can say that attending CGW has not really pushed me towards any diet Vegan/Raw, not so much because I do not feel that it would be beneficial, but more because It becomes such a big part of life. I do think that it is fantastic people can make this choice and follow it so well, however for me I don't particularly enjoy the limitations it creates. I have a hard enough time choicing a meal off a menu at a restaurant let alone if I could not choose something with meat. I can see how it could be a much more feasible option somewhere with a store like Wholefoods, it actually makes it possible. Where as in Australia I would probably be paying 2 to 3 times the price for the organic and it is more difficult to get a hold of.

I am thinking that in the coming few weeks I will have some eye openers come up for me, I just have not had the time to process what I gained at CGW just yet.