New CGW page - left-brained version

[Savage]

I just put up a new version of the CGW page:
Conscious Growth Workshop - Steve Pavlina

I rewrote most of the text from scratch to make it more concise. I also added details weren't there before, such as the part describing the use of accelerated learning techniques. It's still a long page, but I think it flows much better than before.

This version is much more left-brained than previous versions. You could say it's at the opposite end of the spectrum from the version created by the copywriter that I mentioned in a previous blog post.

Let me know what you think.

Also, just a reminder that the $100 early registration discount for the July 16-18 CGW is only good for a few more days. Monday is the last day. The price goes up by $100 on Tuesday. That's as far as I can push it since CGW starts on Friday.

[supertom]

are you only looking for the input of CGW alumni ?

[Zach M]

I'm glad you just gave the price as-is and stopped describing it as a threshold of power needed to participate.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by supertom

are you only looking for the input of CGW alumni ?

I give the most weight to feedback from attendees and potential attendees.

[Brad Paul]

Steve, I reviewed your new CGW page and here are my impressions and suggestions.

Impressions

I liked the left-brain approach and the new details. The information flowed well and the use of numbered lists helped to nail down your points.

Suggestions

Title - Suggest this wording instead: Achieve Breakthroughs that Can Transform Your Life during this 3-Day Workshop.

Pictures - The descriptions under the photos are great, but I suggest these small changes. The descriptions are complete sentences so they should all have punctuation at the end. In addition, I suggest putting the text into borderless tables so it doesn’t overlap the pictures. This will also allow you to position the most appropriate grouping of words on each line and avoid an awkward appearance.

Venue - Adding a sentence about the history of the infamous Flamingo Hotel might be of interest to potential participants. A photo of the ballroom reception area with that great view of the pool area in the background might be nice as well.

Videos - The video testimonials are fantastic. I know that you’ve had these for awhile, but as I reviewed your new page I got the idea of adding two more categories. 1.) Add a video that features excerpts from the workshop(s) that you recorded. You could use this video later to help explain the value of the DVD version of the CGW that you’ve mentioned offering at some point in future. 2.) Add a video of you summarizing the main points on the page and close with your intentions for the participants.

I hope that this is helpful.

[Cochonette]

I know a lot of people will disagree with this, but I personally find it rather long-winded as someone already quite familiar with your ideas. Mainly what I'm curious about is how this differs from the book, which I just read last month and am now re-reading, but I feel like you've probably already explained that somewhere before I got around to reading it. If I had the money, I'd probably just go and trust that it would be a rewarding addition to the book, but as I don't have that money right now, I dunno.

Sorry, I feel my post is not very helpful.

[The Unconquered]

Dislike. Too left-brained for me. Plus, it's too long. I'd prefer 2 printed pages (8 1/2 x 11 or A4) tops, shorter and more scannable lists, and the pictures nearer the top. In short, something more flyer-ish so I could print it out and give it to my offline friends. I'd rather not print out your current version, which my computer says is 21 pages long at the moment, to give to my friends -- "Oh, I'm too busy to look at that right now."

I also think "left-brained" and "conscious growth" to be a poor combination from personal experience, as conscious growth is a creative activity and is thus considered more "right-brained".

I prefer the short skirt method to advertising: Long enough to cover the necessary material, but short enough to keep it interesting

[The Unconquered]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

I know a lot of people will disagree with this, but I personally find it rather long-winded as someone already quite familiar with your ideas.

Considering that I've read in previous threads that most people who go to CGW are people who are already familiar with the ideas Steve presents, I think that this is a very valid concern. For once we agree on something, Cochonette. Hell must be freezing over.

While I realize that providing a link to another page may be detrimental because it would take the buyer off the sales page, I think it would be interesting to figure out what ideas should be rehashed on the page and what ideas could be more glossed over.

[Savage]

Deciding how much info to include on this page is tricky. I could have added even more info if I wanted to slant it towards people who are new to the site. For example, I didn't include a section about me as the presenter.

I think that in this case, more detail is probably better than less, all things considered. But I won't know for sure until and unless I test a short version.

[cacheborn]

Yes this version is much better than the earlier one. I may be biased here because I inherently like the left brained approach. I am not sure how it would appeal to people who are more inclined towards right brained approach.

I agree about the length. A person who has no idea about CGW may not be ready to read through all of it. A workaround may be to distribute the material on different pages and provide links. So if you provide links to the testimonials on a separate page for example, it will reduce the visual length of the introductory page. And a person visiting for the first time can choose and decide which information s/he wants.

[The Unconquered]

Originally Posted by cacheborn

Yes this version is much better than the earlier one. I may be biased here because I inherently like the left brained approach. I am not sure how it would appeal to people who are more inclined towards right brained approach.

I agree about the length. A person who has no idea about CGW may not be ready to read through all of it. A workaround may be to distribute the material on different pages and provide links. So if you provide links to the testimonials on a separate page for example, it will reduce the visual length of the introductory page. And a person visiting for the first time can choose and decide which information s/he wants.

I think a "whole brain" approach would be preferable (in addition to links off the page or anchors on the page): videos/pics for right-brained folk and text for the left-brained. While I did finally take the time to read the "book ad", I think the text should be edited for conciseness, focused on "What CGW can do for you that Steve's forums/book/blog/other products can't?" Personally, a heartfelt answer to that would get me to sign over my dough.

The only thing that I'm letting hold me back from signing up for CGW is $. I guesstimate the flight/hotel/workshop would cost me $1000 roughly. I'm sure there are ways to cut back on cost, but I know if I can get that emotional hook, I'd be much more inclined to see how I can swing it. I wasn't planning to join Toastmasters last night, for example, but the guy who had been recruiting me gave such a heartfelt Icebreaker that it melted the last fissures in my heart (pun intended). So if Steve (or anyone else) can give me an answer on how this workshop can help me personally, something I couldn't figure out on my own from the outside, I'd be won over. This, btw, is the essence of good salesmanship.

[cacheborn]

Originally Posted by The Unconquered

I think a "whole brain" approach would be preferable (in addition to links off the page or anchors on the page): videos/pics for right-brained folk and text for the left-brained. While I did finally take the time to read the "book ad", I think the text should be edited for conciseness, focused on "What CGW can do for you that Steve's forums/book/blog/other products can't?" Personally, a heartfelt answer to that would get me to sign over my dough.

The only thing that I'm letting hold me back from signing up for CGW is $. I guesstimate the flight/hotel/workshop would cost me $1000 roughly. I'm sure there are ways to cut back on cost, but I know if I can get that emotional hook, I'd be much more inclined to see how I can swing it. I wasn't planning to join Toastmasters last night, for example, but the guy who had been recruiting me gave such a heartfelt Icebreaker that it melted the last fissures in my heart (pun intended). So if Steve (or anyone else) can give me an answer on how this workshop can help me personally, something I couldn't figure out on my own from the outside, I'd be won over. This, btw, is the essence of good salesmanship.

Yes I agree. It should be the right combination of right and left brains or as you said the whole brained approach. Keeping this in mind one can decide which material should be upfront. If the length of the first page is not intimidating for a new user, AND if there is enough material on the page to engage him/her, the job is done.

For me, I decided to attend the last CGW based on Steve's blog and reviews from the attendees. Unfortunately, I could not attend because of visa problems. It also made me realize that a US trip for me involves much more preparation than just buying tickets and I need to be better prepared. So I will attend a future CGW for sure, which one is to be seen.