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-   -   Social life destroyed post-cgw, lol (for the better) (http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/conscious-growth-workshop/43867-social-life-destroyed-post-cgw-lol-better.html)

Kevin V 03-05-2010 10:59 AM

Social life destroyed post-cgw, lol (for the better)
 
Post-CGW I've been disconnecting from (good) friends whom no longer resonate with me (something I realized I needed to do at the workshop) - friends with negative, close-minded mindsets, or complain about things in their life but won't do anything to improve, etc. Also, I started a 30-day trial of no alcohol on Jan 1 (which has extended to 65 days as of today!), so going to bars has no longer been a past time of interest.

As a result, the number of people I hang out with and spend time with has decreased DRASTICALLY. I'm turning 24 this month and most of my friends in my immediate environment are/were into partying/drinking every weekend to escape from their weekly grind of classwork or slave work. Also, CGW spoiled me! It was so awesome to jump into deep conversations within mere minutes of meeting someone new! Now it seems when I meet new people my age, I feel a little more socially awkward because I don't want to talk about The Bachelor, America's Best Dance Crew, or How Much I Hate My Job (made up that TV show:p).

Why experiencing and realizing this is important - I'm rising to action! I'm going to make more time to start attending: meetups for my local Personal Development group on meetup.com, CGW Skype meetups (just added matty!), and more CGW's ( though the next one shares the same days as a life-coaching workshop I want to attend :( )

Gene 03-05-2010 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin V (Post 529951)
Post-CGW I've been disconnecting from (good) friends whom no longer resonate with me (something I realized I needed to do at the workshop) - friends with negative, close-minded mindsets, or complain about things in their life but won't do anything to improve, etc. Also, I started a 30-day trial of no alcohol on Jan 1 (which has extended to 65 days as of today!), so going to bars has no longer been a past time of interest.

As a result, the number of people I hang out with and spend time with has decreased DRASTICALLY. I'm turning 24 this month and most of my friends in my immediate environment are/were into partying/drinking every weekend to escape from their weekly grind of classwork or slave work. Also, CGW spoiled me! It was so awesome to jump into deep conversations within mere minutes of meeting someone new! Now it seems when I meet new people my age, I feel a little more socially awkward because I don't want to talk about The Bachelor, America's Best Dance Crew, or How Much I Hate My Job (made up that TV show:p).

Why experiencing and realizing this is important - I'm rising to action! I'm going to make more time to start attending: meetups for my local Personal Development group on meetup.com, CGW Skype meetups (just added matty!), and more CGW's ( though the next one shares the same days as a life-coaching workshop I want to attend :( )

Congratulations on living the life of choice rather than a life of chance.

I also have made some massive changes after CGW and am currently in Las Vegas to experience the city when I am not attending a CGW. I like the city and find it a good place to be. I will return to Oblong to finish closing on the sale of my house and some other tasks that I need to finish before leaving there.

I expect to return to Vegas in November and stay for six months. How's that for making changes to move to planet B? My wife and my young children also prefer Vegas for part of the year.

I also wanted to tell you how meeting you in the airport and our subsequent conversations helped me as we left Vegas on the same flight. Thank You!

I have been considering attending another CGW and I believe it will not be the one in May as I work consciously to wrap up the unfinished business in Oblong and transition to living in a place of joy personally and geographically.

I hope to see you in person and to both retain and grow the friendship I feel for you.:)

mmartin2009 03-05-2010 10:27 PM

Kevin I'm in the same boat as you! Combined with the fact that I'm moving across the country I feel pretty (physically) alone at the moment. I've already joined a bunch of new meetup groups (I'll have to find a PD one, good idea!), I just hope it's as easy as talking to people at CGW!

Savage 03-05-2010 10:35 PM

Awesome, Kevin -- sounds like you're well on your way to consciously creating a more empowering social environment.

When I was 19, several of my friends were criminals. I was even good friends with a drug dealer. Fortunately I was able to see where that environment was leading me and got out, largely by moving to a new city, making new friends from scratch, and reconnecting with my best old friends.

Sometimes you have to take a step backwards before you can take two steps forward. The new reality you're creating will be so much more "you" than the old one.

I'm really delighted to see that you're making so much progress, especially with dropping alcohol. Nicely done! :)

seeker5 03-06-2010 05:24 AM

That's awesome Kevin!

I've also made some big changes socially since CGW, and I'm loving it!

Kevin V 03-22-2010 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina (Post 530445)
I'm really delighted to see that you're making so much progress, especially with dropping alcohol. Nicely done! :)

I didn't understand why you emphasized "so much" progress when I first read this until now. I'm starting to realize that the more I increase my awareness and positivity levels, the more socially awkward and delusional my actions appear to a majority of lower conscious people in my current environment. I feel this is an experience many people who are on a path of raising their consciousness will encounter.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina (Post 530445)
Sometimes you have to take a step backwards before you can take two steps forward. The new reality you're creating will be so much more "you" than the old one.

Now I feel I can understand your post better because I can sense the experience behind the words of advice. How else can you know about the new reality I'm about to create for myself?! :)

JeremyNoelJohnson 03-23-2010 01:28 AM

I never tire of saying this to young people your age who are making great changes, but at 24, I am very impressed with you. It is interesting how the number of people you used to 'hang out' with decreases drastically when you start making positive shifts in life like the shifts you are making. Keep up the good work, especially with the not drinking alcohol.

Kevin V 03-29-2010 09:17 PM

Thanks JNJ, just trying to progress as soon as I can ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeremyNoelJohnson (Post 544492)
I never tire of saying this to young people your age who are making great changes, but at 24, I am very impressed with you. It is interesting how the number of people you used to 'hang out' with decreases drastically when you start making positive shifts in life like the shifts you are making. Keep up the good work, especially with the not drinking alcohol.


roxyruby 03-30-2010 03:15 AM

If the amount of people you hang out with decreases in relation to how positive, conscious, and aware you are, then I must be doing great cause I have no-one in my city to hang out with! (except for my boyfriend) :D

Which may be why I have to come here so much to socialize

& I opened this thread thinking, oh yes, someone else with no social life. But no, it was about something different to what I was thinking :( :)

All I have to say is that I think you're an amazing person and that you'll go far in life.

You just have that look of success about you.

Cha cha

Kevin V 04-02-2010 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roxyruby (Post 550338)
All I have to say is that I think you're an amazing person and that you'll go far in life.

You just have that look of success about you.

Thank you! I feel if any person truly believes he/she will go far in life, he/she will become a person who will go far in life.

roxyruby 04-03-2010 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin V (Post 552708)
Thank you! I feel if any person truly believes he/she will go far in life, he/she will become a person who will go far in life.

Welcomes :) Very good teaching

Mounds 04-26-2010 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeremyNoelJohnson (Post 544492)
It is interesting how the number of people you used to 'hang out' with decreases drastically when you start making positive shifts in life like the shifts you are making.

I've noticed this in my life lately. I've been actively improving for the past couple years now. It actually is starting to freak me out a bit since I'm not meeting new people. For others that have been through this, does that change? As in, did you find that you eventually met people who are more suited to you?

Savage 04-26-2010 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mounds (Post 571206)
I've noticed this in my life lately. I've been actively improving for the past couple years now. It actually is starting to freak me out a bit since I'm not meeting new people. For others that have been through this, does that change? As in, did you find that you eventually met people who are more suited to you?

What actions have you taken in this area? Which new clubs and organizations did you join? What new places have you started hanging out where you'd expect to meet high-caliber people on a regular basis?

Being passive doesn't go very far in most cases. You will only stay stuck.

Do you at least have a list of the people you'd like to become friends with... or the qualities they possess... or a list of new organizations to join and places to hang out?

Yesterday I had lunch on the Vegas Strip with about 20 friends who work in the self-help field. They all came to Vegas for a Santana concert -- one of the band members ate with us. Many of these friends are millionaires. Did I find them by sitting at home? No, I met most of them by going to leadership retreats in Bermuda and Puerto Rico. I went to places where these kinds of people hang out. I also joined a group they belong to.

If you want new friends, get busy and go outside. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll stagnate.

Mounds 04-26-2010 05:15 PM

I'm easing my way into the pool, so to speak. Two years ago, I joined Big Brothers/Big Sisters where I met one of my best friends, my little brother Liam. Very awesome guy; loves sports and is very bright.
Other than that, I'm in a jiu-jitsu club but you don't get a lot of time for conversation there. I'll probably seek out a chess club or some kind of academics club.
I agree, nothing floats into your lap. To paraphrase Robert Pagliarini, you are never standing still. Your either moving ahead or going backwards :D

Update: Gonna attend a Toastmaster's meeting this week. Wish me luck!

anywhere33 07-14-2010 08:47 PM

I'm reading these experiences from past CGW attendees (maybe it's cheating a little) and I get so excited!!! I'm only a couple hours from getting on the plane to Vegas for CGW #4 and I can't wait! =)

mmartin2009 07-15-2010 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anywhere33 (Post 628499)
I'm reading these experiences from past CGW attendees (maybe it's cheating a little) and I get so excited!!! I'm only a couple hours from getting on the plane to Vegas for CGW #4 and I can't wait! =)

Have a good time. One thing I tried to keep in mind was being present and open-minded during the whole weekend. The changes that can happen are amazing!


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