Trouble finding my true purpose

[Nelson]

I used to have trouble with the idea of purpose in my life. This is because for years I struggled with my belief system. It wasn't until I made a decision that I truly believed in God that I was able to believe in the idea of purpose. Now I believe in purpose and I believed I had found mine. However, now I'm not sure that my purpose is legit. You see, while my purpose feels like it's very close to my heart and ideals it doesn't match up with my goals and actions. When I think of what I want to do with my life, none of these action become one with my purpose.

I wrote my general purpose as "To heighten the presence of God on Earth and in humanity." and my specific purpose "is to help others be happy by finding themselves in God, teaching others about God's glory and how to heighten his presence in their lives. In order to reach as many people as possible and to teach the best way possible I must completely immerse myself in the presence of God. I will create websites, books, videos and other media to spread the presence of God, this will also act as a way provide for my physical needs."

Now in my heart and head this feels like the right thing, but when I think ogf goals to set and what I want in life I think of very self centered ideas - and when I try to set goals aligned with my purpose it feels unnatural.

Any advice on how I should alter my purpose or ideas why I can't seem to align myself with my current purpose?

[Alvin]

Nelson, maybe you could share what self-centered ideas you mean?

[Tobias Zimpel]

In addition to what Alvin already asked...

Originally Posted by Nelson

Now I believe in purpose and I believed I had found mine. However, now I'm not sure that my purpose is legit. You see, while my purpose feels like it's very close to my heart and ideals it doesn't match up with my goals and actions. When I think of what I want to do with my life, none of these action become one with my purpose.

Sounds quite familiar to me. I can't remember having a problem with having a purpose, but I still find it very hard to find my purpose and follow through it.

I just begin to get somewhere close to it by now, I thing, and things are still not very clear. It feels like stumbling through a valley in the woods ad midnight, seing lights in the mist, but when I start to get there, they disappear again...

OK, not that hard, but it felt like that before. Now, I at least see some guiding stars in the sky ;-)

Originally Posted by Nelson

I wrote my general purpose as "To heighten the presence of God on Earth and in humanity." and my specific purpose "is to help others be happy by finding themselves in God, teaching others about God's glory and how to heighten his presence in their lives. In order to reach as many people as possible and to teach the best way possible I must completely immerse myself in the presence of God. I will create websites, books, videos and other media to spread the presence of God, this will also act as a way provide for my physical needs."

Now in my heart and head this feels like the right thing, but when I think ogf goals to set and what I want in life I think of very self centered ideas - and when I try to set goals aligned with my purpose it feels unnatural.

Sounds familiar, also. Are you really sure that creating websites, books, etc. is the right thing for you? If so, wouldn't you follow on that path no matter what? But id looks like that doesn't feel right to you - at least at the moment - anyway.

Originally Posted by Nelson

Any advice on how I should alter my purpose or ideas why I can't seem to align myself with my current purpose?

I'd suggest that you search for other ways to express yourself and your purpose in a way that fits you more.

And if you found something let me know - perhaps it helps me to define my own purpose more clearly.

I think I'm gonne open a thread on that anyways.

Hope I could help you in some way...

Tobias

[pdamoc]

Originally Posted by Nelson

I wrote my general purpose as "To heighten the presence of God on Earth and in humanity." and my specific purpose "is to help others be happy by finding themselves in God, teaching others about God's glory and how to heighten his presence in their lives. In order to reach as many people as possible and to teach the best way possible I must completely immerse myself in the presence of God. I will create websites, books, videos and other media to spread the presence of God, this will also act as a way provide for my physical needs."

Now in my heart and head this feels like the right thing, but when I think ogf goals to set and what I want in life I think of very self centered ideas - and when I try to set goals aligned with my purpose it feels unnatural.

Any advice on how I should alter my purpose or ideas why I can't seem to align myself with my current purpose?

Well... clarity pays!
When I think about my purpose I automatically remember how Bob Proctor put it: Purpose -> Vision -> Goals. That's the order.
Purpose should be generic and... well... look like a purpose...
Vision should be more like the websites and book you are talking about....
Goals... well... learn HTML, read some nice English language books, get a blog and start blabbing, beg for people to criticize your writing (only friends criticize, the rest just ignores you)

Now let's get back to your purpose... "To heighten the presence of God on Earth and in humanity."... this is a very nice purpose but a little bit to generic ... my advice is to use St. Francis of Assisi's advice "Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary, use words." and to make it more personal...

Here is my purpose:
"To live with compassion and love and to heal other by showing them how they can heal themselves"
The fist part is about what (generic) I am (I'm a Christian) it is about how I view the preaching of the Gospel. The second part is about who I want to become (specific)... a healer.

There are so many visions I can chose from in order to fulfill my purpose... Becoming an Aikido teacher is part of the vision I'm building right now so... I joined an Aikido club (specific goal)...

Purpose->Vision->Goals.... keep this structure in mind when you will think about your purpose next time. I believe it will help you just as it has helped me...

[rll63]

"Do not ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive. For what the world needs is more people who have come alive."

Hi everyone. I have been struggling for some time with finding my purpose, my ideal career. When I came across the quote above I thought wow, that makes a lot of sense! I quickly honed in on a career path that I felt would make me come alive; would fill me with enthusiasm! It's a field, a topic that really interests me and I feel would keep me stimulated and happy for the long term.

But, the contribution factor in this career, in the larger scheme of things, seems somewhat trivial. I have this nagging thought that it's selfish.. that pursuing something that is fun, satisfying, and stimulating for me is not what it's about. That what it's really about is going out there and providing a service that REALLY helps people. There are people starving or who live in poverty around the world. There are young kids in our schools that need dedicated teachers. There are people who are in need of healing in so many different areas where I potentially could help if I dedicated myself to getting the skills to help them. I know it would be fullfilling for me but it's not something that when I think about I feel tremendous excitement and joy about. It doesn't bring out the kind of enthusiasm and excitement my first career choice does.

Can anyone relate to this? Anyone in support of this approach to finding your purpose and ideal job. Of doing what turns you on so that you'll be happy which in turn will impact the world in a positive way as a natural outcome of your happiness?

Thanks!

[carney77]

Hello All,
This is my first time in any forum because I just found most of them to be a little dry (in humor and intelligence ); but when I heard that Steve was starting one, well, I just had to be a part! I want to meet you all!

And I have to admit, I jumped in here because you all are talking about Purpose and that is an area in my life that I have been trying to grasp. So, I was glad to hear that I'm not alone in my frustration with discovering a Purpose.

But I think that is where we are all misled. It's not something we have to 'discover'. We already know what it is, or I should say, our inner conscienceness already knows what it is; but we have to quiet our mind (ego) to hear it!

Eckart Tolle talks about the Purpose in all of us in his book, A New Earth. (Great Read! Highly recommended!) He says that people going through the early stages of the awakening process (that's me, and you) are no longer certain what their outer purpose is. "What drives the world no longer drives them [us]." Once we have discovered the inner purpose, then it won't matter what the outer purpose is because it will be in line with Being. (He says it much more eloquently!) I wish I could give you all pointers on how to Be, but I'm still working on that. Start with breathing, and being aware of your breaths.

Go to school, make money, help others--these purposes are great, but to those of us 'waking up', it just doesn't cut it anymore. We know there is more. That's part of the reason why we are here at this forum--to exchange ideas, develop awareness, teach others. We know we are more!

I'm excited about these forums! I feel like we are almost to the point in evolution where something BIG is going to happen! You know, kind of like when the first fish used his flipper to move on the land!

I look forward to exploring this topic more with you all in the days to come!

[songwriter]

Your purpose should be something that the best thing you could do to make the world a better place or so...
What makes me "come alive" is music... but not when I share it with people (performance, they listening to my songs) but only when I play, sing or compose in my home.
Is my purpose related with music then?

[ahimel]

Originally Posted by songwriter

Your purpose should be something that the best thing you could do to make the world a better place or so...
What makes me "come alive" is music... but not when I share it with people (performance, they listening to my songs) but only when I play, sing or compose in my home.
Is my purpose related with music then?

I would guess it's in that field somehow. As someone who's aced tests or made significant life changes on the basis of having the right song in my head at the right time, I would be honored if I could create a piece of music that changed someone's life the way some music has changed mine. So I don't see any reason that you couldn't have a very worthwhile purpose in that area.

As to what that specific purpose is... only you can answer that.

[songwriter]

Originally Posted by ahimel

I would guess it's in that field somehow. As someone who's aced tests or made significant life changes on the basis of having the right song in my head at the right time, I would be honored if I could create a piece of music that changed someone's life the way some music has changed mine. So I don't see any reason that you couldn't have a very worthwhile purpose in that area.

As to what that specific purpose is... only you can answer that.

I get pleasure in writing a song, for instance. But even if I show it and someone likes it very much, I don't have any pleasure... I've known people who has played some of my music with his guitar during hours... but I feel nothing special because of it. I feel much better if I tell a silly joke and they laugh, for instance... and sure my purpose it's not to be a comediant... :-)

[Fortune]

If you cannot find your purpose, maybe the way you look at the world is inaccurate. I cannot say with 100% certainty that "I have found it!" but I did find something new to do that I'm really enjoying. But only after shifting my views to the following:

The purpose of life is simple: to live. That's all. Maybe that sounds a little too simple, but it's actually very profound. Human beings aren't the center of life. In fact, we're absolutely meaningless as far as Earth and even as far as the universe is concerned. One day, there will be no more human beings. This is not good or bad, just the way things are. We are merely insignificant details.

Life, in whichever form, however, will go on. Therefore, to gain the maximum result from our brief existence, we must try and serve the purpose of Life as good as we can. In other words: we must live! Try and get the maximum benefit out of your life. Do whatever it is that you find enjoyable. In the long run none of it will matter anyway, so there's no point in stressing about it. There is nothing you SHOULD do, only things that you CAN do. That is enough to serve Life, and I suppose that is what we call "purpose".

Is this an accurate view of reality? Probably not. But it works for me, and I'm sharing it in the hope that it might work for someone else too.

[Guinevere]

@rll63
I can relate! The things I really love (mostly related to Art, one way or another) seem unimportant compared to hunger, poverty, health issues, etc... But what I've been thinking lately is that maybe I could be confusing urgent with important. Maybe art, spirituality and things like that are important, not in an immediate, urgent, obvioulsy practical sense, but they are important once the basic needs are met, and are what ultimately makes life worthwhile.
But I don't know what career path you meant, so maybe all I said is just nonsense...

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by Guinevere

The things I really love (mostly related to Art, one way or another) seem unimportant compared to hunger, poverty, health issues, etc... But what I've been thinking lately is that maybe I could be confusing urgent with important.

I think you're certainly right. I think that this is a spin on the "Well, a million Protestants can't be wrong": that is to say, hunger and poverty affects lots of people, and thus are the most important things. I think that's the wrong perspective. (I also think I start too many sentences with "I think".)

Hunger is not an issue because millions of people die from starvation. It's an issue because individuals are dying from starvation; to make a dent in it doesn't make it less important.

Two things to think about: (1) six degrees of separation + pay it forward. Everyone's connected, and anything for anyone can eventually help everyone. I'm not imaginative enough to come up with a tiny story to illustrate this, but perhaps someone else can. Being able to smile at the right person at the right time could easily be like a butterfly in China, flapping its wings. (2) Say all of such massive problems were magically solved in one fell swoop: art, spirituality, etc. would still be just as important. Some things are temporal, and can be solved; other things are permanent, and it doesn't matter what state the world is in for them to be important.

[Vinny]

I been having some trouble finding my purpose, and I am waiting. Sometimes your purpose is starring you right in the eyes. Let your purpose find you. Let the universe play its role as you play yours. I hope this helps.

[micth]

yeah im yet to find my purpose... but im only 17 so im in no rush. I think i have to go out into the big bad world collecting data so i can figure out what my passions are

[songwriter]

I've thought about it and noticed a few things.

When I'm in my home and I write a song I think it's great, when I do a one hour piano impromptu, when I play like crazy the guitar or when I sing to the classics I'm in heaven.

But when I do a recording, play and sing in front of people or show my songs and people even like them... I don't like it or I don't feel a thing.

I guess I'm just a selfish guy that all he wants is money for his music and that's all.

But I would pay to do the things I do in my home!.

[RedPanda]

Originally Posted by Vinny

I been having some trouble finding my purpose, and I am waiting. Sometimes your purpose is starring you right in the eyes. Let your purpose find you. Let the universe play its role as you play yours. I hope this helps.

I like this idea. Kind of like finding true love - no matter how hard you look, you won't find it until the time is right.

[songwriter]

I've thought about my purpose.
I've thought it was to be a musician or so but I get no happiness in exposing my music or in performing in front of people, even if they like what I do.
mmm...

Some possible purpose of me could be:

-Be a great musician (composer and performer)

Other one could be:

-Be a great and pro musician (because I get no happiness in seeing my music is liked perhaps I need to win money)

And other:

-Be a great and pro musician with kind of artistic freedom (be a pro musician, playing and singing songs in a way I don't like wouldn't make me happy, I think, even if I win a lot of money)

As you see purpose 3 makes me think purpose 2 is wrong. So I would have to choose between 1 and 3. The thing is when I've tried to be a pro musician with artistic freedom I don't have enjoyed the process.

But I enjoy a lot every progress I make in being a musician, no matter if successful or not.
So I guess my purpose is the first one. "Be a great musician" or so...

That means that it doesn't matter for me if people hears my music or not... or if I make money or not... it sounds strange to me.

I'm gonna do the WANT-CAN-NEED-SHOULD thing.

I WANT to be a great musician (that's true).
I CAN be a great musician (It's the best thing I can do, I think I'm able to do it, some tell me so)
I NEED to be a great musician (well... that's true I can't forget music)
I SHOULD be a great musician (mmm... :-/ does that mean I should be a "only in my home musician", what's the use of that for the world?)

What's the use of a musician that only plays, sings and writes for himself?

Now I'm gonna do the test with the purpose 3
I WANT to Be a great and pro musician with kind of artistic freedom (I'm not sure of wanting it... especially the "pro" word)
I CAN be a great and pro musician with kind of artistic freedom (that's hard to achieve, but is possible)
I NEED to be a great and pro musician with kind of artistic freedom (Well, maybe I need it, other jobs leave me thinking of being a musician but... anyway I'm not sure of wanting it really...)
I SHOULD be a... etc. Well if I think my music is good I should share with people. So yeah, I should be that.

Both Purpose 1 or purpose 3 fail. Purpose 1 one in "I should be a musician (only for myself)" and Purpose 3 in "I want to be a pro musician with kind of artistic freedom".

The key thing is exposure, I don't get happiness because of exposure or by success. Good comments, applause, compliments... don't have an effect in me. Or at least is nothing compared to what I feel when doing music alone.

So, at the moment I've got to choose purpose 1.

Just "be a great musician"

[dorothy hanna]

Hi All,
Steve has an article about finding your purpose in life in 20 minutes. Have any of you done this test? It would probably be of great assistance to help you clarify your purposes in life.

[Fortune]

Originally Posted by songwriter

So, at the moment I've got to choose purpose 1.
Just "be a great musician"

I am a musician, but I don't think music is my purpose. Maybe I should say: "I make music" rather than "I am a musician". It is something I *do*, not necessarily something I *am*. Because the job of musician is not what I identify with, making music cannot be my purpose. It might be a way to *achieve* my purpose, but it is not the goal, just the means.

Music is the *medium* -- the method of making my purpose tangible -- that suits me best right now. I've gone through several other mediums in the past (drawing, computer programming, writing, and a few others) and now I am on the path of music. I have no clue what my purpose is, but I know I won't find it by *thinking*. I do not believe one can find his or her purpose through exercising the mind. It goes beyond what the mind can comprehend.

But if I make my music and let it take me where it wants to go, as long as it feels good, then I'm sure it will lead me to achieve my purpose -- maybe even without ever knowing what it is. It doesn't really matter. And maybe in the future I'll switch to another path again. Who knows...

In other words: stop searching and you will find it. Maybe this will help to put things for you in another light.

[dorothy hanna]

The 20 minute method doesn't involve just thinking. You write at the top of the page' MY PURPOSE IN LIFE', and then you just start writing. Listing things off as they pop into your head. It usually takes 20 minutes, but for some it takes longer. Mine took 1 hour, and 40 minutes. When Steve said, you keep writing until you cry. I was thinking it was going to be a crying with a feeling of frustration of sorts, but when it happened it was totally unexpected, and quite profound. It's not like anyone said, "You must climb mount such and such, in order to even come close to snatching the remotest clue". It's an easy thing.
Perhaps so many are avoiding trying it, because of it's very simplicity. They've got it in their heads that, "NAH! It can't be that easy to find out my PURPOSE IN LIFE". I'm looking for something much HARDER than that. I mean, it's got to be more difficult than that. Afterall, this is my whole purpose in life we're talking about, here. That's huge. Simply writing until I cry? That's silly. Why should I have to cry? I mean. I don't want to have to cry. Crying means I feel bad, doesn't it? Will I feel bad? Don't only girls cry? I'm not a girl. Will I cry like a girl? Won't that mean I'm a woos? I mean, only wooses cry. Right? Right. Now, That's not my thing. I think I'll just rome around in the world for awhile longer, and look, there's a can on the ground. I'll kick it along as I walk, that way it'll look like I'm doing something. As long as I don't have to do that writing things down until I cry, thing."
Try it! You'll like it!

[StevenA]

I'm not so sure that everyone has one built-in purpose. I have numerous ideals engrained into my brain that pull me in different directions from time to time that sort of push me to do things, and as of right now I just try my hardest to flow with them.