What Does Fear Motivation Have to Do With Darkworking?

[Etheleona]

I've just read about Steve's polarity idea. It seemed kind of hokey to me at first, but then I realized how devoting myself to one polarity could give alignment and focus to my life.

I think my path is that of darkworker. It makes sense to me to serve myself, since I am the one thing I take with me everywhere I go. Other people are not always there, but I always am.

However, one thing does not resonate with my personal experience: the idea that darkworking is the alignment toward fear. It seems just the opposite to me. The thought of devoting myself fully to my own development and fulfillment banishes fear. If I am totally committed to serving myself, I can place total faith and trust in myself. I am the maker of my own world, so there is nothing to fear.

If I am completely devoted to serving myself, then I don't have to worry what others think of me. Their opinions don't matter. Social anxiety vanishes in one shot.

I also don't find fear to be a good motivating factor for myself. Whenever I try to motivate myself using fear, anxiety and other negative emotions, it always backlashes. My inner labor union goes on strike. I think it's more consonant with the ethic of self-love to motivate myself with positive reinforcement.

If I think in terms of seeking my own personal excellence and advancement, I realize that fear is nothing but an obstacle and impediment, and I might as well let it go.

As for lightworkers being non-fear based, I've found that in many cases that's not true. The people I characterize as "liberal do-gooders" -- pardon the stereotype, but I've encountered many examples of this category -- are often strongly motivated by fear, guilt and limitation mentality. Their rhetoric contains a lot of alarmism and fear-mongering: people had better buckle down, tighten their belts, and sacrifice their personal interests to the common good, otherwise a lot of bad things will happen -- global warming, mass starvation, nuclear war, etc. The call to selfless self-sacrifice is often based in fear-ridden doom-mongering, as can be seen in many historical events of this kind. "How can you think of yourself at a time like this?"

When I think of myself as totally safe and secure, and know that ultimately nothing can ever harm me, then I feel free to go for what I want and fulfill my desires. I have no need to serve others in order to "earn" peace and safety, because I already have those things in myself. I can go for the gusto, be free to take risks, because I know that whatever happens, the essential me is eternal and indestructible. Since life is abundant, not scarce, I can take what I want without having to worry that others might not get their share. I know there is enough for all, so I might as well get mine first.

When I was a young child, I lived in this state of complete security and freedom most of the time. I was a born darkworker, in the literal sense, and I consider this the time in life when I was closest to being my true, essential self. Then, as I got older, I became sidetracked by fear, guilt and anxiety motivation absorbed from society, and came to fear that my darkworker tendencies were "wrong". This led me away from my true self. I feel that my path now is to get back to what I truly am, to the person I was in my earliest years -- and learn to bring that quality into my life now, integrate it into my existence as a mature adult.

I'm curious what people think of all this. How do you think fear motivation does (or doesn't) relate to being a darkworker?

[Amandaaa]

If I think in terms of seeking my own personal excellence and advancement, I realize that fear is nothing but an obstacle and impediment, and I might as well let it go. ... I can go for the gusto, be free to take risks, because I know that whatever happens, the essential me is eternal and indestructible.

...i don't see anything wrong with that^... being fearless and courageous is definitely a good thing.

people had better buckle down, tighten their belts, and sacrifice their personal interests to the common good,

*a lightworker isn't sacrificing their personal interests-- because their interest is the common good. they have a genuine desire to help other people... so they're actually feeding their interests, which is very fulfilling and rewarding.

I can place total faith and trust in myself. I am the maker of my own world, so there is nothing to fear.

*i think one could argue that a darkworker might pretend to be self-sufficient because he's afraid of putting too much trust in other people... or afraid of giving too much, and getting nothing in return. it could almost be seen as a form of Narcissism... and like the Narcissist, he might have a deep subconscious fear of disapproval, criticism, inadequacy, getting hurt, and things like that. he might have a grandiose image of himself, developing this illusion of imperturbability...seeing others as being inferior, and unworthy of his time and effort. a darkworker might even be dehumanized, because he may be unable to feel true emotion and intimacy...
people are only valuable to him as long as they fulfill his need for adulation & positive reinforcement.

and all of this might be rooted in an underlying fear that the world is a cruel and dangerous place... other people could potentially cause him pain and discomfort; and therefore, he trusts no one but himself.

soooooo, a psychologist might say that being a "darkworker" is a defense mechanism in itself. this is his way of assuaging his own insecurities and keeping himself from feeling vulnerable.
his inflated ego and pursuit of power could just be a way of masking his own depression, anxiety, sensitivity, and fear.




(i'm not saying that this is what i believe... i'm just saying that it could easily be argued that both darkworkers and lightworkers have a fear-based mentality.
...and the opposite could easily be argued as well.)

[Etheleona]

a lightworker isn't sacrificing their personal interests-- because their interest is the common good. they have a genuine desire to help other people... so they're actually feeding their interests, which is very fulfilling and rewarding.

Yes, and sometimes I feel that way too. But it's not my primary or main interest. I feel that the darkworker path is right for me because I'm a natural introvert and loner -- a "geek" really. For the most part, other people are something I can take or leave. I am content and happy with a computer, books and solitude.

The way I personally understand it, polarization is about "tiebreaking". It's a way to make decisions when two motives conflict. If I set "doing the best for me" as my first priority, then I know what to do in those particular cases when my needs or desires conflict with those of others. This need not necessarily happen frequently, and often there can be a compromise; but sometimes not, and those are situations or issues in which polarization is useful.

*i think one could argue that a darkworker might pretend to be self-sufficient because he's afraid of putting too much trust in other people... or afraid of giving too much, and getting nothing in return [...]

Yes, it's certainly possible for a darkworker to be motivated this way, just as it's possible, as I pointed out above, for lightworkers to be motivated by fear of "bad things happening if we don't save the world" ((very common in certain political communities, from what I've seen).

I don't think it's true in my own case, though. I have no problem trusting people; I trust a lot of people in fact: my family, friends, people in the neighborhood, etc. I'm just a natural loner who likes being one.

Anyway, thanks for replying. This sure is a fun and interesting list.

[openeyes]

One of the polarity articles talked about darkworkers using fear as fuel for growth. Likewise I see fear a sign for an area of my life needing additional focus/development. In the past if I came across something that scared me or made me uncomfortable, I immediately set about conquering that issue. Needles made me light-headed for years, since a bad experience with them when I was a few years old. Finally a few months ago I decided it was uncharacteristic of me to be squeamish about anything, so I set about giving blood until it was no longer a problem. Last time rather than it leaving me feeling faint I bounded out with energy and rode off on my bicycle. An earlier trial was simply to ask people out, until eventually I became perfectly comfortable with initiating interactions with anyone that interested me (as a friend or otherwise).

I largely try to engineer my life so that there are fewer things I need fear happening, learning how to enjoyably bolster my health, sharpen my driving skills, self defense, and simply making a point of being aware of my surroundings. Were I to build a house I'd go for something like a monolithic dome, so I needn't worry about fire, hurricanes, earthquakes, or whatever else nature may come up with. For locks I'd use the thus far unpickable dual sided medeco deadbolt in doors with sufficiently sturdy frames that it'd be difficult to break one down without a battering ram. It needn't cost much more than a regular house to produce a cozy fortress, something that can be beautiful and welcoming to all who are invited (there'd most certainly be a nice garden and fruit trees). On the flip side one could choose to have nothing to protect, which can provide quite a bit of freedom. I simply do what I can to maximize the benefit: risk ratio (not being afraid of taking risks that may be worthwhile in some way).

In the event that something "bad" does happen in my life, I operate with the view (based on years of experience) that somehow things always turn out fine. Several months ago I realized upon arriving at class that I'd forgotten the key to lock up my bicycle. I could have gone back to my apartment, but then I'd be late for taking a quiz. I decided to simply leave the bike outside, letting go of the situation and accepting whatever may happen to it, and knowing that if it were stolen I'd simply build or buy another. Happily, the bike was still there waiting for me when I got out I still use a U-lock when I can though.

[Amandaaa]

For the most part, other people are something I can take or leave. I am content and happy with a computer, books and solitude.

same here.

i can be a very social person, but at the same time, i could go a week without speaking to anyone and be perfectly content.
it's weird.


but anyway, i'm glad that you don't feel as if you're motivated by fear.

it sounds like you're happy and headed down the right path, and that's all that matters.

[Etheleona]

openeyes:

Hi! Nice to meet you. Do you consider yourself a darkworker?

I largely try to engineer my life so that there are fewer things I need fear happening, learning how to enjoyably bolster my health, sharpen my driving skills, self defense, and simply making a point of being aware of my surroundings.

You sound to me like you're employing the strategy of defensive pessimism. Defensive pessimists are good troubleshooters who look for what could go wrong with a situation and take steps to prevent it.(Article here.)

I think this is a good idea, although I don't think it's necessary to actually feel fear or worry to employ this strategy. One could simply adopt a calm, analytical state.

In the event that something "bad" does happen in my life, I operate with the view (based on years of experience) that somehow things always turn out fine.

You seem to be using defensive pessimism in situations when you know you can take specific action, and optimism otherwise. A good synthesis of the two, I think.

[openeyes]

Originally Posted by Etheleona

openeyes:

Hi! Nice to meet you. Do you consider yourself a darkworker?

A lot of it fits, though I won't say I entirely agree with Steve's depiction of it, as he readily admits that his writing on it is colored by his lightsider orientation. I wouldn't go around telling many people that I'm a "darkworker" because doing so would likely decrease their interest in being of use to me. Rather I'd say I'm focused on improving my little piece of Earth.

More than anything else, I'm a collector of experiences. I do volunteer work and have donated blood in the past, but such things are largely done for my own experience and for the feeling of joy/power of being able to do something.

Whatever good I do, it's oriented to improving the world I live in personally. It needn't improve everyone's lives, but I do actively focus on improving the lives of people I'm regularly exposed to, as I enjoy living in a beautiful, highly functional environment.

[ethereal]

Hehe, I think it's best to just do away with darkworker and lightworker polarity labels, and just use love and fear. You can either do things out of love, or out of fear. That's all that really matters.

And the key distinction, is to notice that desire is actually motivated by fear, by implicit lack. Love on the other hand, is not motivated by anything but itself, and it sustains itself eternally, because Love is the Truth of Reality and who we really are.

That's all that really matters. The thing about STO (service to others) is that it is based on the higher truth that we are all One and we are Love, and so it is inherently more truthful and love-based. STS is based on the "truth" that we are separate individual human beings, and reinforces the idea of serving ourselves separate from serving our One Self, and so it is inherently weaker and more fear-based. But the underlying principle is really just fear vs. love, and if you get that, then nothing more needs to be said

[Akashic_Librarian]

ethereal:

And the key distinction, is to notice that desire is actually motivated by fear, by implicit lack. Love on the other hand, is not motivated by anything but itself, and it sustains itself eternally, because Love is the Truth of Reality and who we really are.

What is the difference between loving myself, and loving others?


Looking at what you write, you are obviously biased twoards love, but you arn't on a level where you see both pathways as equally valid. I don't know if I am, but I have glimpsed it, and I can see how both pathways, service to self, and service to others, can benefit everyone, including yourself.

Well thats my opinion anyway.

[Sam988]

Originally Posted by ethereal

And the key distinction, is to notice that desire is actually motivated by fear, by implicit lack.

Yes that's exactly it. DWs are motivated by the fear that they won't get what they want, and the consequences of not getting what they want. That acts as a HUGE motivator (as i can know very well, since i inclined to DW).

This motivation will lead the DW to do whatever it takes to be successful (if his awareness is lower, he will be able to do evil things) on achieving his goals.

For me, this source of motivation is the strongest one, that's why i choose it, but other people will prefer using the LW's source of motivation, which is unconditional love. And thats ok, becase it works better for them.