societies perception

[karlos768]

apollogies i am in a very analytical state, and have allot to say today, ( i think this is my biggest sucssecion of post's and new threads). but

Has any body here ever experienced a kind of supression of confidence to express themselve's freely due to fear of misinterpretation or rejection by society?????

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by karlos768

Has any body here ever experienced a kind of supression of confidence to express themselve's freely due to fear of misinterpretation or rejection by society?????

It all depends on what you want to say or "express" as you put it...

If what you want to say is not accepted by society... unless you are looking for trouble, you should keep it to yourself... otherwise, you should feel free to say almost anything that you want...

Maybe if you gave us more indication on what it is that you want to express... we could give you a more enlightened opinion...
.

[karlos768]

well i am least offensive person you would ever meet
and found the looking for trouble comment very judgemental which demonstrates my concerns
sorry if thats my own wrongful interpretation, i dont mean to instigate any bad feling at all, i do appreciate any advice i recieve i would be greatfull for more advice as i dont know many people as deep as myself and am only 20 i find socialising more of an act than a hobbie which i belive it should be

thanks karlos

[karlos768]

also it may have allot to do with my own lack of congruence, but like i say im not sure

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by karlos768

and found the looking for trouble comment very judgemental

karlos... I never said that "you" were looking for trouble... I said, "unless you are looking for trouble," which was an hypothetical statement... and not an expressed opinion concerning you..
.

[karlos768]

i'm sorry this is a problem that i have, i have supressed myself for so many years that i suppose this is the way i have become its depresing but its the norm (habituation) you see i had considered your view on marajuana in a previous post of mine or some one else's i cant remember, and assumed perhaps you were strongly against the substance and against recreational users such as is my current cannabis using status, and perhaps tared me with the same brush with which i ASUMED u potentialy brush marajuana users with, like i said its my fault and would aperciate further assitance sorry for the complexity but these events are everday reoccuring struggles for me.

i must add i was hoping you in particular would reply as i have witnessed the help you have provided for many of us lost souls brought together by wonder that is stevepavlina.com apollogies again for my lack of correct context, interpretation, whatevere the problem maybe

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by karlos768

i must add i was hoping you in particular would reply as i have witnessed the help you have provided for many of us lost souls

OK karlos… I’ll give it another try…

First of all… almost everyone is afraid of rejection… and that is the main reason that people do not take action and do something with their lives…

You see, most people think that others know more than they do… that they may be smarter than they are… and if you say or do anything you will be judged by others…

The fear of rejection is a condition that most people will fight all their lives… and that very few will conquer…

So, how do you fight this fear of rejection…???

First is by acknowledging the fact that most people really don’t want to judge you… they are too busy thinking about what impression “they” are having on you…

Second… try to create a better “self-image” for yourself by focusing on your “good side” and viewing the less desirable side as opportunities for improvement rather than as character flaws…

And, lastly… always remember that you are unique… there is no one else like you in the whole wide world… and who you are is perfect… with all your qualities and shortcomings…

Hope that this helps… and the very best of luck to you…
.

[karlos768]

that makes alot of sense and explaints alot of behavour that i have recognized among some friends and past friends, nice one, thanks

[Mark Lapierre]

No advice from me since all that I'd say has been said by Shamou.

But I just thought I'd mention that most of the fear of rejection or misinterpretation that I experience is directed to specific people, not society as a whole. I've gone through a number of periods of flouting societies guidelines and barely cared at all. But whenever there was someone specific whose opinion I cared about, well, different story there...

[ethereal]

I think the key thing here, is that it's not society's perception hampering you, but your own projections of perception onto society that is blocking you. They don't exist in reality, they are only illusions that you are holding onto.

Thus, the problem is within you. Which is a good thing, because that also means the solution is within you as well. You're making certain assumptions about how society will react to your behavior, which may or may not be true. Those assumptions, through LoA or SR, will keep attracting the situations to correspond with it. Figure out whether they really are true or not. And even if they are, there shouldn't be any problems going against society -- perhaps you're holding assumptions about how you will feel or what the consequences are, if society unfairly misinterprets you or criticizes you?

The illusions run layers deep, and it's a constant process of deep inner work to unroot these unconscious beliefs. Have compassion for where you are right now, and keep persevering; it'll all work out someday