10 Rules of Life

[UHF]

Hello,

A few years ago I started trying to come up with rules or truisms about life that were solid and hopefully applicable to everyone. If you search for 'rules of life', there are various lists of sayings that seem to be about lowering your expectations of life. I wanted to find the things that were the 'kernel' of life. There just happens to be ten of them.

Anyway I'm posting them here just to get them out into the world. Perhaps they're daft or flawed, perhaps they'll give you ten seconds of amusement:

1. Freedom is the most important thing in life.
2. Never make assumptions.
3. Look for something and you'll find it.
4. You'll end up regretting the things that you don't do, not the things you do.
5. Complacency is costly.
6. Everything is a compromise.
7. When in doubt, do nothing.
8. A life without risk is a life not worth living.
9. The difficult things in life are the things worth doing.
10. Life is partly what happens to you, but mostly how you react to it.

I wonder if 8 and 9 are too similar, I like them separate.

So there you have it! Lose no more sleep wondering about the problems and mysteries of life! All solved!

Simon

[Michael Chui]

I hope you don't take this criticism too harshly, but I thought I'd provide a response.

Originally Posted by UHF

There just happens to be ten of them.

I'd put the estimate closer to 1 or 2.

Originally Posted by UHF

Freedom is the most important thing in life.

People who have been on the receiving end of my recent spate of posts will know I strongly disagree with this. Freedom is the sanctuary of the eternally transient. It is certainly the most important means in life, but it is never an end.

Originally Posted by UHF

Never make assumptions.

Impossible. Better would be "Always find time to discover and question assumptions. Respect others who do as well."

Originally Posted by UHF

Look for something and you'll find it.

Completely agree. Of course, this is both positive and negative, but it's nevertheless true.

Originally Posted by UHF

You'll end up regretting the things that you don't do, not the things you do.
Complacency is costly.

I'm not sure how these are different. Elaborate?

The former seems to suggest a truism that I like, "Ask for forgiveness, not permission."

Originally Posted by UHF

Everything is a compromise.

What did you compromise for that decidedly uncompromising statement?

Originally Posted by UHF

When in doubt, do nothing.
A life without risk is a life not worth living.

These don't work terribly well together.

Originally Posted by UHF

The difficult things in life are the things worth doing.

That's not true. There are some things in life that are worth doing and very easy. The caveat is that you'll forget them immediately.

I would rephrase this to: "Challenge yourself."

Originally Posted by UHF

Life is partly what happens to you, but mostly how you react to it.

Entirely too external for my taste.

Life is not what happens to you, or what happens after something happens to you, but rather, what you do, regardless of what happens to you. It's not reactive so much as proactive.

Life is the capacity to wield power, and power is the capability to cause change. To live is to act, and to act is to transform. Yourself, the world, the future.

I would rephrase it to something that combines the idea of "action" with the idea of "life".

Originally Posted by UHF

There just happens to be ten of them.

And I said, I'd put the estimate closer to 1 or 2.

I got the distinct feeling that people would ask me, so I thought I'd answer the question pre-emptively.

1. You Are the Universe.
2. Know Thyself.

Everything else follows.

[Dan.Linehan]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

1. You Are the Universe.
2. Know Thyself.

Everything else follows.

1. You Are the Universe.
2. Do Your Best.

YouTube - You are the universe

[Thunder Warrior]

8 and 9 aren't similar!
Something that you find difficult in your life doesn't mean it is risky.
Yet again something risky doesn't have to be difficult.

As for 4. you are 100% right!!!!!!!
I most regret things i should have done but didn't!!!!!

10. right again.People don't judge you by what they say to you but how you react to that!

" 7. When in doubt, do nothing" i wouldn't stick to that if i were you.

I wish you all the best !

[BadBilly]

Here is my latest favorite. Don't know who to attribute it to.

"You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

BB

[Nicholls]

Originally Posted by UHF

1. Freedom is the most important thing in life.
2. Never make assumptions.
3. Look for something and you'll find it.
4. You'll end up regretting the things that you don't do, not the things you do.
5. Complacency is costly.
6. Everything is a compromise.
7. When in doubt, do nothing.
8. A life without risk is a life not worth living.
9. The difficult things in life are the things worth doing.
10. Life is partly what happens to you, but mostly how you react to it.

As lists go this is not a bad one, it certainly is an improvement on the 10 commandments . I disagree with "When in doubt, do nothing". I would say the opposite. Consider how often you are 100% certain that something will work out? If you are a reasonable person you are always in doubt to some extent and by your rules you must do nothing.

You could then get into arguments about what is reasonable doubt, but really if you are in doubt it is always better to take some action then no action. No action means you are standing still waiting for something to happen to you, an action means you are being proactive. Even if you are going in the wrong direction at least you will one day realise it is the wrong direction and turn back the other way. If you never act in the first place you will go nowhere.

I think you probably agree with me, especially seeing as you say "You'll end up regretting the things that you don't do, not the things you do." i would say you regret the things you don't do more then the things you do do, but same idea really.

This could be quite entertaining: how do people feel about each making up a list. Obviously there could be more then 10 ingredients to a good life, but let's narrow it down to 10 so we are all on a level playing field. Anyone feel like trying it? I'll begin mine now.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Nicholls

Anyone feel like trying it? I'll begin mine now.

1. Be present
2. Be grateful
3. Be connected
4. Generate joy
5. Generate love
6. Generate freedom
7. Move
8. Get wet
9. Be fully expressed
10. chocolate mousse royale from 31 flavors

[Liara Covert]

I appreciate ideas that provoke self-reflection, but I wouldn't necessarily limit learning to a specific list of rules. Its useful to realize guides tend to embed value judgments. Recognizing and learning to step outside them teaches us a lot about ourselves.

In general, since we're always changing, it pays to be willing to accept some things defy what the person we used to be would've assumed to be logical.

"The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or fears or wishes rather than with their minds." ~Will Durant

[UHF]

Hello again,

Some more explanation about my rules of life. Don't read the word 'rules' as meaning regulations, they are guidances and I really do think they are helpful to everyone's lives.

None of these are contradictory to one another. Also I should point out that words such as risk and difficult are relative to different situations and people. One person's risk is another's chat to a stranger. I've tried to keep the 'rules' terse and not long-winded. I want them to be instantly understandable and interpretable as I find many people's ideas somewhat wishy-washy: 'Be nice to people', 'Be profoundly joyful...' etc. I don't want simply ideals.

1. Freedom is the most important thing in life.

I can't think of anything better than choice. Some people would say love, happiness, joy etc. I feel that freedom encompasses all of it. There are many different types of freedom however and all are compromises.

2. Never make assumptions.

A great rule of life and a common one. An ideal perhaps in some sense. Some would say 'well you have to assume some things, like gravity', yes but Einstein didn't. It isn't possible to totally live to this rule, but if it encourages questioning of assumptions, then it's done it's job. I think 'Question assumptions' is better.

3. Look for something and you'll find it.

It probably exists, other people are probably looking for it too. I think many people would see this as intention manifestation. It might be hard work finding it. Perhaps you'll end up creating it yourself.

4. You'll end up regretting the things that you don't do, not the things you do.

When you look back on your life, I guarantee that the number of times you say 'I wish I had...' will outweigh the number of times you say 'I wish I hadn't...'. This will certainly become the case, the older you get.

5. Complacency is costly.

Complacency as in taking things and people for granted. Complacency as in not getting your car serviced. Complacency as in ignoring or agreeing with what you feel is wrong. Complacency as in living to regret the things in life you didn't do. Complacency as in not questioning assumptions.

6. Everything is a compromise.

Think of a situation where there is absolutely no kind of compromise. If you think you've found one, then consider it more widely. Compromises can be very subtle. Think of knock-on effects. A phrase I came up with once is 'There is no progress without destruction' (destruction isn't always bad either).

7. When in doubt, do nothing.

A lot of people don't understand what I meant by this. But what else is a better course of action? By nothing I don't mean ignore or forget it. There is often a better, different or more informed choice. It's basically about allowing time and further consideration: 'Look before you leap' is a similar thing. It doesn't disclude trusting intuition. Get more information.

8. A life without risk is a life not worth living.

Risk is a relative concept and not necessarily pertaining to danger. Risk can be talking to someone you like, giving up a job, publishing your own ideas about life. This is quite similar to 'Complacency is costly' thinking about it. You must define what is risk for yourself.

9. The difficult things in life are the things worth doing.

I wondered if this was like the previous, but I think the message is different. The fact you are reading (or hearing) this now is because men and women over the last few hundred years have tried and failed and succeeded in doing what was difficult. The easy things in life are what you're already doing without complaint or hesitation. Difficult can be risky, but a life without risk... In business, the market always rewards the most risky ventures that succeed.


10. Life is partly what happens to you, but mostly how you react to it.

You really can't control everything that happens to you in your life. It's not written anywhere that life must be fair. You can control your perception and actions within it. 'It's your life' is the shorter message. Perhaps it's better phrased as 'Life is partly what your given, but mostly what you do with it. Think of wheelchair athletes and Helen Keller. This man comes from the city where I currently live, and sums up the rule perfectly.

[Freelancer]

8. Get wet

Do you mean what I think you mean?

In that case, a advice all the ladies should take to heart !

[HowlingDao]

I would take it down to 2

1) Seek Joy
2) Treat others as u with to be treated

Everything else is derivative

[joelyle]

I have found a good deal of joy in moving from a fixed mind-set. As the perspective changes: beliefs change. The attributes I have striven for in recent years happen to have come from seemingly adverse situations (these have brought a good deal more growth than the so-called "happy-times"): flexibility, honesty, appreciation, non-attachments. What I consider often is that if we look for something in a particular way and at a particular time (tunnel-vision): we might miss an important discovery/relationship/advancement. We can only see what we believe is possible.

[seeker5]

Here are some of my rules of life:

1. You are either busy growing or you are busy dying.
(By growing, I mean getting better, by dying, I mean getting worst)

2. Persistence is of extreme importance to getting anything of worth accomplished.

3. Discipline = Freedom. Undisciplined = Slavery to your moods, to your emotions, to other people's desire.

4. There is so much more to the world then meet the eyes.

5. The best way to predict your future is to look at your past. Therefore, change your past by building a new one.

[Michael Chui]

Re: 1st rule: there are no rules

You can apply this to itself.

[seeker5]

As I was sorting stuff from my recent move, I found some additional "rules" that I had written on my wall at my old place two years ago or so. They mainly dealt with how to handle a huge amount of adversity.

1. "The quicker I make a decision and take action, the quicker I can tell what works or doesn't and move on"

2. "If I fall down, it's ok. Now get back up as quick as possible"

3. "What can I do about it?" -> "What is the best thing I can do about it?". Questions to ask when dealt with a situation I don't like.

4. "This, too shall pass"

5. "I shall not worry, everything will work out"

[honeybee]

Originally Posted by Angela

1. Be present
2. Be grateful
3. Be connected
4. Generate joy
5. Generate love
6. Generate freedom
7. Move
8. Get wet
9. Be fully expressed
10. chocolate mousse royale from 31 flavors

This list is very similar to a list I recently wrote when I was thinking about my own personal truths/purpose in life.
With the following exceptions:
#8, Not sure exactly what you're specificially referring to, but I do like to get wet... especially if it involves playing in the rain.
#10, not in my list, but I whole heartedly agree! Yum.

I agree with some of the above posters who have mentioned the contrast between 'ideals,' 'rules,' and 'guiding concepts' in life. It can be hard to articulate these things without feeling like you're oversimplifying, but at the same time, the exercise itself is very valuable. I think simply being able to articulate and examine what you believe to be life's pervading truisms is what creates the momentum for the next stage of growth and understanding.

Keep it up everyone, there are great wisdoms here...

[Shamou]

Here's mine...

1. Be grateful to be alive… with the correct attitude… nothing else matters much…

2. Appreciate those who are dear and near to you… and for god’s sake… given them the space to be who they are…

3. Validate every day… you may not have all that many left…

4. Be an example… bet part of the solution and not part of the problem…

5. Life is too short to be small… don’t ever forget that God has not seen fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligence…

6. Whatever you do… make it fun… it may take a little effort and imagination… but well worth the effort…

7. Be passionate… best antidote against depression and that “Blah” feeling… makes you so much more productive and effective…

8. Don’t dwell on what you cannot change… then you won’t experience stress, fear and frustration…

9. Focus on the here and now… the past is gone… the future uncertain… the now is all we really have…

10. Don’t take yourself too seriously… you’re just a link in the evolution chain anyway…

.

[Dive Bomb]

Originally Posted by BadBilly

Here is my latest favorite. Don't know who to attribute it to.

"You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

BB

That quote is from Wayne Gretzky! The great one!

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Dive Bomb

Wayne Gretzky! The great one!

You say that because you have not seen Janet's (his wife) nude pic in Playboy Magazine... then you would say that "she" was the great one...

.

[Master Fine]

Hi,
I thought you would enjoy hearing a different perspective:

Here's the list proposed by you, commented. It's all for amusement, you have a nice list otherwise.

Freedom is the most important thing in life.
More important than freedom is the willingness to fight for it.

Never make assumptions.
Always make assumptions, because the reality is probabilistic.

Look for something and you'll find it.
See above. In reality you will assume you found what you were looking for. We understand the value of what we have much better when we lose something. Therefore I propose: "Assume you lose something to understand what it really means to you"

You'll end up regretting the things that you don't do, not the things you do.
This will keep one busy for a lifetime catching small fish.

Complacency is costly.
Complacency is free.

Everything is a compromise.
Freedom is NOT a compromise (back to the first statement!)

When in doubt, do nothing.
When lost in the middle of the ocean, navigate in any direction and you have a chance to land somewhere. Don't do anything and you will die for sure.

A life without risk is a life not worth living.
400 people die every year just falling from bed, only in USA. Everybody sleeps, therefore everybody lives a worthy life.

The difficult things in life are the things worth doing.
There are no simple things in life if you want to do them right.

Life is partly what happens to you, but mostly how you react to it.
Honestly, I don't understand the idea here, and I cannot propose a different view. Or maybe: Life is diverse. As views about life are, as well!

[MercuryLime]

(to thread-starter) I liked virtually all of them. Good job coming up with those. Everyone can complain, but those ten form a congruent list that rings true.

I felt like #4 and #7 were contradictory, though. You're always going to have doubt. I would say, when feeling GUILT, don't do it. Although that, like everything else, may be compromising it a little.

[Dan.Linehan]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

II'd put the estimate closer to 1 or 2.

1. You Are the Universe.
2. Know Thyself.

Everything else follows.

1. You're invincible.
2. Do your best.

Everything else follows.