On purpose, blogging, lightworker syndrome and being a self help junkie

[Tobias Zimpel]

Hi,

this might become the next "help me, I can't find my purpose!"-Thread, and starting with another lengthy posting to explain my exact situation.

I'm reading tons of self help material (mostly on Steves site lately, but I also have dozens of books on that topic), and I'm really enthusiastic on reading it and talking about it - but when it comes to applying what I've read, I'm always failing. I make straight and simple plans for things I don't really want, or things I do want but don't wanna pay the prize to get there in terms of time and effort to put in. So I have very little results to show in my life.

I believe that the mein reason for not acting is that there is no powerfull-enough 'why', no real reason for me to go for it

But then... what to go for? Things like decluttering, health and fitness, time management and self discipline are important for me to be able to do ...well, do do what?

I have a strong urge to help people in some way, and lots of them. 4 years ago I had the dream of starting my own personal development website where I would publish articles, book reviews, and other materials to help people. 2 years ago I was into giving online seminars on things like time management and building habits to improve life - topics I was struggling with at that moment and have not improved much until now myself. And right now I'm into blogging on topics like personal development, purpose, and the future of mankind - but it still doesn't feel right.

It's painful for me to see how people are struggling in life, how they are constantly blaming others instead of doing what they can do to improve their situation. They don't see a direction in life other than to survive.

But it's even more painful to embrace the fact that I'm not feeling any better. My greatest wish is to find a purpose, something that fills me with enthusiasm and fills my heart, that gives direction to my life and makes it worthwhile - but that is also my greatest fear.

I always believed that my purpose must be something around helping other people in terms of personal development. Then I have this clear picture in my mind as to in what direction humanity as a whole is heading to, what life could be like in 500 or 1000 years if everything works out well. I deeply want to dedicate my life to that vision, and to nudge people in that direction.

But then, I don't see how I should do it, and do it in a way so I could make a living from it. Working from my strenghts would again point me into blogging again, but what I would realy like is not writing long monologues as Steve does, but discussing the topics I'm interested in with other people, getting into the dialogue and building a community of creators - and still make a living from it in some way - and one in abundance if I'm free to choose.

I'm feeling like inside a huge ball of wool, with more knots all over and around my body than I can possibly open, and no idea what I can do to improve my situation. I'm into debt and my income isn't even enough to pay for my monthly expenses. But I can't motivate myself to do some job I don't enjoy just for the money - sooner or later I'm getting depressed to a level my whole life gets out of control to a point where it's a notable accomplishment to get up and dressed before I have to go to bed again (and I mean that liteally).

Deep inside my heart I know that everything will turn out good, and that I will have success if I only find out what I have to give to others and how to do it in the most valuable way. What is the gift I was born with, and how can I share it with others? Or as Steve said it in his post about lightworkers syndrome: What is my responsibility? And how should I get started? Am I ready to do so?

I'm struggling with this exact issues for years now, and don't seem to make any progress towards a solution - and in terms of my financial situation things have gotten worse on the way. And if I don't chance something, if I don't get out of my block and moving, I see my whole life spiralling downwards.

I believe that the solution is standing right in front of me, waving and calling "Here I am", but I seem to overlook it. Perhaps someone else can point me to it?

TIA to everyone who tries to help me or shares some experiences with me.

[Shamou]

Hello Tobias Zimpel...

I have seen what you are talking about a great many times... people will study PD and learn all these wonderful techniques for succeeding yet are unable to use those techniques effectively for themselves...

So, what they try to do is to teach those techniques to others... it simply does not work because people see right through you... you have not yet bought what you are trying to sell... it's a bit like a bald man trying to tell you how to grow hair...

Now, I can tell you in three words how to turn your life around... achieve what you want to achieve and be who you want to be... and those three words are: TAKE MASSIVE ACTION."

Until you can get yourself to "take massive action" you are no better than a CD or a hard disk... you have stored a tremendous amount of information... but it's not going anywhere...

How do you "take massive action...???"

Before you go to bed... you write down ten things that you will do the next day toward attaining your goals... and the next day... you do it... and no excuse... then, you repeat the process every day until you have achieved all that you want and became who you wanted to be...

For now, forget the teaching... heck, you won't follow your own advice... why should anybody else do it...???

Hope I was not too harsh on you... and I certainly wish you the very best...

.

[Freelancer]

The way I see it you already have a great deal of direction in your life;
You know that you want to help other people.
You know that you want to contribute to the greater good and direction of the planet.
You have a vision in what direction humanity should move towards.

You have all those things but not quite a clear cut picture of what immediate action to take. What I think you should do is the following;
Take action in the direction of your vision.

Don't worry yet about the money, right know your in a state of analysis paralysis (thats what its looking like anyway) and your first priority is getting out of that. To do that you need to take action and preferably MASSIVE action as shamou so elegantly said.

Can you tell me some more about your vision and how you see the world in 500-1000 years?

[Tuumble]

Hi Tobias,

I was interested in your post as I can very much identify with your position. One thing you may like to try in terms of gaining some focus is by talking to yourself, not literally, but in type.

If you have an online messenger service, set up a second account and write a message to yourself saying exactly what you feel. Be your own alter ego.

Ask those difficult to answer questions of yourself and then say: 'How would you achieve that?' and keep asking questions until the picture becomes clearer.

Just for an example I will write a few lines for myself here...

----------------

So Jeremy what is your duathlon training plan for tomorrow?

Well, I'm quite busy tomorrow because I've got to go to Bretton and deliver the job paperwork first thing and in the evening Jo is going out.

Yes, so what is your plan?

As my training includes cycling I can bike to Bretton so that's 3 miles and from there I can cycle direct into work which will be another 3. It will also mean I have to cycle home which adds another 4. That's 10 in total on the bike.

OK, so what do you have to do to make that actually happen

I have to be up earlier.

How much earlier?

Well If I meet Heather onsite at 8:15am I can deal with what I have to do by 8:30am and still be in work for 9:00am. That means I'll have to leave home at 7:55am. That's 35 minutes earlier than normal so I will set my alarm clock accordingly.

So what about the running?

That will be tough to get that in tomorrow because Jo is out in the evening.

What would you have to do to get a run scheduled?

Ummm, I get up even earlier?

Is that realistic?

It's possible but I don't really want to.

How could you achieve the Bretton delivery and still do the run.

I could get Jo to drive over once the children are at school. It's only delivering paperwork and I don't think she has anything on in the morning. It'll mean I do 3 less miles cycling if I bike to work but it means I will definitely get the running in so I will have done the cross training for the day.

So what is the exact plan? Be specific.

I will confirm with Jo that delivering the paperwork by 11:00am is OK for tomorrow now. If that is fine I will set my alarm for 6:30am to do the 5k route and cycle to work at 8:30am as normal. To make sure I have the time I will get my running kit ready and the children's packed lunches and school clothes before I go to bed tonight at 11:45pm.

[Uplift]

Yeh, for me, if you really want to help people, 'Physician heal thyself' is the way to go. You know that what you are doing isn't working, so make changes. Start your day completely differently, different things will happen. Its like the others are advising, reading and applying are different. Whether its mental, physical, emotional, you have to change your mind, shift, if you want something different.

[Liara Covert]

Guten Tag Tobias!

The difference between understanding the 'theory and practice' of helping yourself will come to you.

Shamou makes a useful point. If you take steps to share self-help ideas with other people, this is like strengthening and reinforcing what you aim to learn,a nd honoring your intentions.

Your energy, encouragement and enthusiasm can grow the same way too. Demonstrate these emotions for others so they come to understand them. You'll also come to believe them in your way.

[fawn]

I just wanted to say that it's great to dream but it sounds like you need to be grounded. Sometimes when you let your mind run a muck it makes it hard to live as you want to, meaning that when you dream big it makes reality boring and when you try to put things into persepective what you do know seems so small...at least that's what i find. I hear that you have a lot of basic emotions behind what you want to do and you're looking at the big picture but what i believe will help is to think of a small realistic, physical thing you can do to complete your goals. I'd suggest starting by defining your goals, shaping them in realistic manners. I think tuumble gave an excellent example of something realistic to do.

[Tobias Zimpel]

Originally Posted by Shamou

I have seen what you are talking about a great many times... people will study PD and learn all these wonderful techniques for succeeding yet are unable to use those techniques effectively for themselves...

So, what they try to do is to teach those techniques to others... it simply does not work because people see right through you... you have not yet bought what you are trying to sell... it's a bit like a bald man trying to tell you how to grow hair...

Yeah, that's right, and I know that. But there must be some way I can prvide value to others other than selling time for money. There must be something I have bought already and can sell to others. Simply I don't see what that could be.

Until you can get yourself to "take massive action" you are no better than a CD or a hard disk... you have stored a tremendous amount of information... but it's not going anywhere...

Yeah, I know that. But I believe that when I take massive action, that I'll be only turning in circles faster than before.

Hope I was not too harsh on you... and I certainly wish you the very best...

No, you weren't, thanks.

Originally Posted by Freelancer

The way I see it you already have a great deal of direction in your life;
You know that you want to help other people.
You know that you want to contribute to the greater good and direction of the planet.
You have a vision in what direction humanity should move towards.

You have all those things but not quite a clear cut picture of what immediate action to take. What I think you should do is the following;
Take action in the direction of your vision.

Erm... just to get this right: As I don't know what I should do, I should start doing it? Well then... what sould I do?

Don't worry yet about the money,

But I have to, since at the moment, I don't even earn enough to pay for my monthly expenses. I'm self employed, doing work I hate to do and that barely pays anything at the moment, and that situation robs me of the energy I need to turn my life around. So I quit that about 3 weeks before to refocus and trying to find something else.

So I'm searching for some way to either get some passive income in a way that I provide real value instead of stealing it from others, or immediately start something I really enjoy doing in a way that will pay for my monthly expenses from the beginning on.

The third way would be to live off my credit card untill I either get something up and running, or go bankrupt.

Oh, the fourth possibilitie would be to re-enter my self-employment until I work myself into burnout... or get a job again.

right know your in a state of analysis paralysis (thats what its looking like anyway) and your first priority is getting out of that. To do that you need to take action and preferably MASSIVE action as shamou so elegantly said.

Yeah, taking action is clear. But there's one problem: What I want to do or should do in order to get my life on track, doesn't pay any, and what does pay for me leaves me drowned, so I can't turn my life around. So now?

Can you tell me some more about your vision and how you see the world in 500-1000 years?

I'm doing so in another thread, and post a link here.

[Tobias Zimpel]

Hi Tuumble,

Thanks for your suggestion of going into dialogue with myself. I've never tried doing this via IM, but I do some similar technique in my journal. Anyways, I'll try the IM-version, maybe it works even better for me.

[Tuumble]

Good luck!