In Need of Hope

[Mark24]

Does anyone here have any stories of hope having lost there way in life after quite a few adverse things happening and finding there way back. Having not worked for a long time now mainly due to health problems caused by being a alcoholic. I will one day be in the situation that fueled my bad habits to a certain extent not all of it was that situation but some of it contributed you could say, Im not very good at being unemployed I find it frustrating, and after a time lose steam and interest,as last time I never seemed to get anywhere which made matters worse and in a nutshell drank myself stupid. Thinking about being in that situation does scare me because I don't know how I'll be once in it again can anyone relate to this.

Be really interested in yours or anyone else's stories doesn't matter.

[Shamou]

Mark... have you found what was at the root of your problems...??? Knowing the cause of it all goes a long way toward finding a cure...

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[Mark24]

Perhaps some self destructive thinking alcohol took me away from the real world. Im just wondering what path other people took when faced with a similar situation and how they turned there life around, because I feel lost very lost and scared.

[Akashic_Librarian]

I can't say I have suffered in any way really. I have had a good life but like everyone i have had ups and downs and one thing I never forget is what makes us negative. Fear. Once the fear is gone there is nothing, only you remain.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Mark24

Perhaps some self destructive thinking alcohol took me away from the real world.

I would have to agree with Akashic_Librarian that fear of facing yourself and the real world may be keeping you from progressing. Many people think that running away from fear will help, but it makes everything worse.

Make the commitment to start facing your fears, little by little. It's going to be difficult, but by not doing it you will put yourself even further behind.

Make little baby steps, but do something to move forward. Don't allow yourself to fall into the same traps that got you in trouble before. Remember also to be patient with yourself, but keep pushing forward.

Occupy yourself with activities that broaden your knowledge. Keep busy learning new things and develop yourself.

All the best to you!

[dulaney0330]

Mark,

Sounds like you are very self-aware and motivating toward finding and doing better for yourself. Good for you! Alcoholism is a very serious illness that may require counseling...have you considered?

On a more personal note, I have found myself in many adverse situations in my life. I am very young (22) but I have struggled with severe depression and anxiety since I was five years old. I was placed in mental hospitals a couple times and I struggled with self-mutulation. In my teenage years, I was completely friendless and I did not feel I had a future. My mom was so scared that I would successfully commit suicide that she called my Aunt and I went to live with her.

I went to live in a different state, a different school, and a different house! But I believe going to live with my Aunt saved my life and my future. After nearly two years, I began to slowly overcome the pains of depression. I soon had friends and I felt a little more confident in my abilities.

As of now, I am in a three and a half year relationship with a wonderful man, I am a senior in college majoring in psychology, and I just bought my first car. I hardly ever suffer a severe bout of depression and my anxiety has significantly lessened. I am off all medications and I am much happier.

No one would have ever guessed that I had such a past and I take that as a compliment! I suffered severely almost my entire life and I am very blessed to still be alive and well today. I did not overcome my struggles overnight or even in a couple years. But it took years and years of fighting, family support, believing in myself, and just the maturity of growing up!

I do not consider myself a miracle or amazing for overcoming my past, but I do consider that I have a fighting spirit...you have to! You have to WANT success, WANT to overcome your struggles, and WANT happiness.

Do not give up and do not give in! Amazing things can happen if you just simply believe and fight for another day.

[Shamou]

Beautiful and very inspiring story dulaney0330... thank you for having the courage to share it with us...

As for you Mark... I have a lot of patients who have joined AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) and in every case... it has been a tremendous help... and as far as I know, it is free...

There is no shame in being down Mark... that is, so long as one makes an effort to get back up on his feet...

Lot of courage to you and best of luck...

.

[Mark24]

Hi dulaney0330 and everyone else who replied the, alcohol is long gone has been for a while now I think more than anything it's the what's out there but as you say running away from your fears is the worse thing.

And thanks for sharing that story dulaney0330 very inspiring if anyone else has any more like that be interested to read them.

Thanks everyone it does help.

[Matthew Shea]

Mark, I may be a bit late to the party, but I have something to add.

My father was an alcoholic who was still in the functional stage when, in 1979, my mother basically told him to clean his act up or she was going to take the kids and move back home (my dad had just been transferred from NY to MI). He hasn't let a drop of alcohol pass his lips since and has been very active in AA.

In all the years since then, I've seen a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean a LOT as in everything from alcohol poisoning requiring detox to mental illness to horrifying stories of abuse and rape to the tragic suicide of someone we all thought was on a promising path. In all these stories, there's been no correlation between the severity of someone's problem and their ultimate success in dealing with it. The guy with the alcohol poisoning was detoxed by his family (this was a chronic problem for him, obviously), cleaned himself up, got a job as a salesman and was very successful and was clean for years after (I admittedly haven't heard much about him lately although my parents attend the same church as his family). The guy who committed suicide had a much less severe problem, had been sober for quite a while, had a great fiance, a loving family and a promising life ahead of him. He got a call one day, though, from an old drinking buddy and gave into the temptation. That bender was his last and they found him behind an abandoned store months later with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to his head.

Now if I told you the first half of these stories without revealing the endings, I'd expect that you'd probably guess the outcomes wrong. There is a consistency, there, though that I'll explain. I'm thoroughly convinced that, for someone with a real problem, as both these men had, you have to understand at the deepest level that you, as a person, are incapable of controlling yourself around alcohol and firmly commit to eliminating it from your life. Therein lies the consistency: one man made that commitment, despite the outward appearance of being in much worse shape, while the other didn't.

Now I know you're capable of that commitment (as evidenced by your coming here) and, as a human, you have the free will and also apparently the desire to make that commitment, but it's completely up to you to succeed (and please know that we all want to see you succeed). I truly hope that you'll seek out support from those around you, especially those people that truly love you and want to help, but who may be difficult to confide in. Groups like AA are invaluable in that respect and can provide a great way of being accountable to others to help keep you on the right track. Who knows, maybe several years from now you'll be the one sponsoring others in the program and helping them to clean their life up, too, just as my dad has done.

I wish you the best of luck and boundless determination.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Mark. Can you explain what situation you were in that led to this? If you don't feel comfortable, I understand. It seems like the best thing would be not to be in that situation again, but I don't know if that's possible...you said you would be. Can you avoid it?

I will say that I am just now going through what is the hardest part of my life so far. I have lost several family members and am in the midst of a breakup that has caused me to question a lot of things in my life. These by no means trump what you are going through, but I will just share a little of what helps me get through.

Do you have any close friends or relatives who would take the time to just listen when you need to vent? Even if you don't, get on these forums all the time. There's a lot of wisdom here. People genuinely want to help and give a lot of good advice. In a situation such as alcoholism, a therapist or meetings of some kind would probably be a big help.

Be as active as you can. When I sit still and just let my mind run free, I tend to get into a panic. Find something you like to do, preferably something physical and go at it.

Think about what you want from your new sober life. Get some goals and do something each day to bring you closer to them, no matter how small.

I know these are not magic pills. I wish I could say a word to put you at ease and give you hope. I am sending lots of love your way! Don't lose hope. I am confident in you that you can overcome any obstacle. You have the power inside of you. We're here for you.

Edit: I just noticed you also said you feel lost and scared. I have also had times where I had intense feelings of fear. My relief comes from prayer, but if that's not comfortable to you something like meditating or releasing the uncontrolable aspects of life to the universe (I think one of the steps in AA has to do with accepting things you can't control). There is a bigger consciousness out there that can handle the things too big for us in our down moments. Trust in that.

[Mark24]

Hi everyone who replied to this thread well in a nutshell my life has gone like this had job lost job never worked for more than two years. Alcohol has always sort of hanging around in the background like a bad smell if you like that very last job I had I resigned, I kept on making mistakes due to stress my work became poor and left when I left, I didn't do much after that it, as if was if things by this time had got to much I didn't look for a job and prior to this had already started drinking when I knew I didn't have a job anymore the rot started to set in. It got out of control sometimes I would have rapid heartbeat for no reason feel really ill. Things came to a head about a year or two later I went to the Dr's and told him how I was feeling and had some blood tests, they came back and confirmed I had a problem with my liver, and things went downhill from there

I had everything from the DT's to feeling quite ill when a viral infection came along it used to knock me flying longer than a normal person anyway. Things have moved a bit since then I don't feel as bad as I used, to no were near and. I don't quite know when but in the not to near distant future I will back where I started again unemployed that is and I'm not that good when it comes to that situation I have tended to drink once confronted with it I think it depends on the length of time I am on it, you can hack it for so long.

But it gets to me very easily this may be due to the fact that I never seem to get off it and always end up back there one way or another. Other things have caused me to drink relationship breakups etc but, now haven't had any for years since it made me ill.

At the end of last year I lost my father it hit me hard In a way now I am sort of thinking "where now" is there anywhere to go things could be a lot worse don't get me wrong far far worse. But facing up to reality well does scare me because I really don't know what is or isn't out there.

I did put on a lot of weight at one stage weighed 18 stone now weigh 14 stone ish my target is 13 still a bit to go, I started meditating which is probably one of the best things I ever did I read more currently reading the success principles and read countless other books about visualisation etc.

I was just interested in knowing if anyone else had been in a similar situation as mine and become a success, because that is one thing I would love just to say do my own thing and be successful once in my life and get off the unemployment merry go round because when your on it it's very hard to get off it and I find it hard to deal with after a while sending letters and getting no where I tend to lose interest it becomes very boring and being at the mercy of other people well it's your fate in there hands so to speak.

The thing is my CV or resume as it's otherwise known reads like a bumpy road up and down. Which can tend to put people off.

[Old Soul]

perhaps your salvation is yet to be found in your sobriety:-))
there in lies your hope!!!

Sow a seed of hope
awaken to a dream
lay upon your bed of faith
and move a mountain to carry out that dream
The hands of charity will run to meet you
together we will fullfil the dream
thanking God for the seed sown in us all
Love~ the reason for everyones dream