Should I change for the worse?

[KMDES]

I like to think of myself of someone who is a person of honesty, integrity and compassion. I always believed I should uphold my beliefs and be unwavering in being the best I can be and doing what good I can.

The issue is I just got an e-mail stating that I need to stop doing that.

I guess a little explanation about myself would help people understand this post better. I'm a 25 year old male. Recently I found out I was going to be a father.

I've always had problems with places I've worked at. I've always believed lying to a customer is wrong, selling them products that they don't need or wouldn't want is wrong, or in general ripping them off is wrong. Every place I work at pushes their own agenda on me to go against my beliefs or be fired. This time it's refusing to sell unneeded/useless extended warranties, junk products and obscenely high interest rate credit cards with absolutely unfair fine print to customers looking for quality products. I've been fired quite a few times for such things. Now this wouldn't be such a horrible thing, but now that I have a family to look after and a huge pile of debt looming over us.

Now the question is should I forgo being compassionate, honest and my integrity in order to provide for myself and my family? At this point in time, I can't do both. I don't want to end up being like my parents who let me lead a sub-par childhood because they were more focused on themselves instead of doing what was best for me.

I don't really see anybody or anything missing my good attributes. It feels as if I have an infinite well of bad karma that for every good thing I do, or good thing that happens to me, something equally bad or worse happens to me in exchange.

The scary part of all this is I was more or less born with the innate ability to manipulate/intimidate that I can get very far ahead in just about anything that I could do. I just more or less never used this 'ability' as I believed I would be a despicable scoundrel to do such a thing.

So I guess the really question is should I live with myself if I become a dirty lying scumbag to provide for myself and my family? Should I get ahead so I can do more for my family and people? Is it better to be evil now so I can be a better asset to my family and society in the future?

[Criseyde]

I would grit my teeth and do it while actively finding a way to get out of that industry. Ultimately, it is just sales, not the Milgram experiments; no matter what you say, everyone has their own will (I can say no to anyone ). Can you take night classes and learn a trade or something? Or maybe you could become a realtor. That is a fairly decent sales job with a low percentage of ripping people off, as long as you don't get into all the racial stuff...

Or, you could switch to something more retail-y. I don't think I could lie to or mislead people, either; it would probably be better for you to work someplace where you could be more honest. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I like this approach. There are definitely sales jobs where you can be totally honest. If you still don't like sales, you can switch to one of these to support yourself and your family while working to get out of that kind of role entirely.

Congrats on the baby.

[MovingForward]

The answer is up to you. Can you respect yourself if you feel you are a lying dirty scumbag? Can you be a good dad and role model to your child?

For me, I knew at a young age sales was not for me. I felt I would have to really believe in a product to sell it. I figured this out after I got fired from a telemarketing job selling multiple magazine subscriptions after a week. I always just wanted to chat with the people over the phone instead of pushing this ripoff.

That being said, a field that I thought would be full of genuine, kind, honest, people who want to help others, has been filled with experiences with lying dirty scumbags and most of them have been supervisors and people in high positions of authority.

I think I would have made more money in sales.

[Angela]

I think it would be an insane choice to choose a job that is in direct conflict with your purpose and values, and has you feeling like a dirty lying scumbag, so that your family would have supported.

How supported would your family by a dirty lying scumbag? Wouldn't they be more supported by your living in alignment with what's important to you, and being a person of integrity whom they can admire and see as a positive role-model?

Originally Posted by KMDES

At this point in time, I can't do both.

To me, this looks like the belief that's really holding you back. Is it true? There are no companies with values like yours who need the skills you provide? Ich don't theeenk so.

[MsPollyAnna]

It sounds to me like the best place for you is in the medical field. Somewhere you can put your values to good use and not be questioned. Have you thought about this?

I'm the same way you are but when you have a kid you put yourself and your feelings aside and do whatever you have to do to care for your kid. Even if that means turning tricks on the corner(JOKE!)

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by KMDES

I like to think of myself of someone who is a person of honesty, integrity and compassion. I always believed I should uphold my beliefs and be unwavering in being the best I can be and doing what good I can.

I've been fired quite a few times for such things. Now this wouldn't be such a horrible thing, but now that I have a family to look after and a huge pile of debt looming over us.

Now the question is should I forgo being compassionate, honest and my integrity in order to provide for myself and my family? At this point in time, I can't do both. I don't want to end up being like my parents who let me lead a sub-par childhood because they were more focused on themselves instead of doing what was best for me.

Do you act honest and compassionate from the heart or from a belief that it pleases "God" or something like that?

If you've matured to "be" love and not just "act" loving, then you don't have a choice unless your physical survival is at stake...then in survival mode we are instinctively selfish in order to stay alive.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by KMDES

Now the question is should I forgo being compassionate, honest and my integrity in order to provide for myself and my family?

Be the kind of person you want your child to learn how to be.