My agenda versus other people's agenda

[DoggyLady]

I find that I have difficulty guarding my own agenda and the important things in my life and instead often get drawn into other people's agendas.

e.g. social activities, interesting workshops, offers to take up some roles and responsibilities, in some committee etc.

When they ask, I always usually say yes.

I'm wondering, why do 'i have to keep relying on other people to keep my calendar occupied ?

It seems like when people approach me to take up responsiblities, go for social events, etc, i feel validated, I feel important.

But really, I feel angry sometimes and ask myself, how come I am not having clarity about my own things, such that other people's things take over in my life? Sometimes I get so busy that I get upset with myeslf for just not having the time to even do simple things like my laundry. I get so busy with activities that I am never at home to do the things I need to do at home. I run from one activity to another, and my task list is never ending.

how can I have clarity over my own stuff?

how do i protect them?

how do i set priorities in my life?

how do i juggle everything?

how do i know when to say no?

how do i balance what i do for/with others and what i do for myself ?

[FlabRoshi]

So, if you can't stop being a pushover then just be a pushover.

What does it matter to you if you are a pushover?

[RonSouther]

Doggy,

First the self-consciousness needs to end, that is to say, the concern over the opinions of others.

How?

Face your fears and say "no" when you mean "no" and find out that everything is okay. I don't know any other way to grow through this.

Integrity is when you do something that is backed up by your heart, not your willpower/ego.

Your ego is making promises that your heart doesn't want to deliver. I was a pro at that....