What is a "God Complex"?

[Philemon]

Your thoughts?

[Philemon]

Perhaps I should explain some of my intent behind this question in the hopes of getting some feedback.

Someone close to me recently told me I have a "god-complex" when I talk about things I'm good at. I found this insulting because I consciously practice a lot of self-doubt in the areas I'm good at, which I think allows me to be pursuing improvement.

This person said that I shouldn't take it as such an insult, that we all have god-complexes in some way. I'm wondering if it's just our defintions of the term which are different, thus making me view this as a big insult, whereas this person does not invest as much weight in such a claim.

Hence the question. Curious how people on this site view this idea. Positive, negative, both? That sort of thing.

[OptimistPrime]

I've heard the term, but never heard it defined. So I wouldn't know how to react if someone told me I had one.

[MysteryX]

Considering 1000 people have 1000 definitions for a vague word like "God", people will have even more divergent opinions on an unknown expession like a "God complex".

Better ask him directly than trying to make even more speculation and interpretation.

Who cares about the "words" anyway? You want to get to the real meanings.

[hamix]

a narcissist.

[elucidate]

Yeah, I think you're friend was displaying a popular distortion of thinking. He was saying that by you expressing things you are good at you were being a Narcisisst...someone who thinks they are God.

Expressing what you are good at is a sign of good, healthy self-esteem, unfortunately there seems to be this prevailing attitude in society that we aren't allowed to do that, that it is like some sort of social pho pa which means we are "up ourselves', and your friend saying that was an attempt to knock you off your pedestal and bring you back down to their level...which is, not feeling very good about themselves and feeling uncomfortable at hearing anyone else express that they DO feel good about themselves.

The alternative is to only express what you are good at to yourself in private, and avoid these sorts of confrontations, even though it is clearly that persons lack of self esteem in question, they will never admit to that.

Otherwise you will always get this. One thing though...why do you feel you need to say it to friends like this? If you know you are good at things you can just know that, or write it down...do you need to tell others about it? It might be worth asking yourself why, although I don't personally see anything 'wrong' with it as such.

I guess it depends on how you say it to others. Do you dominate the conversation talking about yourself and your talents, or do you just drop it into conversation here and there? The former is Narcisissm, the latter is healthy self esteem.

[Philemon]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone.

I think the narcissistic aspect of the claim is what bothered me most. Although, for some reason I had not thought of that word yet. Thanks for clarifying.

@MysteryX:

"Who cares about the 'words' anyway?"

Yes, exactly.

@Elucidate:

Thanks for the thoughtful post. I'll answer some of your questions.

1.) "One thing though...why do you feel you need to say it to friends like this?"

I haven't really felt a need to do this. Really, I haven't even felt I've done that with this person. They are the one who attached "the things you're good at" when making the god-complex comment. I rarely gloat, if ever, I think. I'm usually very self-critical; nothing's ever good enough. However, there are a few ideas for which I have developed fairly informed opinions. So maybe it is the knowledge I express, perhaps the way I suggest it which leads to this person's claim.

However, your comment "even though it is clearly that persons lack of self esteem in question, they will never admit to that" resonates with me most. Not to say I'm standing by that as truth--that would relieve me of any responsibility here, and I want to remain open to hearing this person's point of view.

2.) "If you know you are good at things you can just know that, or write it down...do you need to tell others about it?"

No, I don't. I don't even feel the need to express it to myself. It's finding my faults, weaknesses, and shortcomings which help me thrive, which give me confidence, knowing I can usually find a way to get better. What's the name of that philosophy where you practice the art of unknowing? I tend to do that, which is why I'm even considering this person's claims.

Interestingly, one thing this person said I had a god-complex about was teaching. But they were the person who has often built me up when I get self-critical about teaching. Hmmm???

3.) Do you dominate the conversation talking about yourself and your talents, or do you just drop it into conversation here and there?

This is a question worth considering. While my first response is a definitive "no," at most I just drop it into conversation here and there, I don't want to underestimate the potential that I've missed something. Usually, I'm not one to talk about myself, my achievements, and so on. I have a lot of education, but I hang out with mostly people who do not--they tend to be more fun . When my profession comes up, my educational background and achievements, I tend to say very little, thank them if they give me any compliment, and redirect the conversation to something that isn't about me. I prefer not to talk about me.

Or in the case of my teaching, I'm discussing the good things my students do, which from my very Taoist view of leadership, I don't take responsibility for.

Really, I tend to be a listener. I already have my own thoughts, so I seek the insights and opinions of others. It's only really on forums like this or with the best of friends when I'll talk much about myself.

-------------------

My first dominant impression in this situation was that this person was painting a portrait of me without enough paint. I still think that's mostly true. I think the stuff about self-esteem is a factor too. I plan to mostly keep "the things I'm good at" to myself with this person. Funny thing, I thought I already did that all the time. That's why I'm thinking about it.

[Beingist]

Per Wikipedia:

A god complex is an unshakable belief characterized by consistently inflated feelings of personal ability, privilege, or infallibility. A person with a god complex may refuse to admit the possibility of error or failure, even in the face of complex or intractable problems or difficult or impossible tasks, or may regard personal opinions as unquestionably correct.[1][2] The individual may disregard the rules of society and require special consideration or privileges.[1]
God complex is not a clinical term or diagnosable disorder, and does not appear in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

I agree that a god complex would reveal narcissistic tendencies. There are a few people around this forum, I think, with unshakeable god complexes, as they simply refuse to accept that either anyone else exists, and absolutely will never admit that they are mistaken.

Basically, to me, one with a god complex completely fails to be honest with themselves, and so simply and completely lacks any sense of humility.

[RonSouther]

"Human will" is a "God complex".

[Beingist]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

"Human will" is a "God complex".

Interesting observation, and one with which I'm compelled to agree.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Beingist

Interesting observation, and one with which I'm compelled to agree.

And narcissism follows human will when human will seems to be succeeding.

Depression follows human will when human will seems to be failing.

[RonSouther]

So I would say a "God complex" is someone that thinks he controls life, that he is above nature and not part of nature.

[MariconesUnited]

You don't strike me as someone with a God complex Philemon. Quite the opposite in fact, if that's possible. This person doesn't have a high level of education right? Generally speaking, the aforementioned lack of confidence will show up in people with less education. So I tend to agree with that assertion.

What's this philosophy of unknowing? Consider my curiosity piqued

[elucidate]

It is wholly possible that the person who said this to you is the one with the God complex. Narcisissts are famous for projection.

[Philemon]

@Beingist and RonSouther:

Great thoughts! Clear and concise. I wonder, though, about the A/B comparison of what follows human will. The Narcissism part made sense, not as sure about the depression part. Stimulating claims though, regardless.

@MariconesUnited:

Thanks for that. You're right about the education thing. I see a lot of people do that. My family was the first to do it. Bless them, they didn't mean to. I guess that's the trick; most who fall into that place do so subconsciously. Although, I suppose there is some reverse truth possible here.

Philosophy of unknowing -- I'm trying to find where I got that wording.
My basic description of it is this: It's practicing a lot of healthy skepticism. It could be regarding claims of any sort, beliefs, definitely assumptions, emotional responses, ideas, and more. For me, it's not an abadonment totally from a sense of truth, ethic, or definitiveness. It's definitely not agnosticism for me. It's a willingness, a conscious effort, to practice doubt healthily, including doubting oneself.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Philemon

@Beingist and RonSouther:

Great thoughts! Clear and concise. I wonder, though, about the A/B comparison of what follows human will. The Narcissism part made sense, not as sure about the depression part. Stimulating claims though, regardless.

Depression is a depressed ego. It's a mind that isn't so sure of itself anymore. You could say that Hilter had a God Complex until he saw his capture coming...not feeling so godly anymore and he punched out with suicide. Look at Saddam Hussein and Quadafi...both delusional about why they weren't loved in the end...why they were so hated.

Depression is a door to transformation but few walk through it. Most find something new to get excited about (new beliefs, new hopes, new dreams, new escapes) and/or self-medicate to try to forget their woes. It's a door to transformation because in those moments the ego is weak and the mind is open to getting help. Western culture doesn't offer help. It offers drugs and escapes and conditionings. It tries to use the mind to correct the mind. It tries to use one pole to control the other pole of the mind. Doesn't work.

So the bookstores are loaded with self-help books, and the new high priests are the shrinks because the old high priests using superstitions to control you don't have any power anymore because we are too intelligent to really believe that crap anymore.

Depression is a wonderful opportunity yet most of us get depressed about our depression and end up being ill without end.

The God Complex comes out of blind logic. Anyone with high intelligence knows that he can't control life....he can only let go and live it.

[Philemon]

Originally Posted by elucidate

It is wholly possible that the person who said this to you is the one with the God complex. Narcisissts are famous for projection.

I agree. I'm really not trying to go there because this person means a lot to me, and basically accepting that idea would mean i wouldn't have to give much credence to their thought. Plus, I'm not a fan of narcissists, although I can actually say I have known very few people who I thought were "real" narcissists. Usually, they're just insecure and can admit to that. It's when they can't that I think I've encountered a narcissist.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Philemon

I agree. I'm really not trying to go there because this person means a lot to me, and basically accepting that idea would mean i wouldn't have to give much credence to their thought. Plus, I'm not a fan of narcissists, although I can actually say I have known very few people who I thought were "real" narcissists. Usually, they're just insecure and can admit to that. It's when they can't that I think I've encountered a narcissist.

In this thread is a really good read that I think is related to your question...
The need to be loved and understood...a very nice read!

[Beingist]

Originally Posted by Philemon

Usually, they're just insecure and can admit to that. It's when they can't that I think I've encountered a narcissist.

Precisely. A real narcissist can never admit they're a narcissist, else they're not a narcissist.

To be clear, the temporal ego is inherently narcissistic. Anyone introspective can see that, and through humility, understand it. A narcissist won't. A narcissist can't.