The Real You

[Mark24]

How do you know which is the real you and what you should be doing in life do some of us end up in jobs because that's where we think we belong instead of where we should be.

Anyone have any thoughts opinions etc.

[InJoy]

I have come to believe that feelings are my best barometer. If what I do at any given time (and its consequences) makes me feel good, I'm probably doing the right thing for me. If I feel badly about something I'm doing or experiencing, or by the consequences of those actions, I need to either change what I'm doing/experiencing, or change the way I think about it.

[Iksander]

InJoy has good advice, feelings/emotions are fairly accurate internal reactions to thoughts that are in-tune with 'YOU' or out of tune with 'YOU'.

Taking proactive and decisive action to 'develop' your core and to define those absolutes that make up the foundation of a person is an important aspect to the 'true you'. You have so much freedom to define these absolutes, that you can even mold what kind of experiences you desire.

Also, the 'form' of desires are really just different masks put on by one actor - fulfillment, joy, happiness, higher-self, true-self, broader-self, whatever you want to call it. The function of desires is to animate.

[Mark24]

Hi thanks for those replies Im at a crossroads in my life right now and well feel a bit lost if that's the correct words, I lost my father at the end of last year and since then have felt a bit all over the place you might say. Beforehand I was feeling quite positive and now Im wondering what life is all about and where do I go from here. I can expand more if needed it will probably help I know to talk about this.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by InJoy

I have come to believe that feelings are my best barometer. If what I do at any given time (and its consequences) makes me feel good, I'm probably doing the right thing for me. If I feel badly about something I'm doing or experiencing, or by the consequences of those actions, I need to either change what I'm doing/experiencing, or change the way I think about it.

I hate you for being so smart...

But... I agree with you one hundred percent...

.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Mark24

Hi thanks for those replies Im at a crossroads in my life right now and well feel a bit lost if that's the correct words, I lost my father at the end of last year and since then have felt a bit all over the place you might say. Beforehand I was feeling quite positive and now Im wondering what life is all about and where do I go from here. I can expand more if needed it will probably help I know to talk about this.

Very sorry to hear about your dad... but I feel that it is quite normal for you to feel a little lost right now... so, in case of doubt... seek advice from someone that you can trust and who has the capacities to counsel you... and, if you don't know such a person... ask a professional... might be the best money you've ever spent...

The very best of luck to you...

.

[A.K.Light]

Originally Posted by InJoy

I have come to believe that feelings are my best barometer. If what I do at any given time (and its consequences) makes me feel good, I'm probably doing the right thing for me. If I feel badly about something I'm doing or experiencing, or by the consequences of those actions, I need to either change what I'm doing/experiencing, or change the way I think about it.

I agree with that too. I often think it's like we are all trying to get to same place, but we are going about it in completely different ways sometimes. For example, some play a game to have fun, so they have fun the whole time whether they win or lose. And some people just play to win, so it might not be as pleasurable until the end, but in the end, we all get what we are after, just in different ways.

So I guess as long as you consider the options and don't feel obligated to go one way or the other for any reason other than your own happines, you will end up finding what is right for you - the real you.

[InJoy]

Originally Posted by Mark24

Hi thanks for those replies Im at a crossroads in my life right now and well feel a bit lost if that's the correct words, I lost my father at the end of last year and since then have felt a bit all over the place you might say. Beforehand I was feeling quite positive and now Im wondering what life is all about and where do I go from here. I can expand more if needed it will probably help I know to talk about this.

Sorry for your loss.

Are you finding that your goals and motivations were based on what he wanted or expected, or are there other factors at work in your "lostness"?

If it will make you feel good to talk about it, please do.

[Mark24]

I think more than anything InJoy it's re-building my life you see before all this happened I had a drinking problem and as a result of that became very ill, this came about because I lost my job a long time ago I walked out I had enough of the place and went on a downward spiral, the way my health went was up and down all over the place, I had some quite frightening experiences when I went out even though I was told I should feel ok, so in the end I shut down and withdrew from everything and stayed where I felt safe.

Now this has happened and my health has improved somewhat Im sort of thinking is there anything out there for me having not worked for such a long time, being out there how I was before just the thought of it makes me feel fearful perhaps it's because you don't know how things will go, but when I have been out of work before to some degree alcohol was always in the background somewhere I suppose it helped blot out the situation I was in but the last time I just lost control and just kept drinking until I became ill. You see I have been in and out of work all my life I was sacked once and have lost lots of jobs in the past and in some respects feel like a bit of a failure, you could say you see when employers look at my CV it shows a bumpy road of a career, the longest I have ever worked was two years.

And now you see I'm wondering where do I go from here in a way now I feel like I am living in a dream
I just feel as though Iv'e lost interest in life altogether I think about doing things but nothing happens it's like Im just not interested at all I have always had a problem with motivation why I don't know.

What does writing a post like this say about me does it take courage to open your soul to the whole world ?

Thanks for reading this anyway.

I even thought about doing a blog around getting my life back on track but wasn't sure what I could write about or if anyone would read it.

[Michael Chui]

Try Steve's exercise in finding your purpose.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...ut-20-minutes/

When you get some kind of answer, or have some kind of certainty, let us know what that is. I have some ideas on where you might go based on what you say.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Mark24

What does writing a post like this say about me does it take courage to open your soul to the whole world ?

Hi Mark - yes it does say you have courage! It also says that you are willing to examine yourself and your life which also takes courage.

I do not think that feelings should be the prime barometer for making decisions in life (note correction InJoy). You have to combine them with analytical thinking. Your feelings and emotions can change from one moment to the next depending on your moods and how you have reacted to certain events (I'm sorry about the loss of your father). Feelings are very important but must be tempered with reason and practical thinking.

Right now you are still going through a very difficult time. Be patient with yourself. There will come time again when you will see things in a different perspective.

[Mark24]

Hi ZHereford and thanks for replying I do read all suggestions that have been made and thanks to everyone for replying.

The more the better In my book.

[InJoy]

Originally Posted by Mark24

I even thought about doing a blog around getting my life back on track but wasn't sure what I could write about or if anyone would read it.

FWIW, I think being at a crossroads, as you put it, is a wonderful, exciting place to be. It sounds like you've had some trouble along the way and you now have a distinct opportunity to make the changes necessary to send your life on a whole new path. Seriously, good for you!

As for your blog idea, I think it's terrific. I did something like that and it made a huge difference. It's motivating to know that, regardless of traffic, someone could be reading it. It gave me a sense of accountability. You never know who might type in just the right search words on Google and then be helped or motivated by what you are doing. But, don't write it for the readers. Write it for you. You're worth it. And, as to what you'd write about, it sounds to me like you are on a very exciting journey. Why not just write about where you've been, where you're headed, the road you are on, the turns you make (and don't make), and your experience of the whole thing.

Originally Posted by ZHereford

I disagree however that feelings are the only barometer for making decisions in life. You have to combine them with analytical thinking.

ZHereford, just to clarify, I said that feelings are my best barometer. I'm wayyyy too much of a geek to dismiss analytical thinking!

[Mark24]

Hi InJoy thanks for replying actually what you have said has made me think perhaps my thoughts feelings put in words might connect with some people and give them hope if there in a similar situation, or may be give them some inspiration to do the same. To me in a way it feels exciting in one way but a bit scary in another way, I think the first thing I'll do is build a tardis in my back garden cue (Dr Who music) and see that my future is there bright and rosy. .

One thing that has come out of this It has given me a lot of time to think about things and Iv'e been reading a lot and learnt a lot about myself I need to get in a more positive frame of mind I tend to live in the past a bit and it's time to let go of it.

Starting this thread was a good idea it's been a interesting read and thanks again for all those who replied.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by InJoy

ZHereford, just to clarify, I said that feelings are my best barometer. I'm wayyyy too much of a geek to dismiss analytical thinking!

Correction noted!

For me, thinking + past experience + intuition works best. I find that my feelings are often not a good barometer. They are usually an emotional response from which I have to step back and work through.