Defining and Re-Defining Yourself - Practical Process?

[glassflank]

So not sure if this is about character or more general personal development but will continue none-the-less!

So I'm noticing some attributes I'd like to add or accentuate in my personality more, and I wonder if anyone has personally gone through a process to re-define themselves.

I'm also noticing my friends who used be both role models and be supportive are becoming neither of these, I have outgrown some of my friends, this is very encouraging but also presents something of a quality problem, of course it's not great to outgrow your friends, but in some sense it's a fantastic measure of your own growth.

Anyway, so I imagine the process to begin integrating new aspect of personality is simply to write them out and have awareness of yourself and other people who bring this out in you, is there a better way?

Perhaps I shall begin this in this very thread, Of course these personality traits may not be the ones most people are attempting to cultivate, so.. here goes.

Things I want more of in my personality:

Aggressiveness - I noticed a touch of this in myself, and I like the feeling, I feel more in-control and more confident. Immediately I feel I can conquer things I felt were out of reach previously.

Machismo - I enjoy the competitiveness and challenges that comes with these 'alpha' guys. My friends annoy me when I tell them I have gotten a step ahead of them in some situation we could be seen as competing in, and they say "Good work man! Well done!" I'd much prefer something like "Oh you mother f#cker.... You goin down!". I am aware this might not be so attractive to women when it's macho as opposed to masculinity, yet I want it anyway.

Ambition - I have plenty of this, but I want more in such a way that causes me to think bigger, and there allows even more discipline.

Confidence - I think confidence and composure will help to balance this out, holding my composure and confidence while attempting things outside my own comfort zone will ensure I don't lose control of any situation.

Gratitude - Again this will help me to stay balanced while attempting big things, ensuring I don't feel anxious and don't try to rush the process while working towards my goals.

I haven't found many mentors who have described going through a change like this, with character, confidence and composure. While still essentially doing-the-right-thing and being a good guy for lack of a better term.

Any feedback will be appreciated.

Thanks,

Nathan.

[Matthew Cluff]

Here's what I suggest doing to start off with.

(1) Get a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. At the top of one side, put Current Characteristics. On the other side, put Desired Characteristics. Then fill in the columns appropriately.

(2) After you've done this, cut or tear away the Current Characteristics side and either shred it, cut it up, burn it, or destroy it while saying, "I give permission for myself to release my past characteristics so that I can move onto a new level of living."

(3) Then, on the side of the paper that you have left, cross out "Desired" and replace it with "Current". One of the greatest principles behind altering one's character comes in acting as if you've already made the changes in your life to get to where you want to be.

(4) List out all of the actions you can start taking (new or ones that you did before) that will help promote your new desired characteristics.

(5) Read this list (of Characteristics and Actions) multiple times daily and visualize first thing in the morning and last thing before you go to bed how your life would be like, what you'd be doing, how you'd act if you were living your life in complete harmony and accordance with these new characteristics.

(6) Take the right action. While the visualizing and reading your notes will help you change, it's important to still be consciously aware of what you're doing and ensuring your actions are in alignment with your new-found character.

(7) OPTIONAL: Have someone else that you often spend time with share in this "transformation" of yours and have them keep you accountable. If they're with you and they notice you reverting back to your old character habits, give them permission to kindly let you know so that you can then take the appropriate action necessary.

(8) Keep a journal of your actions throughout the day that made you feel at the peak of LIVING in accordance to the list you created with the characteristics you wanted to have. Then, take more of those actions and continue discovering new ones that help contribute to this.

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Hopefully this formula will help you out! Keep me posted and let me know how this works for you!

To Your Success,
Matthew Cluff

[Clint Cora]

It's interesting because the more we learn about personal development and take on better role models in our lives, the more we see the flaws in our past and present friends as well as in our relatives, including those from the older generations.

I've gone through this myself and it's perfectly okay to redefine yourself to become a better person. So you are wise in recognizing some of the attributes about yourself that you want to change.

I've become much more tolerant than compared to what I was like in my younger days. As a result, I feel more peace with myself on how I conduct myself out there in the world.

I hope you end up with very positive results.