Figuring out what to give

[mklaebel]

More than anything, since I've begun my personal development journey, I want to figure out how to give back. Or give, in general. But when I think about it, I get anxious and have no idea what I can do to make the world a better place.

I do many of the small things: opening doors, paying sincere compliments, helping out when needed, etc. But that doesn't seem to be enough. I feel like I'm missing something. But what? And how do I figure it out? Or do I just muddle through until something occurs to me? Am I trying too hard?

It's frustrating on many levels. I feel like I'm stuck. Mired down in the way things are now, unable to see the way they can be. Does that make any sense?

I really look forward to hearing from posters here, as I've noticed most everyone is understanding and helpful, but not trying to only tell people what they want to hear. Please be honest, even if it seems harsh. I need a good kick in the rear...to get moving forward again.

Thanks everyone for helping out a newbie!

[poetrythug]

If you are eligible, donate blood. It only takes a couple minutes, but you could save a life. Blood supplies are always desperately low, and only 5% of people donate even though 60% are eligible (which means that if you donate, you are in a pretty select group.)

To me, blood donation is a semi-spiritual experience. Because there truly is an element of sacrifice -- I don't like the pain of having a needle stabbed into my arm. However, there is also a little bit of euphoria from the naturally occuring endorphins the body produces when stabbed (I think people with tons of tattoos and piercing are probably addicted to those endorphins). When I give blood, I meditate/pray for whoever will receive my donation.

I find it a psychologically rewarding experience, and it has created what Steve calls an "upward spiral" in Podcast #4 -- it has led me to become more altruistic and more interested in helping others.

[lifeinoleg]

"give back"

My friend, everyone gets into a rut at some point, but perhaps unbeknown to you, the answer is already in your post. You want to improve the world; change things for the better. You want to bring the positivity you've picked up through Steve Pavlina's website, places like this forum, and other personal development materials to others. You're happy, but that isn't enough; you need others to be happy too. You have come upon the virtue of Service.

To serve has many connotations, some positive, some negative. In our sense, let it be positive. Let's focus for a moment on an experience that has meant a lot to me lately, maybe it'll spark an idea in your mind. A few months ago I was having lunch with a few friends and one of them was in the process of creating a name for a campaign her group was just beginning to organize. Her group was FORGE. We all helped her brainstorm, but she didn't come up with a name just then. In any case, I thought it was interesting what she was doing so I promised to help (with the provision that I wouldn't have to attend too many meetings )

The campaign was eventually called Real Refuge, the event called Baridi Night. Baridi (which means "cold" in Swahili) was an event to help raise money to buy blankets for Congolese refugees in Zambia (World Factbook - Zambia and to raise money for future FORGE events. Throughout the next few months I helped them publicize the event, brainstorm fund raising options and most importantly to my experience, I volunteered to edit a few interviews that one of the members in the group had conducted with several refugees (I've done some audio work in the past).

Let me tell you, listening to these interviews was surreal. Everything horrible one can imagine has happened to these refugees. Through repeated listening - I had to listen to them many time over to edit them - I came to realize that the killing we saw in movies like Blood Diamond and Hotel Rwanda is not exaggerated, in fact, it's probably worse. I also learned just how little life can mean/be worth. I learned and confirmed many lessons I had been taught but could not truly absorb before. In some ways, the experience of those interviews is still sinking in, and will for time to come.

My point? Service. Before I pledged to help with FORGE I was in your position; there was something missing. I tend to stay very busy much of the time, but somehow internally I felt I had to do this, I would find time. Maybe it was just to help a friend at the very beginning, maybe not...Anyway, as time went on I grew more involved the closer the event came...I was never into helping African causes; to me Africa was another continent, I knew that there were bad things happening there, but I simply never turned my attention to that part of the world. It just wasn't my issue, in ways, it still isn't. But now, after Baridi Night has taken place (Friday, April 20), I reflect and am grateful that I had the opportunity to expand my consciousness to include African countries.

Am I advocating you get involved with Refugee causes? No. What I am saying is that no matter where you are (but especially in big cities) there are organizations out there that need your help. No matter what skills you have, you can help. You may not be able to offer a neat solution to world hunger, but you can feed a person. Find something that strikes your fancy and go for it. Heck, find something that doesn't really strike your fancy (Zambia didn't mean a thing to me), either way the Service you provide to a specific organization will in a small way improve the world you're living in.

You can do it!

However, if this is all too much, you can just donate.

--

p.s. - If there are no non-profits where you live, do some volunteering at a hospital, a library, an old-folks home. Wherever. Generally commitments like that are only a few hours a week, but they make a big difference to whoever you help.

p.s.s - If you'd like to listen to the interviews, I would be happy to send them to you. Just PM me.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by mklaebel

More than anything, since I've begun my personal development journey, I want to figure out how to give back. Or give, in general. But when I think about it, I get anxious and have no idea what I can do to make the world a better place.

The best way that you can contribute to a better world... is to become a better you... because the best way that you can help people is through example...

As you expand and grow... so will people around you... which will eventually have a ripple effect... and extend from your circle of influence to a much larger audience...

You are the center of your own personal universe.. . so... work on that person... and the rest will naturally follow...

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[mklaebel]

Thanks to everyone for your thoughtful and encouraging replies. I think just putting my dilemma out there has helped me get out of my rut. I was so focused on "out there" contribution, that I forgot that I need to contribute to me first, i.e. my own growth and development. The rest will fall into place along the way.

Shamou, your post basically sums up the conclusion I came to after posting this and mulling over everyone's responses.

Thank you all. I feel much better about my direction now. I am focusing on those areas of my life that need the most work. I believe that as I improve each area, my positive effect on the rest of the world will improve, too.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by mklaebel

Thanks to everyone for your thoughtful and encouraging replies. I think just putting my dilemma out there has helped me get out of my rut. I was so focused on "out there" contribution, that I forgot that I need to contribute to me first, i.e. my own growth and development. The rest will fall into place along the way.

Shamou, your post basically sums up the conclusion I came to after posting this and mulling over everyone's responses.

Thank you all. I feel much better about my direction now. I am focusing on those areas of my life that need the most work. I believe that as I improve each area, my positive effect on the rest of the world will improve, too.

Thank you for your kind words... and the very best of luck to you...

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