wanderlust vs college

[merveilles]

Okay, I'm 21, and my family keeps pushing me to finally start college this fall. I keep going back and forth in my head about what I really want to do next.

Part of me would love to spend the rest of this year just taking it slow, doing things my way.. get a job, save up as much money as I can, then spend the first half of 2012 traveling. I'd love to spend a few months in Southeast Asia, then maybe a month in Europe. Then I could come home (to the US) in the summer and get ready to officially finally start school.

Or I could always do some RTW trip after I get my degree. Then I think what would it really be like if I started school this fall. I'm so restless. I barely graduated high school because I just stopped going to class and stopped doing the assignments (and it's not like I was lazy; I spent a lot of that time at home writing code for my websites). If I start college this fall I'm worried I would just bullsiht my way through and try to get a degree ASAP. I want to go to college when I feel ready to settle down and focus so I can get the most out of it.

I'm just so unsure of everything. If I spend one more year "living out in the real world" will I finally get this restlessness out of my system and be able to settle down?

~ ~ ~

I'm sure someone will ask, what would I do after college. I'm conflicted there as well. Dream 1 would be just find random, temporary jobs: do some modeling, makeup, music, work as an interpreter/translator, teach English in Asia. Nothing that would really pay well, but my life would be an adventure and I would love it.

Dream 2 would be work in some unconventional company and design some sort of brand new technology. Being a web designer and developer for so long suited me because I could focus on making things function flawlessly, be gorgeous to look at and easy to use/intuitive. If I could carry that kind of focus over into some sort of career having to do with technology (specifically creating intelligent programs/AI) I would be pretty happy. I just have no idea where to even start though.. (I don't want to be a professional web developer though. It only makes me happy when I'm managing my own sites)

Thank you for reading this far. I'm just a mental/emotional mess and I don't know what to do..

[Tanja]

Well, IMO, travelling is always a good idea and in your case, both possibilites sound doable. Why not travel before college and after college?

A few things caught my eye: You say your parents are pushing you to start college but you also say you barely graduated high school and feel afraid you're going to BS your through --so to me it seems like travelling now might be a good idea, just to 'decompress''. Of course, it doesn't necessarily mean all your ''questions'' will be answered while/after travelling.

I got the feeling that what's troubling you is not so much the travelling bit but what you want to do after college and you want to have some clarity? Like,after you graduate from college, you feel you need to settle down and that's it?

Is what you plan to study at college something you actually want ?

[Clint Cora]

Either route is fine but just keep this in mind, for a lot of people, college becomes harder when they start later. That's because they have been off the studying mode. Just ask anybody who is considered a 'mature' student taking courses. It's a real grind for them.

If you have the financial ability to get to college soon, it's okay to get in there to get it out of the way. Don't think of college just as a place for taking classes and studying though. It can also be a place where you develop a lot of other skills, like social and communications with others. It's also a place to meet new people.

[OptimistPrime]

merveilles: If your gut feeling is that going to college isn't the right thing for you right now, but you really feel attracted to getting a job so that you can save up some money and go travelling, then I definitely recommend that you do the latter. In the process, you might encounter people and opportunities that would allow you to skip college altogether (unless college is something you're really interested in experiencing for its own sake; it wasn't clear from your post) and go directly into the post-college jobs/work you talked about being interested in.

[FelineNostalgia]

Originally Posted by OptimistPrime

merveilles: If your gut feeling is that going to college isn't the right thing for you right now, but you really feel attracted to getting a job so that you can save up some money and go travelling, then I definitely recommend that you do the latter. In the process, you might encounter people and opportunities that would allow you to skip college altogether (unless college is something you're really interested in experiencing for its own sake; it wasn't clear from your post) and go directly into the post-college jobs/work you talked about being interested in.

Definitely , don t force yourself into collage if you are unsure or unready, it's an expensive mistake

[Somnium Dico]

Originally Posted by FelineNostalgia

Definitely , don t force yourself into collage if you are unsure or unready, it's an expensive mistake

Seconded. Take it from someone who made that expensive mistake. Went through two years of Art School and $10,000 in debt before realizing my major wasn't what I wanted to do.

And I was lucky, I went to a cheap art school. If I were to go to a school like The Art Institute, it would be around $30,000 or more. It's a big commitment, so make sure you're choosing something you'd want to commit TO.

[merveilles]

I'm still thinking over everything, but right now college sounds miserable. If there's something I want to do, I'd prefer to move directly towards it. If I don't know how to do it, I'll do some research and set up my own self-study program, and learn everything as I go. With college I'd have to take required classes and study things I'm not interested in, and I can see myself spacing out and daydreaming about what I could be doing instead. I think what bothers me the most is that I wouldn't be able to choose and have control over every thing I do. If someone else wants me to do it, it feels like a chore. I'm worried I just have the wrong attitude about this.

I do want to go to college. It seems like an invaluable place of focused, intense learning, and I'd be able to get help and advice from people with much more experience than me. I keep going back and forth in my head and stressing myself out. :/

Originally Posted by Tanja

You say your parents are pushing you to start college but you also say you barely graduated high school and feel afraid you're going to BS your through --so to me it seems like travelling now might be a good idea, just to 'decompress''. Of course, it doesn't necessarily mean all your ''questions'' will be answered while/after travelling.

In your opinion, how would traveling make a difference? One thing I worry about is what if I did travel for a while, and then I get home and still don't feel ready for college?

Originally Posted by Tanja

I got the feeling that what's troubling you is ... what you want to do after college and you want to have some clarity? Like,after you graduate from college, you feel you need to settle down and that's it?

Going to college feels like settling down to me lol. and that makes me feel like I'd be suffocating, just waiting it out to start living my life. I would like some clarity in what jobs could offer what I described as "Dream 2" in my original post. I really have no idea how to go about that..

Originally Posted by Clint Cora

for a lot of people, college becomes harder when they start later. That's because they have been off the studying mode. Just ask anybody who is considered a 'mature' student taking courses. It's a real grind for them.

That's how school has always felt to me though. I don't think I've ever been "on" the studying mode.

Originally Posted by OptimistPrime

In the process, you might encounter people and opportunities that would allow you to skip college altogether (unless college is something you're really interested in experiencing for its own sake; it wasn't clear from your post) and go directly into the post-college jobs/work you talked about being interested in.

This would be amazing. I do want to go to college, but I think I'd like it more if I could go at my own pace while my main focus is on my work.

Originally Posted by FelineNostalgia

Definitely , don t force yourself into collage if you are unsure or unready, it's an expensive mistake

Originally Posted by Somnium Dico

Seconded. Take it from someone who made that expensive mistake. Went through two years of Art School and $10,000 in debt before realizing my major wasn't what I wanted to do. ... It's a big commitment, so make sure you're choosing something you'd want to commit TO.

I'm worried I'll never feel sure. :/


Thank you for all the replies so far! I need to finally decide what I want to do next.

[ZephyrusX]

Most universities/colleges will allow you to enrol in open studies where you can take courses on a part-time basis without requiring you to declare a major. Why not take a couple of courses in a field of your interest, get involved in campus life and see how you like it?

I don't think traveling would bring much clarity to your life. It is normal for students to feel uncertain at the beginning of their studies and a lot of students do end up changing their majors mid-way through their undergraduate studies. A lot of students also end up in jobs that were not related to their degree.

Why not travel simply for the fun of it? Spend one semester taking open studies, spend the next semester travelling (having fun!) and thinking about your experience. Seriously, if you have the opportunity to travel, take it! I can you that I'll jump on a plane and head to Greece or Italy the moment I get the opportunity to do so!

[OptimistPrime]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

Most universities/colleges will allow you to enrol in open studies where you can take courses on a part-time basis without requiring you to declare a major. Why not take a couple of courses in a field of your interest, get involved in campus life and see how you like it?

This was what I did, at my local community college. One semester of that and I knew positively whether college was right for me or not. (It wasn't.)

[reveur]

Wow, I'm amazed reading this thread. I was looking for a suitable category to post my own thread when I found this thread.

What I wanted to post in a new thread was exactly the same as this one. Well, not exactly the same because I've finished my college so the plans are slightly different. I'm 22 going on 23 and I really love traveling. I'm also struggling for that matter now, but I won't redirect your thread to be talking about my problem.

In my opinion, college will give you precious social experiences but you don't really have to take college if your dream is to travel RTW. You've already had a skill and a job you can work to be dependent, right? If yes, nothing holds you back.

Just be sure about what is your dream and where you are going to live your life.
1. If you think you might need the college, I suggest you not to delay it because most people who delay taking college, end up not taking it at all.
2. If you think you live to travel (like me), and do things you like in the world, which don't require college, just go and live your dream. We don't have eternity to do things only because of what people think the best for us. You know better.

Bottom line is, take college if you want and need it. Don't take college just because people think you need to/because you think that's something a graduated high school students are supposed to do. Don't base your decision on what people would think about you.

If you want to talk further about this, you can PM me. Maybe we can work something out to help you think more clearly. We are facing kinda the same problem, anyway. And I work online, too. Don't give up!

[Maugrassia]

Dude. No kidding, but YOU ARE ME. You are me, right now, right here, after barely graduating high school... ALL of your interests are mine. Awesome.

I've spent the entire day deciding if I should go or not. I've finally concluded I'm going to take some transferable, requisite classes. Just two or three this fall semester, then allow some time for me to figure out what I'm doing while also working part-time in fast food.

I swear to God, if we knew each other outside of the forums, we'd be best friends.

[Plays With Life]

merveilles! You are so lovely.

Originally Posted by merveilles

Okay, I'm 21, and my family keeps pushing me to finally start college this fall. I keep going back and forth in my head about what I really want to do next.

Part of me would love to spend the rest of this year just taking it slow, doing things my way.. get a job, save up as much money as I can, then spend the first half of 2012 traveling. I'd love to spend a few months in Southeast Asia, then maybe a month in Europe. Then I could come home (to the US) in the summer and get ready to officially finally start school.

Or I could always do some RTW trip after I get my degree. Then I think what would it really be like if I started school this fall. I'm so restless. I barely graduated high school because I just stopped going to class and stopped doing the assignments (and it's not like I was lazy; I spent a lot of that time at home writing code for my websites). If I start college this fall I'm worried I would just bullsiht my way through and try to get a degree ASAP. I want to go to college when I feel ready to settle down and focus so I can get the most out of it.

I would vote for travelling, and no college. I travelled after high school for about 5 years. In my experience, what happens is you start meeting new people, encountering lots of ways to make money, and learning that you do actually have the capacity to support yourself financially. That's what happened for me, anyways. I didn't go to college, and I've never had any trouble making money. If going to college, for you, is based on a belief that you need to go to college to make any real money - I would say travel would challenge that belief. And that can only lead to good things. You'll meet loads of people who travel for pleasure long term. You'll be able to talk to them about how they make their money. There will be lots of creative, interesting ways that people make money. And you'll meet people who make significant money without a college degree.

If college is something you want to do simply because you want to do it, then I would vote for doing it exactly at the moment you feel that you want to do it. In other words, if you have to push yourself to do it - you don't really want to do it right now. Go for what you do *really want* to do. It takes a leap of faith, especially when everyone around you is encouraging you to do something else. But it will be a leap into a period of passion and inspiration - and just plain fun. In my opinion, making that leap is one of the most important things a person can do for their own development. When that inspiration leads you to start college, you'll be doing it because you *really want* to do it. Your time at college will be grounded in passion and inspiration, just like your time travelling.

Originally Posted by merveilles

I'm just so unsure of everything. If I spend one more year "living out in the real world" will I finally get this restlessness out of my system and be able to settle down?

My guess is, actually: No. In my experience, the "travel bug" tends to become stronger the more you travel. I think you if you travelled for a year, your desire to travel would become even stronger.

And also - I'm just so enchanted with you.

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by merveilles

I'm still thinking over everything, but right now college sounds miserable. If there's something I want to do, I'd prefer to move directly towards it. If I don't know how to do it, I'll do some research and set up my own self-study program, and learn everything as I go. With college I'd have to take required classes and study things I'm not interested in, and I can see myself spacing out and daydreaming about what I could be doing instead. I think what bothers me the most is that I wouldn't be able to choose and have control over every thing I do.

I totally know what you mean. I have a very similar attitude about learning. I'm very self-directed. It's always worked for me. I've learned everything I've needed to do to achieve anything I wanted to achieve through self-study. I just want to give you the message that: Yes, it is possible. College (or other institution-directed learning) is not necessary to learn the things you want to learn. You absolutely can go through your life learning everything you want or need the way you described here.

Originally Posted by merveilles

I do want to go to college. It seems like an invaluable place of focused, intense learning, and I'd be able to get help and advice from people with much more experience than me. I keep going back and forth in my head and stressing myself out. :/

You could take a class at a community college and see how you feel about it. I did take one class at a community college. I decided I didn't like the experience of being "taken through" something I wanted to learn about. Even though the professor was great - I liked him a lot - even though the class was great - even though I did learn some interesting things - I don't enjoy the experience having my actions and focus directed by another person. He obviously knew what he was talking about, and he did direct us (and me) into learning particular things. But my personal preference is to direct my own actions and my own focus. You're capable of learning both ways - through self-directed learning, or through other-directed learning. I think an important point to consider is whether you enjoy one or the other more. Knowing which you enjoy more will contribute to your clarity on the subject - and help you with coming to a decision.

Originally Posted by merveilles

In your opinion, how would traveling make a difference? One thing I worry about is what if I did travel for a while, and then I get home and still don't feel ready for college?

Then you travel some more!

Originally Posted by merveilles

I'm worried I'll never feel sure. :/

You might not be before making a decision. But, you could give one or the other a try, temporarily, in order to help you decide. Sometimes I do this when I'm not really sure which of two (or more) options I like the most. I'll just pick one, any one, arbitrarily - and give it a go. Just run with it. You can always change direction mid-experiment, and go with one of the other options. Just trying one should get you into the reality of you feel about it in a way you can't ignore. Once you know, for a certainty, how you feel about the choice - then it will become clear which of the two you really want to do.

[Plays With Life]

Also -

Originally Posted by merveilles

Being a web designer and developer for so long suited me because I could focus on making things function flawlessly, be gorgeous to look at and easy to use/intuitive. If I could carry that kind of focus over into some sort of career having to do with technology (specifically creating intelligent programs/AI) I would be pretty happy.

Good Lord it's sexy that you want to write AI.

[KaleidoskopicVision]

Choose travel, for all the reasons PWL said to choose travel. I have been avoiding college for 4 years now and am turning 21 soon. The decision seems better and better each day, as I learn just how freely accessible all the information you receive in college for boatloads of cash is. One of my largest motivations for going to college was fear based. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to support myself financially and that I was going to 'waste my intellect'. To the first, I can say that not having gone to college has made me realize just how brilliant and innovative my inner entrepreneur is. To the second, I can't imagine how much of a waste of time sitting in a classroom digesting the same information millions of other shmucks are paying to digest would be, and all that to be spat out of the big ol' college machine with generally the same exact thing everyone else got out of it. How utterly stagnant.

I like to call myself an apprenticing shaman, my teachers are the many wonderful and interesting people I meet and the novel life experiences I am having without the rigorous and structured guidance which would choke out all but the smallest happenstance.

[joelr]

I knew a lot of women like you when I was at college age. Now in mid 30's they are ALL either stay home moms or working moms with not 1 second to spare.
Not that this is a bad thing, but I would say do some traveling now.

Everyone I knew, dozens of people, they all email or FB me occasionally "Hi, sorry I haven't been in touch, crazy busy with the family...". Every personality type, outgoing, intrvoerted, goth, aspiring financial mogul, whatever, they all morphed into "parent". Just an observation but the point is that now is a good time for adventures. Even if you are still running around the world when you're 37 your friends will not be. Yeah you can make new friends and all but there's nothing like good old school buddies.
I'm glad I did a lot of that when my friends were available back then.

[CroMagna]

Are you kidding? You should definitely go to college!

It may not be what you want to here, but without a degree you'll be lucky if you even find a job in the first place in this economy.

You can look into study abroad programs that you can do while in college. In fact, I'd encourage that.

[ZephyrusX]

Merveilles: You posted this some time ago. Have you made any decisions on the matter yet? Care to share your thoughts with us?

[Silverhammer]

Wow, it's such an individual choice, eh? Personally, if I could go back in time, knowing what I know now, I probably wouldn't do the post-secondary thing. But that's not generic advice for everyone; we all have different reasons for doing things. The only advice I would give someone is to make sure that you're doing it for you - not because someone else wants you to or because you think you "should". You can get a lot out of college if you're doing it for the right reasons, but there are many ways to acquire knowledge. I can't remember who said it first, but I've always liked the comment "I've never let school interfere with my education"

[LisaDreams]

Originally Posted by merveilles

I'm just so unsure of everything. If I spend one more year "living out in the real world" will I finally get this restlessness out of my system and be able to settle down?

I don't know, but I also don't know why you need to settle down. I think you can do all of the things you wrote about, so go towards what really pulls you. I finished high school a year early and moved to Spain, then came back and went to college, then worked in jobs where I traveled a lot ... I believe you get the most out of your life when you go towards what you most want.

Lisa

[merveilles]

Thank you for all of the replies!

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

Merveilles: You posted this some time ago. Have you made any decisions on the matter yet? Care to share your thoughts with us?

Well.. What I'm thinking right now is I'll just spend the next year doing whatever interests me at the moment. I'm going to try to get as much out of it as I can, like 3 years worth of stuff in one year! In half a year, if I still feel as confused as I do right now, I'll probably just start school in Fall 2012 and work towards a career having to do with technology/AI.

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

Most universities/colleges will allow you to enroll in open studies where you can take courses on a part-time basis without requiring you to declare a major. Why not take a couple of courses in a field of your interest, get involved in campus life and see how you like it?

I'll keep this in mind!

Originally Posted by reveur

If you think you live to _____, and do things you like in the world, which don't require college, just go and live your dream. We don't have eternity to do things only because of what people think the best for us. You know better.

This. edited a little though :P

Originally Posted by reveur

If you want to talk further about this, you can PM me. Maybe we can work something out to help you think more clearly. We are facing kinda the same problem, anyway. And I work online, too. Don't give up!

Thank you. And sure, if you're still interested.

Originally Posted by Maugrassia

Dude. No kidding, but YOU ARE ME. You are me, right now, right here, after barely graduating high school... ALL of your interests are mine. Awesome.

I've spent the entire day deciding if I should go or not. I've finally concluded I'm going to take some transferable, requisite classes. Just two or three this fall semester, then allow some time for me to figure out what I'm doing while also working part-time in fast food.

I swear to God, if we knew each other outside of the forums, we'd be best friends.

lol where do you live? :P and good luck figuring things out.

Originally Posted by Plays With Life

If going to college, for you, is based on a belief that you need to go to college to make any real money - I would say travel would challenge that belief.

This is more what my family believes. I'm not really worried about money. I think I'm most worried that I won't find anything fulfilling/worthwhile to do with my life.

Originally Posted by Plays With Life

If college is something you want to do simply because you want to do it, then I would vote for doing it exactly at the moment you feel that you want to do it. In other words, if you have to push yourself to do it - you don't really want to do it right now. Go for what you do *really want* to do. It takes a leap of faith, especially when everyone around you is encouraging you to do something else. But it will be a leap into a period of passion and inspiration - and just plain fun. In my opinion, making that leap is one of the most important things a person can do for their own development. When that inspiration leads you to start college, you'll be doing it because you *really want* to do it. Your time at college will be grounded in passion and inspiration, just like your time travelling.

This is just beautiful.

Originally Posted by Plays With Life

And also - I'm just so enchanted with you.

Originally Posted by Plays With Life

I don't enjoy the experience having my actions and focus directed by another person.

I don't either. :/

Originally Posted by Plays With Life

But, you could give one or the other a try, temporarily, in order to help you decide. Sometimes I do this when I'm not really sure which of two (or more) options I like the most. I'll just pick one, any one, arbitrarily - and give it a go. Just run with it. You can always change direction mid-experiment, and go with one of the other options. Just trying one should get you into the reality of you feel about it in a way you can't ignore. Once you know, for a certainty, how you feel about the choice - then it will become clear which of the two you really want to do.

I'll keep this in mind too.

Originally Posted by KaleidoskopicVision

...as I learn just how freely accessible all the information you receive in college for boatloads of cash is. ... I can't imagine how much of a waste of time sitting in a classroom digesting the same information millions of other shmucks are paying to digest would be.

This, too. And, I think I'd get less out of it, being forced to go at a pace that's not right for me (too slow, too fast..).

Originally Posted by KaleidoskopicVision

I like to call myself an apprenticing shaman, my teachers are the many wonderful and interesting people I meet and the novel life experiences I am having without the rigorous and structured guidance which would choke out all but the smallest happenstance.

I've learned a lot from every person I've met. I do like being open to whatever feels right at the moment. I'm bad at sticking to a time frame.

Originally Posted by joelr

Everyone I knew, dozens of people, they all email or FB me occasionally "Hi, sorry I haven't been in touch, crazy busy with the family...". Every personality type, outgoing, introverted, goth, aspiring financial mogul, whatever, they all morphed into "parent". Just an observation but the point is that now is a good time for adventures. Even if you are still running around the world when you're 37 your friends will not be. Yeah you can make new friends and all but there's nothing like good old school buddies.
I'm glad I did a lot of that when my friends were available back then.

Yea, I want to be young, while I AM young.

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Are you kidding? You should definitely go to college!

It may not be what you want to here, but without a degree you'll be lucky if you even find a job in the first place in this economy.

You can look into study abroad programs that you can do while in college. In fact, I'd encourage that.

This is exactly how my family feels about this.

Originally Posted by Silverhammer

Personally, if I could go back in time, knowing what I know now, I probably wouldn't do the post-secondary thing.

Why is that?

Originally Posted by Silverhammer

You can get a lot out of college if you're doing it for the right reasons, but there are many ways to acquire knowledge. I can't remember who said it first, but I've always liked the comment "I've never let school interfere with my education"

This is interesting.

Originally Posted by LisaDreams

I believe you get the most out of your life when you go towards what you most want.

I think so too. I read something useful the other day, that made me realize that lately I always think myself out of anything I want to do. I need to spend less time thinking, and more time just experimenting. (what a fitting ending to such a long post )

[Maugrassia]

I actually live in St. Louis. I'm glad you revisited this topic!