what is this life ..??

[CLOCKWORKSC]

have any of you people felt as if life is a boring drag, you get up go to work come home eat watch rubbish tv then start again, until payday whe you realise this is why you work to get paid and you enoy your money or what money you have to spend after paying for X.

have you ever felt bored by this groundhog day routine.

what do you do..??

im a 34 year old boy, who has been living with his girlfriend for the past 7 years, we have no children and no ties to us.. i have not yet commited to marrige yet becasue of im yet to not what i want for the future.
im not depressed quite the opposite really im a fun person, outgoing and loves having a laugh.

im just confused at what direction to take in my life.

i have thought about moving away with my g/f to somwhere nice in the UK, but cannot think of anywhere else to go and will i eventually end up in the same trap of being bored with work the " typical - 9 to 5 job ".


i have many hobbies that i enjoy, but want my life to have some sort of meaning or excitiment.

Maybe travelling would help...?

any ideas your can throw on me..??
i think alot of people are like me.
are we borderline depressives awaiting this life till we eventually fall from grace.

Daniel.


x x

[nicolesville]

Hi Daniel,

I would agree that many people experience what you have described, myself included. I relate to the current "situation" that you've found yourself in a great deal. Though I find it a very uncomfortable state, I am constantly doing "inner work" to move forward. I think the solution to this problem lie a much in choice. I truly believe that we can do whatever we want, I just think for some, figuring out what exactly (in its most specific form) it is that we want. I think that we can achieve this through experience, listening to ourselves / taking a "watchful state" of our thoughts and feelings, and by reacting accordingly. The more you get to know yourself, the more you know about what you want. I think we will spend our lives learning about our needs and wants, and all we can really do is be mindful, and ensure that we're always doing things that are true to our "true selves".

Though I don't agree 100% with everything detailed here, the Guardian's Oliver Burkeman suggests some interesting ideas:

"Few ideas have spread so rapaciously through the worlds of self-help and pop-spirituality as the notion of Finding Your Passion. Like a nasty outbreak of Dutch elm disease, it has infected entire populations, compelling publisher after publisher to use it in titles or subtitles. Motivational speakers, hypnotists and career coaches have also jumped on the passion wagon, taking a word hitherto reserved for those extra-special moments in life – making love, say, or being crucified – and applying it to the whole of it. Having found your passion, you're meant to Live Your Passion pretty much all the time. If this strikes you as exhausting, you're doing it wrong: you simply haven't found your passion yet.

It perhaps wouldn't be jaw-droppingly surprising if this manic focus on passion-finding were to have some counterproductive effects – and sure enough, Cal Newport, who runs the academic advice site Study Hacks , reports a chorus of cries for help from agonised students. They're worried they haven't found their passion; or they've found too many and can't decide between them; or their passion is working with animals, say, while their career path is electrical engineering. What all these worriers share, Newport notes, is a belief that passions are a priori, existing "out there"; that "they're some mysterious Platonic form waiting for you to discover. This is a dangerous fiction." His main point is that passion is the feeling you get from mastering a skill, not some magical quality unrelated to hard work: you create passion, rather than "finding" it, and for any given person there are probably hundreds of activities that might suit. This has deeply practical consequences. Suppose you dislike your job: if passions are a priori, you'll feel that quitting is the only path to happiness, but if passions are made, it's conceivable that doing the job differently might be an alternative answer.

Beyond that, though, it's surely debatable whether a (working) life governed by passion is necessarily that desirable anyway. For me, at least, breathless excitement about a new project is usually a sure sign that my interest is superficial and will quickly fade. Far from feeling "passionate" while doing the things that mean the most, I swing between two poles: on the one hand, grumpiness, because they're hard, and hard things make me grumpy; on the other, no discernible feelings at all, because I've slipped into the state of total absorption that the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls "flow". And don't get me started on managers who seek to "cultivate passion" in employees. If "finding one's passion" means anything, it's surely an intrinsically personal process. The act of presuming to help me with it, when you've got a vested financial interest in the fruits of that effort, is doomed from the start, no matter how well-meaning you may be.

More generally, Newport suggests, demystifying passion "is liberating. It frees you from obsession over whether you are doing the 'right' thing with your life." Almost any interest "can be transformed into a passion with hard work, so there's no reason to sweat choices such as [a university degree] or your first post-college career." If you're fortunate enough to have the opportunity, just pick something that interests you, he counsels. Then work hard at it. "Passion" may not be worth getting too excited about."


Oliver Burkeman
The Guardian, Saturday 12 December 2009
This column will change your life: The passion for passions | Life and style | The Guardian

[rodav]

Been there. Spent years in 9 - 5 routine. Couldn't leave the place because of family concerns (that's what I thought). Until finally I felt I couldn't breath anymore. I really felt like I was drowning. I became indifferent. I'm glad I was still able to take the leap before my spirit completely became numbed. It was totally liberating.

I still had the sense to prepare before I took the leap. You just have to figure out how you would go about it. I just knew then that I can't go on anymore. It's courage, I guess, to go against a lot of things including what I believed in for so long. And, realizing that I have other options.

I do know a lot of people trapped in this situation, thinking they have no options and fearing what lies beyond their comfort zones. I can only say that beyond our comfort zones is liberation and control and fulfillment.

[Clint Cora]

You say you have many hobbies but it doesn't sound like you have found your passions yet. Those who have and are actively doing their passions do not find life boring. Also, you might want to consider finding a career path that you would enjoy too. That makes a big difference. The bottom line is that if you enjoy what you do in life, there's no room for boredom.

[Asmoday]

Daniel,

I hit that exact place in my life, at one point. My suggestion might sound morbid, but all I can do is show you what worked for me. Spending some time staring death in the face will crumble that sleep and revitalize that connection to true self, which has become so lost and numb.

Death and Finding Your Purpose

Good luck!

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Asmoday

Daniel,

I hit that exact place in my life, at one point. My suggestion might sound morbid, but all I can do is show you what worked for me. Spending some time staring death in the face will crumble that sleep and revitalize that connection to true self, which has become so lost and numb.

Death and Finding Your Purpose

Good luck!

Great article Asmoday.

I think it's good practice for people to start thinking about death daily, instead of avoiding the subject. I think I recall the Tibetan Book of the Dead encouraging just that, when I read it years ago.

I haven't done the things you have suggested before, though I did used to meditate on the obits when I was in my late teens, and came to the same conclusion, and had the experience you spoke of, where in you start to value every second of your life more and more when you realize that death could take you at any moment.

I also would make a point of looking at roadkill and observe my feelings, so those are two things that definitely do give you greater insight into your own feelings about death.

It introduces a sense of exhilaration into your life that most never really experience...but can if they make the effort to be brave and face the inevitable head on.

[nzmegs]

Lots of people talk about finding their passion, but I tend to beleive that we can't find what we really love until we have tried a few things out. Who knows, you might love cake decorating, but are yet to give it a go.

Take a few months to try ten new things and see which direction it takes you.

if you are bored with the old nine to five you have to take steps to change it. the change won't come knocking. this means working towards you goal in coherent steps.

For me the change i needed was quitting my job to work for myself as a writer. I visualised the steps i needed to take and I took them. it was abiout two years before i was off the treadmill and living the life i wanted. Best thing i ever did though.

[ZenPhysicist]

Originally Posted by Asmoday

Daniel,

I hit that exact place in my life, at one point. My suggestion might sound morbid, but all I can do is show you what worked for me. Spending some time staring death in the face will crumble that sleep and revitalize that connection to true self, which has become so lost and numb.

Death and Finding Your Purpose

Good luck!

Tight post. I saw a piece on the TV show "Taboo" about this practice being done in S. Korea.