Self Esteem, Value, Worth, Growth, And Realization

[Carey Herbert]

I've only been a member here for a few days, and already I see quite a common theme. People posting something about their insecurities, or lack of self esteem in one area or another. Then a whole bunch of people playing the mentor/therapist role, trying to make them feel better. I know that can really help in times of need, or lacking, but it seems to be a self limiting practice if it's a repeated cycle.

Others can really help, and encourage during situations that we just can't seem to see the light for ourselves, but that should only be a temporary fix, or helping hand when we need to get back on our feet again. Ultimately, self worth, self esteem, value, strength, and courage all come from within, and no one else is ever going to just somehow "give" that to you.

I know that may be somewhat harsh, and if I came across as such, I really didn't mean it to be. I just want the best for every individual, because I believe in the power of humanity. However, great change/accomplishments cannot be attained until self esteem, and value are realized by a larger group, made up of strong, and confident individuals, who know who they are. Then a bigger task can be undertaken, by a GROUP. It's not about the individual. I don't mean to hurt any feelings here, but if a single individual makes a habit of being needy, or asking and wanting, then that individual is not doing their part for the greater good of humanity. Self esteem, and self respect, are the result of great accomplishments. They are slowly attained, then I believe a plateau of realization is reached, where the individual is ready to take on their purpose in life.

When I accomplish a new goal, my self- esteem is reinforced. Self-esteem should be a gauge with which we deem ourselves worthy, or capable of accomplishing or even undertaking our next big endeavor, not a “thing” that should even be focused on itself. Do you look at, or hope, or pray for the gas gauge in your car to go up, without doing the obvious thing that Will make it go up?

[Mynder]

So, what is your conclusion? You have pointed out what you perceive as a flaw. What is your suggestion on how to proceed?

How can people who are not yet in a place of self-esteem accomplish what you are expressing here? How do they get to that place that you consider the basis of really advancing?

I am not bashing your post, by the way. I want to elicit a solution-centric response that will both help people advance in the manner you describe, and lay out a foundation for discussion.

You've put the finger on a (subjectively) sore spot, which is good. Now what do we do with it that we know it is there?

[Andras]

A lot of members/posters here fell into the "guru trap". They have read a few books on ACIM, LoA, maybe attended seminars of Steve or others and all of the sudden decided that they are "teachers". Even I sometimes fall into this trap. Offering advice unsolicited (or solicited). It is part of the new age (self-help) phenomena. Everybody is doing it and everybody is an "adept" or a "lightworker", a "life-coach" or some other high-faluting name. there is some money in it, but not really - the field is saturated by "experts", just go to any phychic fair, self-help meeting....
But seriously what else can a forum such as this be? I have asked questions here and I got very high quality responses and at the same time I got responses that were ludicrous. This is the American way...My favorite is that fat idiot, Dr. Phil (an Oprah protege) offering weight advice for others when he, is a fat slob.....precious...

[James81]

Well, I've been a member here for a couple of years, and I can tell you that there are all sorts of different types of threads and people here. And there are lots of different personalities here.

The fact that you've honed into ONE specific type of personality, says a lot about you if you're willing to look at it. Not many people are, though, so I'll understand if you don't believe me.

[Swifthawk]

Originally Posted by Andras

A lot of members/posters here fell into the "guru trap". They have read a few books on ACIM, LoA, maybe attended seminars of Steve or others and all of the sudden decided that they are "teachers". Even I sometimes fall into this trap. Offering advice unsolicited (or solicited). It is part of the new age (self-help) phenomena. Everybody is doing it and everybody is an "adept" or a "lightworker", a "life-coach" or some other high-faluting name. there is some money in it, but not really - the field is saturated by "experts", just go to any phychic fair, self-help meeting....
But seriously what else can a forum such as this be? I have asked questions here and I got very high quality responses and at the same time I got responses that were ludicrous. This is the American way...My favorite is that fat idiot, Dr. Phil (an Oprah protege) offering weight advice for others when he, is a fat slob.....precious...

I agree. It is so easy to merely become a "salesman" when speaking with people instead of talking to them in a genuine way. I believe that there needs to be a balance between a person expressing their opinion on something they truly do have expertise in and the person being willing to sit and listen on a topic they dont know much of.