|05-24-2011, 11:35 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Need constructive help on how to find out "What do I want?"
Hello, awesome SP-community,
I was hoping that I could get some new ideas or input from you on how to move on from my current level of stuckness.
I have been on the Personal Development Path for some time now, even went to a CGW in Vegas, and I am currently spending a lot of time in this area. I have felt a lot of dissatisfaction over the last ten years (I'm in my mid-twenties now), and it's gotten a lot better, but ultimately, what it all boils down to, is the question: "What do I (really) want?"
I want this to be as constructive as possible, and I am not trying to turn this into a pity party. I just want to move on!
I have never been a very driven, passionate person, but at the same time I am usually dissatisfied with the status quo. It bores me, but it doesn't turn me into someone who dreams big. I admire Steve's vision and passion and purpose, but have been unable to find one myself. I often think: "Maybe purpose isn't for everyone?"
Enough blabla - how do I find out what I really want, on a level that excites me and pushes me to take action? I can write down goals, but they don't excite me. I always think "it's ok if i have it, or if I don't."
I'm kind of a self-help addict, reading tons of stuff, and slowly started applying my knowledge, but at the base of most of these products is the question "What do you want? Define your goal!"
So that's why I feel like I'm stuck.
Maybe someone with similar experiences can give me a hint on how to MOVE ON, for chrissakes!
|05-31-2011, 02:50 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2008
Anyways, it is really important for me to pinpoint that it was a super duper impressive response :P
So what you do is say screw it about all this life purpose jabber. Then pick out one of the goals that would be "kinda cool" to have achieved.
Have you done it?
Sit down for 15 minutes every day and just think about that goal. You dont have to do anything else but that. You dont even have to try getting anything done to reach the goal. Just think about it every day.
The irony is that your motivation level, wich start out at a level 0, will increase slowly day by day. By doing this, you`ll become really excited and really motivated. And the mor you think about what you want, the more excited amd motivated you get. This is the point where you begin to fullfill your desires and live a purposefull life. And higher and higher level type desires will just pop into your head.
Stop reading and start thinking. It`s the hardest work you`ll ever do.
Last edited by lifeforce; 05-31-2011 at 03:06 AM.
|05-31-2011, 04:11 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2011
Help Finding Out What You Want
Ironically, I found this site from a free MP3 of one of Steve's older blogs where he talks about finding your purpose. The thing is that finding your purpose just helps you get focused on who you are, so you can then set goals according to what you want to do and have.
It would seem very natural for your purpose to change with each stage of life. Here's the link to his blog on it:
The Meaning of Life: Discover Your Purpose
Hope that helps!
|05-31-2011, 06:30 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Davis, California
you will find what you want when you come up with and altruistic act that both satisfy your creative needs as well as serve a greater purpose to benefit of others. This can be any profession that has the element of mutual benefit; a healer/nurse, teacher, artist, grass-root activist, priest, writer, web/graphics designer, gardener, dog or cat sitter/trainer etc etc.
If you just think of what will serve your needs, alone, you will go from things to things, never truly finding peace and comfort. Money is not enough in itself. Acts of creativity is not to serve you, it is to serve others.
|06-02-2011, 01:57 AM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2011
Well this is a question that everyone asks themselves, and many have the same problem. The funny thing is that you dont know if you want it until you do. Given the example of someone who dreamed of being a Doctor, got it, then realized it was not what they had imagined. With todays world of people doing things to gain money, the real importance of life gets mixed and lost. I think it comes down to "What do people want" to answer this you have to look at evolution and the science of areselves combined with are conscience. The overwhelming answer is personal happiness. This would include a very strong relationship, a marriage and kids if you want. Your motivation should be to build a life that is directed towards accomplishing these goals. In the old world this would include being a badass and being a great hunter...the ability to provide. Some people need to work in two's. If you found a person you loved and they happened to be really into charity and changing the world, odds are you could get behind that. I have imagined and gone down many roads looking for what I want, but usually it hits a dead end. I really only want to have fun and have a person to do that with. Its and emotionally based world, which they try to present as a Material world.
|06-02-2011, 02:56 AM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2007
Andras has a great point. And don't worry if you still haven't found "it", I'm 29, I'm still refining. Now I've finally found something where I can provide service and it also makes me money
I have to say it feeds itself too. At first it might be "interesting" stuff, but as soon as you get positive feedback(you see it's really useful to people), you want to do MORE Especially when the by-product is money, which kind of nicely validates the usefulness of what you provide. There are more ways of course.
Anyway, rather than building "some goals" maybe try to think about what is important for your life, and how to achieve more of it, OR, just how you can help out with what you've got. The service to others really is the basics...something very interesting might come out of it!
|06-02-2011, 03:20 AM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2011
I agree with those who are saying just "Do". Sitting around thinking about the right thing to pursue is like throwing time down the toilet. I am not saying that contemplation is all bad, but it has to be done in moderation.
Just try and pursue one of your goals, even if you end up not liking it and quit you will have gained some experience. But you also have to make sure that you are not quitting because it is to tough, nothing worth it has ever been attained without some difficulty.
Just keep moving and trying different things and your passion is sure to turn up.
|06-02-2011, 09:39 AM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2009
thank you, everyone, for your inspiring posts. I am big on contemplating my life away, and I don't want to waste my time. I will get in the habit of doing things... baby-steps towards happiness!
Maybe these concepts - life purpose, true calling, etc... - can be an aid to some people, but for me it slows down progress because I'm always questioning every step I take and compare myself to others. And maybe one day I will have enough experience, so that a clear image of my life purpse pops out of nowhere - who knows?
|06-11-2011, 08:31 PM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2011
You are asking the right question for starters. The key is to know who you are, and then based on factors such as your strengths, values and so forth you can determine what you want. I have tons of questions in step one of my goal setting and motivation program that should help you. You could also try working with a coach as well. Another option is to start journalling to gain this clarity. What are you doing for a living at this point? Does that give you any clues?
Check out all the questions in my goal setting program to get you started. I look forward to knowing how you make out.
|06-12-2011, 04:23 AM||#10 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Mississauga, On Canada
I think you have to look at all the different areas of your life including health, career, relationships, etc. and decide what would be close to the ideal life for you. You have to include your passions as well.
Many people do not know what their passions are because they never had the luxury of pursuing them because of busy lives, which is a real shame. The easiest way to find out what your passions are is the answer the question - if you didn't have to worry about money and didn't have to work, what would you do on Monday morning? How will you start spending your time? You may need to think about this but if you really dig deep, you will start to have some very revealing answers.
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