Long term goal planning

[onomotopeia]

I'm feeling constantly stuck and scattered. I flit from goal to goal and leave a trail of poor quality obligations. Right now, I'm disgusted with myself and paralyzed from action.

I've tried to tackle this problem from multiple perspectives, but I think the planning aligning perspective is really the key. I do research in a field that doesn't make much money and which really stretches my weaknesses. Not only cannot I not perform the way that I want, but I am constantly afraid that I am going to lose my job.

While I want to retrain to switch careers, I am stuck in figuring this out. I also cannot move forward with this, as I need to work part time. But the only field that I can work in that pays above the bare minimum is in a job which demands all my mental energy.

I tried to plan for taking the GRE and getting freelance tutoring going to make some money. But I feel that these investments aren't solid. I feel that they don't relate to what I want to do and feel silly for wasting my time on them as they are things I can't put on my resume.

So, I'm stuck in confusion and judgement. I am trying to figure out how to identify what commitments I can make without stopping my life.

-o