|04-19-2011, 11:21 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2006
Feeling grateful - Not giving up on being true to oneself.
It's been a wonderful woah 5 days, spent tuning in my true nature.
This transformation was brought by comments made by people here, something in the tune of you attract who you are, and you determine the value...After taking those comments to heart, I was attracted towards events and places that would validate that wisdom. Manifestations of appreciation, kindness, positive messages started to appear, out of nowhere and from the most unlikely people.
I thought: What if I choose to believe, that people attract who they are, if I decide who I am is awesome, so I will attract awesome situations, people, events.
Today, I went to buy a magazine called Spirit and Destiny, I jokingly said to the vendor I hoped my destiny was to win the lottery. ( I didn't have any cash to buy the magazine, at first, and had to withdraw money and come back.)
To make a long story short, he told me I was already wealthy, with my beautiful smile, good personality and attitude. He said: That's all the wealth you need.
- It was like being in a movie, or in a parallel reality. It felt like this guy was just a messenger from a different plane of consciousness, or a subconscious projection.It was almost like he had been instructed to deliver that line. It was something that I really needed to hear.
It started to go to the dark side, after a lot of tiredness, struggle, lack of suppport the past months.It was not like polarizing as a darkworker, which would be a choice, something at least, self-directed, but a slow fall into doubt, as I was too tired to believe.
A woman who was a gold digger, crass, a liar and user, started to be the devil on my shoulder, whispering I was an idiot to think people appreciated others for what they truly were - She also echoed my belief that men betray you once you start expressing love, and that it's better to be superficially attractive and reap the benefits of shallowness.
I was in a grim work environment where it took energy to keep smiling.Yet, I stubbornly chose not to be the gloom-bearer but the light bearer. In my mind I thought, well, if I'm dead to myself, then I'm dead to the world, and going through a day frowning and not showing humanness, is the slow death of the soul.
I thought people disliked me because I refused to bow to corporate gloom. Frankly, I didn't see how not saying hello to coworkers and not smiling improved productivity in any way.
I thought my boss was sabotaging my chances at permanent employment. She had a very competitive streak and I thought she wanted me out of that place.
Nevertheless, I decided not to do anything to sabotage her work or to outshine or outdo her, and not to engage in any competition with her. I basically refused to be the slave of fear, especially fear of unemployment and lack of money.
She has now written to ask for my c.v as a position will open in about 2 months.
I had found myself at a point where I was trying to be as inauthentic as possible to survive, distancing from showing my true colors - and now, I'm finally reaping the fruit of persisting in my truth.
The pay-off for all this unauthenticity was to save energy to explore the things and subjects I'm passionate about, in my time off. I just thought I was spending too much energy to go against the flow,I was really a salmon swimming upstream, and I wanted to use that precious energy to explore the wealth of culture this new city has to offer, and inspire new creations.
To the people who have candidly shared their outlook, I am very grateful. I carried your words with me through my day, somehow trusting that others could see things I couldn't see, or perceived a different reality than struggling to be oneself, or struggling in the world.
Thank you and I hope this will have a snowballing effect and impact positively all that come here.
|04-21-2011, 05:07 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2011
Aye the Law of Attraction and divine intervention at its finest. Of course it doesn't have to necessarily be these two 'forces', but that's how I see them as. If you don't, it's all good as well. Whatever makes you be more happy and in tune with yourself is all good!
I hope you find more bless in your life! I am as well! I intended for my garbage to be cleaned, and whoa they are all cleaned up. The most direct solution is usually the right solution, but we put up a lot of resistance up in taking them sometimes.
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