Feeling like a failure

[onomotopeia]

I know that absolutes are damning, but I'm feeling stuck and worthless.

Right now, I work part-time in a research field that strains my weaknesses. It barely pays my bills. I am stuck paying off my school loans.

I contemplate switching, but I get stuck and am bad at making inferences about my interests. I have many, but it's hard to push through frustration. I don't have recommendation letters at hand and I haven't been able to have much success recently because I'm stuck in an office writing lit reviews.

It's hard not to let the worries about the imbalances in other (every) part of my life bleed in. Right now, I also am frustrated that I have such imbalanced friendships. I've been there for friends in the past, and try and build relationships on mutual interests, but my friends will off and on ignore me.

I'm feeling overwhelmed. I know the secret is to tackle this bit by bit, but then I review my life and it's all a mess right now and it's been a mess in the past and it's hard to see a point where I can ever change things.

[dreamlearner]

I know how you feel.This feeling of completely overwhelmed and helplessness must be dealt with.Always think:you can do this.

[MichaelAnthonyVet]

This article might help you figure things out and put them into perspective:

What Am I Meant To Do In Life: Discover Your Life Purpose in Thirty Steps

[Louis Savalli]

I'm always going to recommend awareness awareness awareness.

In my experience, what seems like a set of problems or issues at one level of awareness doesn't really matter at the next level. During my own personal development, I did a lot of critical thinking about my current problems and how to solve them, but I wasn't getting anywhere until I began increasing my awareness.

It's perspective. Gaining awareness is like stepping back and seeing the big picture. And the more you step back, the less important some of the problems seem.

[martydrury]

Well, a good first step would be a disconnect from the feelings of being stuck and overwhelmed from the feeling of being worthless.

You said it yourself: you feel like a failure.

You didn't say: "I feel amazing but I'm stuck at the moment".

There's a massive belief feedback loop going on where you feel bad about yourself because things in your life are stuck or "in a mess". And you feeling bad stops the access to your confidence and your resources which then makes it difficult for you to solve problems and deal with the things that need to be dealt with.

So protect the self. Your life being messed up right now doesn't mean you're a bad person or a failure. Some of the most successful people in the world go through bad patches. Some of them even go through years and years of things being "messed up" before they succeed at anything.

Fact of the matter: you've got this far in life. You were born and you were vulnerable. And yet, you got through it. Things changed and you changed. You made things happened. You though you couldn't do something and then you surprised yourself with the results you got.

This time of things being messed up will pass. All things have their time. Protect yourself, look at what is draining you, really connect with the person you are now and ask yourself: what do I want and how will I know when I've got it?

[onomotopeia]

Thanks for everyone's advice. I don't feel like I thank people enough here, before launching into further complaint.

[earthmoonchild]

When I feel overwhelmed and I want to get everything fixed at once I just overwhelm myself even more and I get stuck and do nothing.

Find one area to work on first. A simple one. Something manageable.

You could start with taking time to declutter your head by meditating 5 minutes a day. Next week do 10, etc. Taking time to do this can help a lot with sorting out what you want and need in your life. You could be amazed at how 10-20 minutes of quiet in your head, breathing gently can refocus your mind.