Making Permanent Changes?

[DeepGrowth]

Hello fellow 'Smart People'

I feel as though my efforts in making my life better through personal development ideas are only temporary - that is, they are only effective when I think and act on them. 'Decisions' that I make eventually fizzle out and I'm always having to reinforce the idea consciously to function at more ideal levels.

For example, I want to exercise because it makes you healthy and improves your energy levels. I can only continue for say 3 weeks and then things begin to fade into the background and for me to exercise again I'd have to write it down and think about it daily to make sure I do it. How can it become automatic? It becomes very difficult trying to do the right thing in all the areas of your life when there are literally thousands of ideas to apply.

Three more difficult problems:
1. How does one improve the love they express and feel on a daily basis?
2. How to improve productiveness and hard-working ethic?
3. How to apply time management principles without thinking about them? (ie. Automatically manage time in the right way)

I want to be able to build a base so that as my thoughts change, I'm not losing what I've already built. I want to build on top of my previous work so that I'm improving as time progresses, rather than simple switching between two different ideas at points in time.

Your ideas are warmly appreciated.

[DeepGrowth]

Bump.

[DeepGrowth]

Does anybody have an idea how to permanently change oneself so we automatically do all the things that are beneficial to us and our lives?

I've tried 30-Day Trials a few times and haven't succeeded in making the habits stick... what happened is for some reason I just forget my goal or my desire to work on my goal ceases to exist after 3 weeks.

Maybe visualizations, affirmations, etc...

How can I make certain ways of living as natural as eating daily? I want to make sure I do certain things on a daily basis because it all adds up over the long-run.

Help?

[buckeye]

Look at this and the thread in general.
How to cure panic attacks immediately

Forums Personal Effectiveness or Emotional Mastery might have been better for
this question.

[James81]

Well, I'm not entirely sure any change is truly "permanent." I realize that might be just a semantic point, but I think it's an important one to focus on given what you are trying to accomplish.

One of the things I"m learning in my test-taking forays, is how to work a problem backwards when you have all the answers before you. And it's eerie how similar that is to real life. The problem isn't that you don't have the answers...you do...you have all the tools and the answers you need right now. The issue is more...are you aware of it? How aware are you that you already know exactly what you need to do and how to do it?

Thus, the issue does not become about learning more things...it becomes about gaining access to the things you already know.

But that's really a tangent to the point I want to make (but necessary to the point I'm gonna make)....

My point is this...instead of trying to figure out how to make new changes in your life, why don't you take a look at your present lifestyle and "work the problem backwards" so to speak?

How did you install your current habits? Really visualize and try to remember how each and every habit you currently have became a habit to you. Was it a decision you made? Was it circumstance that seemed to drive you to your current habits? Was it beliefs, values, and identity level decisions? Is there some common purpose that your current habits are fulfilling? Take an inventory of where you currently are and how you got there.

This will give you information about yourself that will be extremely powerful to getting you where you want to be. Stuff like how you create a habit, what kind of learner are you (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, etc.), how do you process information, how do you filter, distort, or delete information that you take in, what is your personal life purpose, etc.

When you know yourself, you'll know the "how" of things. You'll know your own personal "how" and that how will inspire you.

[Verlan]

DeepGrowth, it sounds like you're talking about my life

I don't know if you use any external reminders for your goals - if you don't I think it would definitely help.

You could write an inspiring goal statement (for example "I exercise daily, feeling healthy and energetic!") and put it on a wall as reminder for your goal. Or if you're doing a 30-day trial, you can put a simple calendar on the wall, and check off each day as you finish it. It's easier to stick to your commitment when you see it daily.

[DeepGrowth]

buckeye,

Initially I thought what you wrote was trolling, as I don't believe I was having a 'panic attack.'

Reading through the posts, a few phrases stuck out at me: 'brain only learns through experience', 'not resisting emotions', 'By keeping your mind searching for answers to those questions, you engage your full mind. That makes your new approach stick. It sets deeply in your mind.',

Maybe my approach needs to consist of the doing, so that I learn through experience, but also the continual answer seeking, for example "Why do I want to adopt this new habit? How does it benefit me?"

Thank-you, I'll give it some more thought.

James81,

Wow! I think you just gave me the answer I was looking for.

Being aware that I already have the solutions and the tools...
Looking towards the past to see how other habits were formed...

Very insightful. It reminded me of the teachings of Tony Robbins. Thank-you! I shall ponder and act.

Verlan,

Haha, I'm sure our problem(s) are common among many people!

As for using an external remind, great idea! You become what you think about. Nice!

[Brutha]

Nobody does automatically always do the right thing.

It becomes very difficult trying to do the right thing in all the areas of your life when there are literally thousands of ideas to apply.

You shouldn't try to many things at once.

[buckeye]

Most any "why" question isn't very useful IMO especially about feelings or automatic behavior.
"Why do I want to adopt this new habit?"
Try to focus on something you actually sense.

What about this feeling haven't I noticed before?
How can it benefit me?
How can it help me to do ___?
How is it already helping me?

Those kind of questions activate your full mind and fully accept your feelings.
You'll see new ways to do what you want and they will "stick."

Yes, doing is powerful. It tends to engage your full mind and your senses.
Adding questions like the above to what you're doing is even more powerful.

[Hampshire Girl]

Originally Posted by James81

This will give you information about yourself that will be extremely powerful to getting you where you want to be. Stuff like how you create a habit, what kind of learner are you (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, etc.), how do you process information, how do you filter, distort, or delete information that you take in, what is your personal life purpose, etc.

When you know yourself, you'll know the "how" of things. You'll know your own personal "how" and that how will inspire you.

I'm totally with James on this one, very nicely put. Until you really know yourself, what your values are, how you learn, what makes you tick, it can be difficult to make the right changes for you, in the right way. It's like trying to reach the summit of a mountain without a compass.

[dreamlearner]

Originally Posted by DeepGrowth

Hello fellow 'Smart People'
For example, I want to exercise because it makes you healthy and improves your energy levels. I can only continue for say 3 weeks and then things begin to fade into the background and for me to exercise again I'd have to write it down and think about it daily to make sure I do it. How can it become automatic? It becomes very difficult trying to do the right thing in all the areas of your life when there are literally thousands of ideas to apply.
Three more difficult problems:
1. How does one improve the love they express and feel on a daily basis?
2. How to improve productiveness and hard-working ethic?
3. How to apply time management principles without thinking about them? (ie. Automatically manage time in the right way)
Your ideas are warmly appreciated.

deepgrowth,i will tel you about my successful experiment.i started doing exercises in dec 2010 and i was thinking same like you.I didnt press myself.In last 3 months ,i have exercised regularly.I have taken breaks in between,due to sickness,tiredness,drinking.But i always started next day.The trick is to focus on benefits.I feel very fresh after exercise and it enforces my decision.So i continued like this from last 3 months.
When you take a decision,it doesnt become rule in a day.You have to tell yourselves regularly that your decision is for good.It will be beneficial.After enough repetition and practice,the new decision will become part of your psyche.