I Feel Like I'm Shutting Myself Out

[Cheese96]

Lately its as if all this negative energy inside me isn't letting my true self in. In essence, I'm not successfully able to reach inside myself, to comfort myself, to be there for me because I am my own bully. I know the process of thinking positivley but it nevers sticks. I could tell myself I'm intelligent, beautiful, kind, and loyal but I'm always right there to put myself down.

I'm not sure if I should expell this other 'entity' from my body or embrace it for what it is. Do I force it to leave or do I look at it seperatley as its own person and say "Its okay that you say that because its just your opinion."?

I feel as though that if I try to rid myself of it completely it will come back to bite me in the butt later on, even harder than before. But if I accept it ffor what it is maybe I'll ease up on myself and realize its just what is going to happen and that's okay because it's only an opinion that my negative self has.

[RedRain]

I don't think there's any harm in trying to see what it has to say, like getting its opinion and everything.

I think it's good if you see it as its own thing and not really you, that way if you like what it says, you can listen and if you don't, then you just don't.

[supertom]

sounds like its the shadow and it needs to be embraced
YouTube - The Shadow Effect by Debbie Ford

[Cheese96]

Originally Posted by supertom

sounds like its the shadow and it needs to be embraced
YouTube - The Shadow Effect by Debbie Ford

That really caught my attention but I don't think its neccessarily the same thing. There isn't something I'm trying to feed, I'm just bullying myself, saying I'm not good enough.

Also, Debbie Ford looks like Jill Tuck from the Saw series. XD

[Lioness]

Talk back to your bully. Counter each negative thought with a couple of positive ones.

"i'm so stupid." " No, I'm really smart. I just made a mistake. It's not the end of the world."

Continue to say truthful affirmations about yourself. Trying not to think those negative thoughts doesn't work. You have to counter them and drown them out.

[AngelPsychic444]

Originally Posted by Cheese96

Lately its as if all this negative energy inside me isn't letting my true self in. In essence, I'm not successfully able to reach inside myself, to comfort myself, to be there for me because I am my own bully. I know the process of thinking positivley but it nevers sticks. I could tell myself I'm intelligent, beautiful, kind, and loyal but I'm always right there to put myself down.

I'm not sure if I should expell this other 'entity' from my body or embrace it for what it is. Do I force it to leave or do I look at it seperatley as its own person and say "Its okay that you say that because its just your opinion."?

I feel as though that if I try to rid myself of it completely it will come back to bite me in the butt later on, even harder than before. But if I accept it ffor what it is maybe I'll ease up on myself and realize its just what is going to happen and that's okay because it's only an opinion that my negative self has.

One thing that's happening to most people these days, is that their shadow side is coming out. It's almost as if we have to "shed", or release this part of ourselves. So if you feel this part coming out, don't fret too much about it. This also fall's under the heading of "ascension symtoms", with the new energies coming to earth right now. I think everyone right now, to some extent, is going through a "dark night of the soul"....so if you feel this negative part or whatever, just hang in there, try not to be too hard on yourself....it will pass.

[Cochonette]

Originally Posted by Lioness

]Trying not to think those negative thoughts doesn't work. You have to counter them and drown them out.

Amen. I did this. But it took a lot of focus. When you're ready, you'll be able to focus on making the transition. You can't just say it once and expect that negative thoughts to go away. You have to keep saying it, just over and over and over. That takes concentration. What will make you ready, that's the part I'm not sure about. I'm never sure of that because it's so unique to each person.

Anyway, you are beautiful. I am sending lovely thoughts to your self. Won't you join me?

[Velorien]

I would offer a different perspective. Don't try to replace the negative with the positive, because then you're just starting an inner war and hoping the right side wins. Instead, practice listening to the negative thoughts without arguing with them or agreeing with them, without resisting them. "It's OK for you to say that because it's your own opinion" is a good start - it means that you're disidentifying from the negative voice and remembering that you are not it. Once you can do that consistently, the voice ceases to have any power over you - it's just words, it's just a stream of data and energy, like birdsong outside the window.

When you can consistently accept the negative voice without judgement, it will weaken, because it needs you to feed it by feeling bad about it. The more it weakens, the less power it has to influence you. And the more it weakens, the more space is left for all those positive thoughts to arise out of the depths of your being unopposed.

[Cochonette]

Originally Posted by Velorien

I would offer a different perspective. Don't try to replace the negative with the positive, because then you're just starting an inner war and hoping the right side wins. Instead, practice listening to the negative thoughts without arguing with them or agreeing with them, without resisting them. "It's OK for you to say that because it's your own opinion" is a good start - it means that you're disidentifying from the negative voice and remembering that you are not it. Once you can do that consistently, the voice ceases to have any power over you - it's just words, it's just a stream of data and energy, like birdsong outside the window.

When you can consistently accept the negative voice without judgement, it will weaken, because it needs you to feed it by feeling bad about it. The more it weakens, the less power it has to influence you. And the more it weakens, the more space is left for all those positive thoughts to arise out of the depths of your being unopposed.

Are you trying to start a war between starting a war between negative and positive and "just listening to the negative thoughts, without resisting them"? I have done a lot of meditation of the sort you speak, and while it helped me phenomenally with getting past depression and anger, it didn't help me anywhere near enough with anxiety and thinking I was too stupid and not good enough. I can attest that doing as Lioness described absolutely works for the sort of problem that Cheese is having. Maybe what you suggest will be more helpful for her than it was for me, and what I suggest less useful for her, but by no means do I think you're in a position to determine for her what the case will be between the two possibilities. My experience is a huge testament to my opinion on this matter.

I also realized that making positive affirmations is in itself a kind of meditation. It's actually a kind of mantra, and that's something I never did when I was in the monastery or whatever, trying to follow a strict meditative formula... I didn't like it. But I like affirmations; they're my mantras.

[Velorien]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

Are you trying to start a war between starting a war between negative and positive and "just listening to the negative thoughts, without resisting them"?

That was not my intent. I figured that opening with "I would offer a different perspective" was enough to make it clear that I was attempting to express a subjective opinion rather than universal truth, and I am sorry if I was mistaken.

Originally Posted by Cochonette

I have done a lot of meditation of the sort you speak, and while it helped me phenomenally with getting past depression and anger, it didn't help me anywhere near enough with anxiety and thinking I was too stupid and not good enough. I can attest that doing as Lioness described absolutely works for the sort of problem that Cheese is having. (...) My experience is a huge testament to my opinion on this matter.

I'm glad that you have a method that works for you. My method works just as well for me, including the issues with which it has not helped you. I can attest that doing as I described also absolutely works for the sort of problem that Cheese is having, and feel that my experience likewise supports my opinion on this matter. Does that mean that only one of us should voice their opinion, or that one is superior to the other?

Originally Posted by Cochonette

Maybe what you suggest will be more helpful for her than it was for me, and what I suggest less useful for her, but by no means do I think you're in a position to determine for her what the case will be between the two possibilities.

Did I ever claim to be in that position?

This thread is not a contest between your way of doing things and mine. It's a discussion of different approaches that could help Cheese deal with what she terms her "negative self". Let's focus on that.

[chernobyl]

"Do not fear your negative thoughts. They are part of you. They are part of every living being."

YouTube - Shiva - Dark Impulses

Don't listen to it too often though because you may become a zombie

[Cheese96]

Originally Posted by chernobyl

"Do not fear your negative thoughts. They are part of you. They are part of every living being."

YouTube - Shiva - Dark Impulses

Don't listen to it too often though because you may become a zombie

You always have the nicest way of saying such sadistic things

Assuming I'm not mixing up my users.

[Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi]

Originally Posted by Cheese96

That really caught my attention but I don't think its neccessarily the same thing. There isn't something I'm trying to feed, I'm just bullying myself, saying I'm not good enough.

You feed this thing with your negative emotions.

Also, clearly no one would intentionally feed a parasite. They latch on and feed without your permission. The key is to recognize this. This is why your immediate response was disagreement. Also recognize that these things have survival instincts, so naturally they try to help you behave in ways that feed them.

Try a 30 day trial of finding value in everything that is said to you. The more you pull away from or push away from these unpleasant experiences, the more power you give them to make you feel a certain way.

[Cheese96]

Originally Posted by Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi

You feed this thing with your negative emotions.

Also, clearly no one would intentionally feed a parasite. They latch on and feed without your permission. The key is to recognize this. This is why your immediate response was disagreement. Also recognize that these things have survival instincts, so naturally they try to help you behave in ways that feed them.

Try a 30 day trial of finding value in everything that is said to you. The more you pull away from or push away from these unpleasant experiences, the more power you give them to make you feel a certain way.

I suppose you are right but the video refered to feeding addictions and fetishes and associated that with your dark side. Mine is just a bully, but it could be used in the same context. It was just a little too intense from what I am thinking/feeling.

[chernobyl]

Originally Posted by Cheese96

You always have the nicest way of saying such sadistic things

Yeah I know..

YouTube - Marilyn Manson-You Spin Me Right Round

[chernobyl]

Thing is, I don't even believe that people need to change.. It's your dark side and your light side put together that make you a human.

[Cheese96]

Originally Posted by chernobyl

Yeah I know..

YouTube - Marilyn Manson-You Spin Me Right Round

Dead Or Alive did it so much better. :P

[chernobyl]

Originally Posted by Cheese96

Dead Or Alive did it so much better. :P

If you like the Dead Or Alive version then you are probably gay.. or lesbian.. or both..

..And I didn't necessarily mean it as something negative..

[Cheese96]

Originally Posted by chernobyl

If you like the Dead Or Alive version then you are probably gay.. or lesbian.. or both..

The originals are ALWAYS better. ALWAYS.

[Cheese96]

If you like Marilyn Manson you are probably a raccoon. I have no problem with Dope.

[Cheese96]

Originally Posted by chernobyl

..And I didn't necessarily mean it as something negative..

I know

[chernobyl]

Originally Posted by Cheese96

If you like Marilyn Manson you are probably a raccoon. I have no problem with Dope.

That's alright with me as long as it teaches you something.

Originally Posted by Cheese96

The originals are ALWAYS better. ALWAYS.

So would you rather be yourself, be original, be slightly negative as long as it means being yourself, instead of trying to fit into the positive thinker i-smile-when-they-shoot-me image?

You said it yourself.. originals are always better than all the copies put together.

[Michael Chui]

This is less than very helpful, but:

IT (The Inner Dark)

(I can't drop it in the post because of the censor.)