Shall I give him the money back?

[bluestar]

Years ago I got a rescue dog. She used to live with heroin addicts and alcoholics on the streets. One day (before she came to live with me) she was desperately sick. The guy who was her owner at the time could not afford vets fees. He was begging on the streets. And a passer-by came up, asking what was wrong with the dog. Her owner didn't know, but the dog was close to dying.
The stranger took her immediately to the vet, and paid the steep fee, and her life was saved.

Now many years later, she is a happy healthy dog, and lives with me. The thing is I know where this "stranger" lives. I happen to know he didn't have a lot of money himself at the time, and secretly used that money without letting his family know what he was doing -to save the dog's life.

Now I suddenly have some money. I am tempted to go round to this man's house, and take him back to that day, and give him an envelope with the exact cash in it which he paid to the vet that day. And thank him for his kindness. And tell him that thanks to him she is alive, and happy and well today.
But....I am unsure if that would be right. Instinct makes me wonder would I be interfering somehow in his destiny to do that? Yet also something in me would like to.
Just throwing that out here for any feedback.

[meghufree]

I think its wonderful that you want to gift him the money..It's a beautiful thought.

I think however that instead of giving the person money personally after meeting him - you might actually gift him the money "secretly". For example you could put the money in an envelope addressed to him and put the envelope in his post with a note that tells him how thankful you are to him for saving the dog's life. I am sure he would be touched and grateful for your gesture...

On the other hand if you give him the money by hand after personally meeting him - I think there is a chance that he might politely say no to the money or resist your offer. I have this feeling that personally giving it to him would sort of effect the purity of that man's gesture...It would be something like - "I want to give you the money back because you helped me then" rather than "I am so thakful and so I am gifting you this money out of gratitude"....

So yes, I think secretly slipping the money in a place that man can see and slipping a small note of thanks along with the money would be beautiful...

In any case, I am quiote touched by that man's gesture myself..

[Bradman]

That's kind of a tough one - sometimes people don't want to be paid back for doing good works. I definitely would thank him and offer him something to show your appreciation. Maybe you could donate some money to a no kill animal shelter or some type of charity that helps animals in his name if he would prefer that.

[SireneB]

I agree with giving it in a way that you know it will get to him, and enough of a note so he knows what it relates to, but so he doesn't have the chance to refuse it directly. Very cool that you are thinking of this.

[Alstar]

I wouldn't. Paying him the money back would cheapen his sacrifice, in my opinion.

[Kahuna]

Those how give out good must be able to recieve it back too.

And if he needs that money, you can give it back, they way you prefer. At first, doing it anonymouse sounds romantic, but if you do it personally and get to know him, maybe there would be a friendship where you both benefits from?

But don`t pay back a guilt, just give it because it would now help him, you can add a pic from the Dog and you maybe to make it more emotional connected.

[Harald]

Like you, I'd think twice about giving back the money. Try to find something else to do for them instead, to show your appreciation. Perhaps buy a gift of some kind.

Beautiful story anyhow. I always love it when I hear of people doing stuff like that for an animal. And it gives me hope.

[GranDiosa]

Originally Posted by Kahuna

Those how give out good must be able to recieve it back too.

And if he needs that money, you can give it back, they way you prefer. At first, doing it anonymouse sounds romantic, but if you do it personally and get to know him, maybe there would be a friendship where you both benefits from?

But don`t pay back a guilt, just give it because it would now help him, you can add a pic from the Dog and you maybe to make it more emotional connected.

I totally agree with Kahuna in everything he says....

-this man should also be able to receive....

-maybe you could establish a friendship with this person, this might benefit you or him or both....you never know....

-give the money back not out of guilt but because you really want to, from your heart and not your mind....

-I believe that things happen for a reason....but you'll never know the reason(s) if you don't take action....

Btw......I totally admire you for what you've done.....I wish there were more people like you

Bless you!!


x

[Steph4n1e]

That man will be paid back for the good deeds that he has done. But it shouldn't be from you. Pay it forward to someone else completely who is in need. No one likes feeling as though their good deed was a loan. Paying him back it would mean just that, even if you don't mean it to be.

Your heart is in the right place.

I believe fully in paying it forward, then the gift of giving, keeps on giving.

[bluestar]

Thanks. All your replies are very interesting and thought-provoking. I feel this isn't just a simple thing. I keep getting the urge to do this, but keep "deep-thinking" on it instead.
I may give that money to a struggling animal rescue shelter nearby....not certain what I will do yet.

[bluestar]

Originally Posted by Alstar

I wouldn't. Paying him the money back would cheapen his sacrifice, in my opinion.

Yes, this is what I meant. It may have been important for him to do that deed that day, many years ago. I may be interfering with that to go pay him that money.
It's not out of a feeling of guilt with me. More a feeling that I would have liked to show him what he did really really meant an awful lot, not just to the dog's life but to mine as well. I know where he lives, and I remember the exact sum. But he is a stranger to me too, and also his wife and family don't know what he did. He was supposed to be using that money to help his son in college, so I heard.

[Kahuna]

If you really feel, that would lessen the sacrefice (which is overly dramatic put), then don`t pay it back, and spend it on animal shelter like you suggest.

But please don`t do this decision because it`s easier not to confront him, then talk to him, and giving it back.




What i don`t get is this, he made his decision and done it. If you give him back the money, nothing changed. He mad his decision and done it. This decision is/was as important as before?

[A.K.Light]

I'd just thank him in person and let him see the dog or send him a thank you note. That will make him feel good. He didn't expect to get paid back. The money can go to helping others.

[HedlessChickn]

Not only would I offer him the money back, I'd offer it to him with interest. He has every right to refuse your gift, just as you had the same right of refusal when he took the dog to the vet. If he decides he does not want the gift, then by all means give it to a dog shelter or some other charitable organization you are comfortable with.

Specualting on how he might feel is superfluous.

[DeepGrowth]

If the Universe were putting you on a test right now, what do you think is the more ideal option and what will you learn/become by making this decision?