Knowing you should do something, but not having the passion to do it.

[Jugga J]

I wasn't sure if this thread should go in this 'Character and Contribution' under 'finding and living your purpose' or 'Personal effectiveness', but it ended up here.

As far as my history goes, I'm still 16, nearly 17, so still young - ish. Fortunately for me, I've been gifted with great musical abilities in life, everything about how I do things can be related to this in some way, In my learning styles at school I was classed as a 'musical learner', they also did some tests and they found I had an inability in my Visual STM, I think I can remember 3 pieces of visual stimuli compared to the average 7, however they also said my auditory memory was far above average, holding about 11 auditory stimuli, I also cream all my friends at Singstar. lol.

So you can sort of see my path or purpose must have something to do with music, its basically my forte or what have you.

I never really got into music straight away but about the age of 7, I started learning to play the Sax, then eventually I gave it up, not because I wasn't any good but for some stupid reason. I eventually came back to it when I was 13, got myself a good teacher (not one of you crappy ones that just makes you do grades, he's a Ska Musician). I also started playing guitar in my own free time.

After a few months, everyone was singing my praise, my sax teacher said I could easily be a musician if I wanted, as did most of my friends and family. Also I don't think I've been brought up in a family where they just keep me encouraged by telling me I'm great. If they didn't think I was any good, I don't think they'd say anything.

But then I started to tire, things became very stagnant, I got bored, like now (I'm nearly 17) I still play -rarely. If you heard me play, you'd most likely appreciate the fact that I'd been playing for 4 years around, but I practice maybe- once a month, sometimes little bursts, I haven't spoken to my sax teacher since last summer. If you squished my total playing time, it would most likely be about 4 months worth of practice to the average saxophonist. I can play guitar to a good standard also now, hardly do play it anymore but yeah.

I often look at other people and wish I had their ability, I was looking at some of Michaelangelo's work in Florence while I was in Italy last year and I could only dream. Of course I could go off and be a sculptor if I wanted, but I have decided in life, whatever path I follow, I want to be the best there is in it. I don't have any innate ability for art of that description especially as I have a weak visual memory, so it would be pointless pursuing that passion

So you see a dilemma occurring. I know deep down that If if I don't use the talent I have now, I will certainly regret it. Should I choose something else I have passion for and let my innate ability for music wander unfulfilled for eternity?

If I want to be the best at whatever I do in life, I'm going to have to use the natural ability I have, I don't really have any others as strong or as prevalent as my musical ability, it's like my whole potential is geared towards that.

Will passion come with time? What to do? Why do I constantly have no passion for something I should naturally have lots of passion for? *cry*

Also, I never took music for GCSE, in fact, I don't think my public school ever taught it. Now I regret not taking that, I'm following mostly science at AS, even though I know I should be doing music, art and English with poetry. But I don't have the courage to drop back a year.

[Greg]

Maybe you don't have passion for it because it is too easy for you - perhaps you enjoy the challenge and the challenge is missing. Do you enjoy learning new instruments? Harder songs? Different beats? Perhaps you need to try a different genre? Or, perhaps remove it from your life altogether (an experiment for 30 days) and realize what significance it has in your life and on the lives of others.

[CoachChar]

Jugga J,
You're quite likely to be very good at several things, not just music. Use your emotions to guide you in life toward what you want to be, do, and have. If you do something and you experience joy, keep doing it and follow the path of joy where it leads you. If you lose passion for something, take the hint and seek a new love. Does this mean you'll go through life with no commitments or great accomplishments? Probably not. I've read the biographies of many successful contributors to history, culture, industry, etc. Many of them list their passion for what they do as a key component to their success.

If I could go back and relive my adolescence with the wisdom and experience I have now, I'd remove the power of "should" from my life and simply do what feels good to my soul. I wouldn't spend a moment's time trying to please others or gain their approval. I wouldn't spend a second worrying about the future, or comparing my talents and abilities to anyone else's. Every single one of us is here for a reason and you needn't worry about "getting it right". You also needn't worry about doing what others want you to do. Each of us has the power to bring about our own happiness and well-being, so don't buy into the lie that your misery can buy someone else's happiness. This doesn't make you selfish in a "bad" way either. It means you love life and liberty enough to really experience them through your choices and actions.

Give yourself permission to freely explore the options life offers you. Pay attention as you pick and choose your way through life. You'll find what you're looking for and you'll have some great stories to share as well.

Based on what you've shared, it sounds like you may have something serious going on with music, but perhaps some part of you is yearning for a break or an opportunity to discover something that's missing before you continue with the music? There's also a possibility that the musical part of your life will never again be as important as it once was. Don't worry. Nature abhors a vacuum and some other love will fill the space once occupied by your love of music and saxophone. How will you know what you really prefer if you don't follow your heart and freely explore all the options that intrigue you?

[stroodle]

hi jugga, i feel like im in a similar position

i am a talented graphics designer, and i know that if i continue to pursue it i can probably become very successful from it. i make good money as a freelancer in my spare time from school, and i know how good i really am. not to be overly cocky, but i know that i'm more creative than a lot of people, and i could probably head in that direction as a career and do well.

however, i've always told myself this is just temporary. i will stop doing it after school and pursue something more important. even though i enjoy the work, i feel like i want something more. maybe it's the challenge i seek? and knowing you're going to succeed kinda takes that away. is that maybe how you feel?

what i've learned from this, is that sure i'm talented at this, but i can be talented at a lot of things. maybe it's not graphics design that's really stimulating me, but more of the opportunity to be 'creative'. so maybe being a 'sax player' isn't your calling, but there was something there that peaked your interest. maybe it was making music, listening to music, performing, etc. so go see what else is out there.

just remember, you don't know, what you don't know. your entire perspective can change when you learn something new.

[Michael Chui]

Steve made a post a few days ago on Sexual Energy. It's worth reading. I haven't decided what I think of it, but it's definitely pertinent.

[neuronicone]

hi Jugga,

Pause a moment, and ask yourself, what do you really wanted to happen in your life. Which field of life interests you? What kind of interest you want to continue or learn. Does it make you happy? Are you the type of a person who wants to learn many things but does not want to excel on any of them? Or you want this type of a person who wants to achieve certain level of knowledge on a certain interest.

I have once discussed this type of concern with my girlfriends at the girl boarding school way back in College, and one lesson learned is to follow your desire. Simply, follow your heart.

If for example, you were not given a chance to learn an interest, because you decide, however, to do other things, interest is an innate thing, and if that is what you really love, you will go for it, as you grow older. Time is not a big deal actually.

You will only get the passion to the things you are working right now, if and only, this is what your heart speaks of. Just an opinion.

[NathanSII]

If you honestly don't have passion for nothing, in my honest opinion, I say drop it. It's not worth pursuing because you won't go far because you have no passion. Passion is the fuel that makes you do things.