I Feel Like a Freak

[Lanya]

Originally Posted by Cheese96

I'm pretty sure I know what I'm looking for and its not people being lured to their death as a trick. But thank you anyway. If that is what it takes, if that is all there is, I think I will be content with what I have. I'm not being choosy about how I want to see someone die here, although I DID mention in previous posts that there are other kinds of snuff films. So no, there isn't only one kind. Although, I've done a bit of research and talked to some friends about them who DO watch snuff films. They have suggested something less graphic such as a suicide where no one is being tricked or lured. The assassination of JFK is considered a snuff film. I have seen it, but I'm not personal or familiarized with it. To me, it was as if it were only a movie with a higher edge of fear. So yes, I was scared and hesitant to see it (I did not seek it out; it was shown to me by my father). I feel as if I TRY and watch one, and then turn it off before anything bad happens then it will, let me truly know, for myself, that watching them iis not something I should do. Its also an emotional experience for me. Or a learning experience rather. I would really like to learn this about myself, see if I have an obsession or a mere fascination. In my eyes it will help me grow, and also help me to make future conscious decisions where snuff films may be involved later in my life. Perhaps it could come up in my circle of friends? But if I'm aware that's not for me because I discovered it on my own time then I won't be pressured to sit through one for my peers. Being able to control the film let's me test my own boundaries freely.

That makes sense, especially when you have friends who watch 'em, too. I wish I'd taken that approach with the horror genre, before a friend of mine insisted I watch a few with him. Damn, was that stressful!

[Cheese96]

Snuff is intended for entertainment. At least the majority of it is. But there is a market for everything so there are many degrees of it. I always wondered if there is one out there where the person is knowingky and willfully being murdered. Watching people against their will makes me sick. I tried to watch the video that was posted earlier and my stomach formed knots. The video never uploaded. But I think I would be more comfortable watching a person who is doing it voluntarily, that's why I brought up the suicides.
I have seen all the Saws for entertainment but I feel as if they were making a big joke out of death. I mostly liked the creativity of the traps, assuming someone could survive them. Six and seven really got me upset because they forced people to die which killed the spirit of the movie in my eyes and it just became mindless. I finished the series (I have to finish once I start) but the mindless killing lost my interest very quickly. I'm very interest in what the human body is capable of taking on. I think that's why I'm so interested in death, its the breaking point for what our bodies can handle. But not just in torture. In all aspects. Sorrow, elation, chemicals that we can handle. Too much of one thing isn't always a good thing. Unfortunatley they do not make snuff films like this.

[elucidate]

Well. if a guy can post on a community billboard that he wants to be eaten, and find someone who wants to eat someone...anything is possible.

[designAlignment]

It's possible for someone to end or have their life ended without experiencing any pain whatsoever.

Does a "boring death" where someone ends their life without any pain or negative emotion have the same level of interest as more dramatic ones?

For example, involving hanging or bullets where the person is also feeling conflicted about dying?

[Cheese96]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Well. if a guy can post on a community billboard that he wants to be eaten, and find someone who wants to eat someone...anything is possible.

For some reason the song "Mein Teil" by Rammstein comes to mind. Are you making a reference to the story behind that song?

Its not that I find deaths to be boring. I just think that the endurance of the human body is a facsinating thing. Anything dramatic such as hangings and shootings doesn't really appeal to me. I guess its not really people dying that interests me because I don't like the thoughts of suicide or murder. But suicide is a decision made by the person committing it to themselves. I respect others decisions although it makes me sad so I guess that's why I'm more okay with it than anything else.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Cheese96

For some reason the song "Mein Teil" by Rammstein comes to mind. Are you making a reference to the story behind that song?

No, not at all. I mentioned it mainly because you were saying you weren't sure if it was possible that anyone would actually volunteer to be murdered, and since I have a friend who used to party with the guy who volunteered to be eaten a few years ago over the internet, by that german man, it made me think of him. I don't know if that was the story behind the Rammstein song you referred to though?

Its not that I find deaths to be boring. I just think that the endurance of the human body is a facsinating thing. Anything dramatic such as hangings and shootings doesn't really appeal to me. I guess its not really people dying that interests me because I don't like the thoughts of suicide or murder. But suicide is a decision made by the person committing it to themselves. I respect others decisions although it makes me sad so I guess that's why I'm more okay with it than anything else.

I find that very interesting also, what the human body can endure, and the human spirit. Take that story of that guy who went trekking through a icy mountain on his own, and got his arm caught in a glacial abyss and had to cut his own arm off with a steak knife...and then climb all the way down the mountain in the freezing weather with one arm and the other bleeding heavily. Pure spirit.

[Cheese96]

Originally Posted by elucidate

No, not at all. I mentioned it mainly because you were saying you weren't sure if it was possible that anyone would actually volunteer to be murdered, and since I have a friend who used to party with the guy who volunteered to be eaten a few years ago over the internet, by that german man, it made me think of him. I don't know if that was the story behind the Rammstein song you referred to though?

To be honest I believe that IS the story.


That also appeals to me, but in a different sense. I always wonder ow muchsorrow/grief/elation someone can handle before they break. But that's a different kind of break that doesn't involve having to die.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Cheese96

To be honest I believe that IS the story.

Ah. Well, there couldn't be too many stories like that one I'd imagine.

That also appeals to me, but in a different sense. I always wonder ow muchsorrow/grief/elation someone can handle before they break. But that's a different kind of break that doesn't involve having to die.

I think adrenaline takes over, at least in his case. He would have been freezing too, so it might have helped to numb the pain and shock? You'd have to be incredibly strong of mind to do that to yourself though.

[Summerbreeze]

He agreed to let him eat his penis and then to kill him and snack a bit more, they documented it and the investigator themselves needed a psychologist after examining this case.
There were many scenarios in films/songs etc. that related to this case afterwards.

There is a scene for sexual fetish in this direction. For example people like to be kept and treated like animals ready for slaughter.

Quite the dark side of humanity.

~sb

[Velorien]

Cheese, one thing I learned from my own experience is that guilt over enjoying something like this can be far more harmful to you than the enjoyment itself. If you feel that you are watching snuff in order to answer specific questions - about yourself, humanity or the world - and that when these questions are answered there will be no further need to watch it, then you should be OK. If you've established that your actions aren't hurting anyone, then don't let conventional morality get in the way of doing what's right for you.

Should you find yourself watching it for pleasure alone, on the other hand, be very careful. That sort of pleasure is addictive, especially if it seems to provide something you can't get in your everyday life. Eventually, you may decide to stop - for example, because you decide that it's out of alignment with your beliefs, or because you find yourself in an environment where watching it is dangerous - and find that you can't. That is agonising on many levels.

So I'd advise you to watch yourself very carefully and get very clear on what you get out of this, both on intellectual and emotional levels. I'd also advise you to look for other people who are into snuff (there must be forums for this sort of thing), and see what they're like. Is it possible that you could become like them by going down this path? Would you be OK with that?