Brief Letter to the Universe

[east]

I wasn't sure where to post this but I really need to vent and figure my self out.

Universe,

I want to contribute much more to this world. I am barely working right now and just scraping by to pay my bills. I am 25, I have moved back in with my parents and I have zero money to my name and a small bit of debt.

What I do have is a college degree, decent camera equipment, a few published photographs, a really nice computer, a working car, a beautiful girlfriend, some good travel stories under my belt, a rock climbing membership, good health, no drug addictions and a passion to change.

One thing I promised myself 3 years ago was that I would move back to the coast to continue surfing and become at least a part-time surf photographer. I have failed to do this as of today. It hurts me deep down inside to know that the one simple pleasure I enjoy so much is absent from my life. I miss the hours spent with my friends, I miss the trips together and I really just miss the ocean. I don't yearn for a fancy car, a big house or a trophy wife - just to live quietly by the ocean and the mountains. I have failed to move 3 times, running out of money or getting set up in a place with little opportunity to be successful. I drove to California from the East Coast this summer and had to drive all the way home when I ran out of money. I couldn't land a job quick enough. Its my fault, no one else's but I really believed I would make it. The shame I felt for packing my life into my car and driving 3,000 miles only to return home was devastating.

I have learned that it would be smarter to line up a job in the location I want to move to or to become completely financially independent so I wouldn't have to worry about a job.

This brings me to the problem of my immobility and goal setting confusion. I want to run my own photography business and I have been training 16 months under a successful photographer. I am confident I can run the business side and I am fairly confident that I have the creativity and vision to provide a valuable service to the world. But I am stuck at home, with no money and 3 hours away from the ocean. The only thing keeping me sane is my new found love for climbing.

Tell me, do I try to establish myself financially independent here and waste more years away from the ocean in hopes of being able to pick and choose my new location or do I pick my location and put all my energy into getting a job there and then setting up my business? I can't determine which way is better. I feel that both choices leave me sitting around and wasting time.

I am absolutely confident that I want this. I want the ocean to surf, the mountains to climb and the business to run. I just don't know how to get there. The past 3 years have tortured my soul and I am running out of patience and positivity.

-Me

[Justin Mazza]

Your goals will not be achieved by lack of action. Get your thoughts and energy into alignment with your goal and start moving forward.This sounds like something that you have been wanting to do for a while. For some reason you are being held back; this is probably due to a limiting belief or belief's. Don't worry about how you are going to do it. Just Do it and get moving.

[adambenedetto]

Right now it feels like for you to move forward in the right direction you need to let go of what has happened. You have changed. If we keep placing the past into our future, we might as well be walking backwards through time. It doesn't work. Life is not repetitive. It may feel like it at times but it is really your mind seeing it this way. You are a different person now and this is a different moment. See the future as completely open and clear, for it is. Let yourself feel what choice pulls you the most strongly. What feels right to you without the random thoughts and emotions in the way. Do this just for a moment and see how it feels. What do you know deep down to be the right choice for you. If you could look at yourself and tell yourself the truth of this moment, what would you say. You know far more than you think you do. You are much more than capable of doing what is meant for you. It will feel easy and right. Listen to yourself about everything you do. Listen very closely, for this might be a new thing to you but it will become easier and easier. You can start with smaller decisions first and move on to bigger ones if that feels more comfortable. You can lead yourself to where you are meant to be, where life feels right and easy because it is. You have a great future ahead of you and it is your time to see it.

[richardxthripp]

I know a lot of people will tell you to follow your passion, but I think you should pick a career with whatever will do the most good for your friends and family and bring you joy at the same time. If no one will hire you, start your own business. It's difficult, but not impossible.

[Angela]

Oh, how about that, the Universe just handed me its response to hand over to you!

Originally Posted by The Universe

Dear east:

I love you! I totally trust you to make bold choices for yourself, to get the feedback from the consequences of those choices, and to make adjustments as necessary. When in doubt, get in motion! And learn what there is to learn in your movement.

Enjoy the process of life!

Love,
The Universe

p.s... thanks for the nice words about the ocean and mountains. I am rather proud of those.

[richardxthripp]

Originally Posted by Angela

Oh, how about that, the Universe just handed me its response to hand over to you!

I am really amazed by this universe.

[LostMyMap]

Originally Posted by Angela

Oh, how about that, the Universe just handed me its response to hand over to you!

I see, six green squares and now you're Western Union for the Universe. I might have a message to two to send back!

Tell me, do I try to establish myself financially independent here and waste more years away from the ocean in hopes of being able to pick and choose my new location or do I pick my location and put all my energy into getting a job there and then setting up my business? I can't determine which way is better. I feel that both choices leave me sitting around and wasting time.

As for this, I'm neither the Universe nor Angela, but one thing that popped in my head is, why does this have to be a either/or decision? I see that so much on this forum.

Why can't you start doing some of both, right now, today? Three hours from the ocean isn't all that bad with a working car. You've got the gear and experience, start taking weekend jobs where you drive down to the coast. Set up your business and get started, but focus on taking jobs in places you want to be (the ocean, wherever people are climbing). That way, you are making money and building a client base, and at the same time, you are in the ennvironment you want to be in, and while you are there, you keep your eyes open for the next place you want to live.

Does this pro you are working under know your ambitions? Is he/she willing to help you get started? Maybe introduce you to some people if nothing else?

[east]

Thanks for the feedback. I felt a little embarrassed after I posted this, as if I was really exposing myself. It also seemed that explaining my internal dilemma made it somewhat insignificant and a lot more obtainable.

My immobility is based off the idea that I don't want to set roots where I am, any more roots than I already have but I don't have any money to make a big move right now so the logical answer seems to be that I HAVE to set some roots, get a new job and make more money. I have only been out of work (not completely) for 2 months so this is something I have been working on but it has become increasingly difficult to decide how to approach my goals.

I realize the mistake in becoming immobile because any action towards any goal is better than nothing. I have been reading about limiting beliefs and going through a Wayne Dyer book that has really shed some light on my negativity and inability to really think clearly. I feel a lot better about myself and I am realizing that this is just a small stage.

If I keep hunting, an opportunity will come to me. I am working on manifesting it through visualization each day. I am not visualizing the opportunity but the feelings I will experience when it does present itself and I do seize it.

The photog I work for does understand my ambitions and has fully supported every attempt I have made because I think he feels similar but he is tied down with family and home obligations.

I have spent many hours in my car chasing waves by myself, networking with friends and showing people that I am completely dedicated to my passions. Its not as if I am sitting home wandering if I will ever be apart of it, I just seem separated from my true love and I am in a long distance relationship with her but I am 100% ready to move in with her and take it to the next level.

I'm kind of scatter-brained right now, I'll return to this thread and release some more steam soon. It really helps to receive guidance from people who have no connection to me, everyone I know likes to tell me that I should just be happy I'm alive, have a place to sleep and get to live in America. I'm not too fond of mediocrity, I would much rather push outside of my comfort zone and try to do exactly what I want to do before I die.

Thanks.

[richardxthripp]

Originally Posted by east

Thanks for the feedback. I felt a little embarrassed after I posted this, as if I was really exposing myself. It also seemed that explaining my internal dilemma made it somewhat insignificant and a lot more obtainable.

My immobility is based off the idea that I don't want to set roots where I am, any more roots than I already have but I don't have any money to make a big move right now so the logical answer seems to be that I HAVE to set some roots, get a new job and make more money. I have only been out of work (not completely) for 2 months so this is something I have been working on but it has become increasingly difficult to decide how to approach my goals.

I realize the mistake in becoming immobile because any action towards any goal is better than nothing. I have been reading about limiting beliefs and going through a Wayne Dyer book that has really shed some light on my negativity and inability to really think clearly. I feel a lot better about myself and I am realizing that this is just a small stage.

If I keep hunting, an opportunity will come to me. I am working on manifesting it through visualization each day. I am not visualizing the opportunity but the feelings I will experience when it does present itself and I do seize it.

The photog I work for does understand my ambitions and has fully supported every attempt I have made because I think he feels similar but he is tied down with family and home obligations.

I have spent many hours in my car chasing waves by myself, networking with friends and showing people that I am completely dedicated to my passions. Its not as if I am sitting home wandering if I will ever be apart of it, I just seem separated from my true love and I am in a long distance relationship with her but I am 100% ready to move in with her and take it to the next level.

I'm kind of scatter-brained right now, I'll return to this thread and release some more steam soon. It really helps to receive guidance from people who have no connection to me, everyone I know likes to tell me that I should just be happy I'm alive, have a place to sleep and get to live in America. I'm not too fond of mediocrity, I would much rather push outside of my comfort zone and try to do exactly what I want to do before I die.

Thanks.

No offense, but I think you need to stop whining and start doing.

[east]

**** - you think i would be looking for help and putting my business on the internet if i was worried about being offended? thanks though - definitely some motivation. i'm having a productive day. thanks.