I cannot live the way I want to

[Leaky Faucet]

I am constantly being pushed and told to do what the society or my parents want me to do. I extremely hate this situation. I am 25 but still not able to make my own decisions. I can, but I am not allowed to.

If I had gone in my own path, I would have been a shining star by now. But the situation is just the opposite. I feel like I am being a piece of **** despite having a lots of potential. I hate my society and I hate my parents to the core for they do not know what the hell they are doing to me.
They say I am dis-obedient, if I speak against them. My life is completely messed up.

I have wasted nearly 4 years of my life listening to them. I know many of you will ask me to move away and live alone. But here its not possible. They do not even listen to a word I speak. I am mentally down and I cannot explain the pain.

I am constantly being tortured and sometimes I feel like moving to another country and never contact them till I die. I JUST HATE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AROUND ME.

[NewSimon]

Yes, I kind-of feel life sucks some days.

If you're that desperate then it is time to sacrifice comfort and go somewhere else and do something else. Get a different perspective. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

[sorter]

Originally Posted by Leaky Faucet

I know many of you will ask me to move away and live alone. But here its not possible.

Why not?
.

[HeartfulColourful]

Can you travel?

[Leaky Faucet]

Originally Posted by sorter

Why not?
.

Listen, the tradition is you need to visit your parents atleast once in 2 months. If I do not do this they will come to my place and pester me.

[Leaky Faucet]

Originally Posted by HeartfulColourful

Can you travel?

Yes I can travel. But where???

[Angela]

I'm sorry you're feeling bad. It's a lot to take on, what you're handling now.

Originally Posted by Leaky Faucet

I am 25 but still not able to make my own decisions. I can, but I am not allowed to.

What would happen if you did?

[HeartfulColourful]

Originally Posted by Leaky Faucet

Yes I can travel. But where???

Anywhere. Is there anywhere you can think of that draws you in/intrigues you? I would try group travel first then save for a voyage. I felt very stuck in the environment I was raised in and resented it somewhat so I can understand your despair. It sounds as if you need to remove yourself and find an environment where your desires are possible. I developed a lot of my outlook and character via travel. You need the world to open up for you but you have to make the first move.

sometimes I feel like moving to another country and never contact them till I die

Why not do this (although keep in contact?)

[sorter]

Originally Posted by Leaky Faucet

Listen, the tradition is you need to visit your parents atleast once in 2 months. If I do not do this they will come to my place and pester me.

OK, instead of playing twenty questions I'll just cut to the chase and tell you what I suspect.

You've decided to stay near your parents but you're not taking full responsibility for your decision.
You can't change your parents or anyone who tries to push you around.
You can only change your response to them.

I know that's easier said that done but working from that view should relieve much frustration.
.

[Leaky Faucet]

Originally Posted by Angela

I'm sorry you're feeling bad. It's a lot to take on, what you're handling now.



What would happen if you did?

If I do that,
- they will say I am disobedient which will more irritate me.
- (They always compare me to others) So they will point to some schmuck and say why cannot I be like him.
-They will ask me why it's hard to listen to them. (They are completely nuts)
-I am ashamed of them. A 25 yr old guy whining like this in a forum seems weird. But they brought me to this situation.
-They say God will punish me if I do not listen to them which irritates me the most. I am an atheist and they push me to be religious.

My situation is extremely complex. There's also a big block created by my parents which I cannot explain fully. I just cannot move forward.

[Leaky Faucet]

Originally Posted by HeartfulColourful

Anywhere. Is there anywhere you can think of that draws you in/intrigues you? I would try group travel first then save for a voyage. I felt very stuck in the environment I was raised in and resented it somewhat so I can understand your despair. It sounds as if you need to remove yourself and find an environment where your desires are possible. I developed a lot of my outlook and character via travel. You need the world to open up for you but you have to make the first move.



Why not do this (although keep in contact?)

Yes, its good . But I am afraid it will take a lot of money

[Angela]

You can't move forward because you're very irritated by what your parents do and say and threaten you with. That must be very frustrating!

What are you going to do about it?

[Leaky Faucet]

Originally Posted by sorter

OK, instead of playing twenty questions I'll just cut to the chase and tell you what I suspect.

You've decided to stay near your parents but you're not taking full responsibility for your decision.
You can't change your parents or anyone who tries to push you around.
You can only change your response to them.

I know that's easier said that done but working from that view should relieve much frustration.
.

I've decided nothing. Everything so far was decided by them. If I oppose, they start cursing me.

[HeartfulColourful]

Originally Posted by Leaky Faucet

Yes, its good . But I am afraid it will take a lot of money

Not if you do it budget-style. Travel can help you prove to yourself that you are not under your parents' control.

btw what would happen if you just did what you wanted? would they phsyically block you?

[BillyTheAdult]

I hear where you're coming from, you really feel stuck due to circumstances beyond your control. I picked up on phrase you said in particular, about you could be a shining star. Think about someone who you think of as being that already. Do you think they got there without any hardship. In order to put yourself and your own needs first (which I don't mean in a negative selfish connotation) yo will have to not only risk, but actually make others unhappy sometimes, including your parents. In the U.S. there is a saying that goes "you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs." Do you want what you want enough to do that. I think so, you seem to have a very strong will. Good luck in your journey.

[Leaky Faucet]

Originally Posted by Angela

You can't move forward because you're very irritated by what your parents do and say and threaten you with. That must be very frustrating!

What are you going to do about it?

I cannot confront my parents with my views. I hardly speak to them. I feel like I have lost interest in everything. I do not know what I am going to do. I have wasted 4 long years. Can you imagine??? I feel like breaking everything I see around me. I am merely just existing on this earth.

[Leaky Faucet]

Originally Posted by BillyTheAdult

I hear where you're coming from, you really feel stuck due to circumstances beyond your control. I picked up on phrase you said in particular, about you could be a shining star. Think about someone who you think of as being that already. Do you think they got there without any hardship. In order to put yourself and your own needs first (which I don't mean in a negative selfish connotation) yo will have to not only risk, but actually make others unhappy sometimes, including your parents. In the U.S. there is a saying that goes "you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs." Do you want what you want enough to do that. I think so, you seem to have a very strong will. Good luck in your journey.

Thank you. I am waiting for the right moment and I will distance myself from them as far as I can. It is ok if they oppose me in few things. But they do not like the music I listen to, do not like the clothes I wear, do not like the food I eat and I know it very very odd. Sometimes I feel like physically hurting them. I run some mental images of the same to ease my anger though I will never do it in real. I bottle up all my emotions. They also tease me and treat me like a child. I am ashamed to be their son.

[AlmostGodess]

Hello, my friend!

It seems to me that you have decided in your heart that your situation is helpless and that you live a situation without issue. Undecide this in your heart and make a new decision, build a NEW life. Imagine you build a new video game with new rules. Let it exist just in your head at the beginning. It will then move from your mind towards reality.

Talk to people who have been through this before and see what they did. Start a blog about this.

Everything will be fine!

[sorter]

Originally Posted by Leaky Faucet

I've decided nothing. Everything so far was decided by them. If I oppose, they start cursing me.

So you've decided their cursing wins over your opposition.

My main point is blame toward your parents is misplaced.
You're twenty five. Your life is yours. Blaming your parents is, frankly, immature.
I don't expect you want to hear that or praise for me saying it, but it is what it is.
.

[Lanya]

What do you want from us? What could we do to help you?

[nube]

My answer to your header is : Yes you can live the way you want to.
And how is that?
Break free. Don't let them control you. Move to another place and get a job. It will take a lot of courage but will feel great. Where do you live? In what kind of society?
I mean, it can't get any worse can it?
I just discussed this with a friend the other day, how it is difficult for many people to break free from whatever they feel are holding them back, but it is just an excuse, usually for their own fear.
What do your parents want you to do?
I don't feel like you owe them anything just because they are your parents. Get over your fear. And leave your religion, if it is holding you back in that way. I think this is what you need to learn in life (or at least right now).
Dream up the life you want, really see it, and then make plans to start making it a reality! Don't let anyone or anything hold you back.

All the best to you

[Grandiouse]

"If it is meant to be, then it is up to me."

I agree with looking into traveling. There are countries such as Spain and Thailand that pay people to work as English teachers/assistants.

It is not a long term commitment (only about 1 year). All you have to come up with is a small amount of savings to get started + airfare.

Start researching and look into those programs. A lot of them offer accomodations or decent salaries to live off of.

[rawxstasy]

Yes, I agree working as an English teacher/assistant in another country would be a good step to get away from them. Just curious, what country do you live in?

[Leaky Faucet]

Originally Posted by rawxstasy

yes, i agree working as an english teacher/assistant in another country would be a good step to get away from them. Just curious, what country do you live in?

india

[Illuminatus]

Originally Posted by Leaky Faucet

If I do that,
My situation is extremely complex. There's also a big block created by my parents which I cannot explain fully. I just cannot move forward.

Your situation is f*cking simple.

You have identified the influences that have got you to this position. Now it is time to stop whining and take action: Move away from those influences.

It's ♥♥♥♥♥ or walk, pal. You want us to give you a way of changing without you having to do anything. Well this is the change YOU have to make. You've identified it. Now man up.

[mikej]

Moving away from a problem doesn't necessarily solve it. You can still take your issues with you wherever you go.

It seems to me that the OP has a lot of emotional baggage he needs to drop before he can truly get on with his life. I think forgiveness would help him drop at least some of that baggage.

[sorter]

When I was 17 I ran away from home because I hated being told what to do.
I ended up at free clinic 'cause I had nowhere else to go. (I didn't think things out very well and friends can only do so much)

There, two women spent two hours basically pointing out that my parents have
done more for me than anyone ever has or ever will by far times 10 to the power of infinite.

Of course I didn't want to hear that but it finally got through my thick skull.
Anger can make an obvious truth difficult to believe.

For what it's worth to you.
.

[AlmostGodess]

What about changing the name of this thread into "I CAN live the way I want" and write about all the things that go your way

[ellie]

Why not just pack-up, take a risk, leave all behind and start afresh?...I know easier said than done. Doesn't sound like you care for your parents too much anyway, so what will you be missing?

[Federer]

Originally Posted by Leaky Faucet

I am constantly being pushed and told to do what the society or my parents want me to do. I extremely hate this situation. I am 25 but still not able to make my own decisions. I can, but I am not allowed to.

If I had gone in my own path, I would have been a shining star by now. But the situation is just the opposite. I feel like I am being a piece of **** despite having a lots of potential. I hate my society and I hate my parents to the core for they do not know what the hell they are doing to me.
They say I am dis-obedient, if I speak against them. My life is completely messed up.

I have wasted nearly 4 years of my life listening to them. I know many of you will ask me to move away and live alone. But here its not possible. They do not even listen to a word I speak. I am mentally down and I cannot explain the pain.

I am constantly being tortured and sometimes I feel like moving to another country and never contact them till I die. I JUST HATE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AROUND ME.

I am sorry for your down feeling.

But i don't think there is any need to be discouraged and start beating yourself. If anyone don't listen to you, but you are listening to yourself. Trust it.

You have realized that you have great inner potential that means you can do. You can make many ways. Rest to do is bring changes and set yourself to that alignment. Success will start following you.

Listen to this: When no one listens to you that means you have prove that you're capable to achieve anything you want. They don't trust you, may be you don't trust yourself.

If you are going to dream something for you, put in present tense.

Hope this cheers you up.