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Character & Contribution Values, integrity, finding your purpose, living your purpose, serving the greater good, making a difference, changing the world, charity, polarity, lightworkers, darkworkers

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Old 11-07-2006, 05:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Defining your life's purpose is bad

I can't see anything good coming out of doing this.
We're talking about something very complex. Something that is rooted deep within us. It is with certainty guiding us all day long without our knowledge of it.

My idea is that you could express part of it by using "abstract channels" - writing poems, painting etc. but it is just plain silly to believe that we have the verbal power to define our true meaning of life (espiecally after just a couple of months of consideration).

It is multi-leveled and language itself set the limitations for what can be expressed. (Describe a color like yellow, but one that you have never seen before... Describe yellow in correlation to other colors and concepts... "it's... bright..."

When we try to define meaning we are boxing ourselves in and limit our outlook on life. We cannot possibly cover everything and if we were to live after this "home-spun" ideom, the result would only be that our lives would get very "dry" and simplistic.

My goal would be something like:
"I want to live a good life, feeling good but also experiencing pain in order to enjoy the good times. But I also wan't to feel that special satisfaction when you're feeling low and enjoying it in some weird way. I also want to have a lot those feelings where everything just feels "real". When you are just stricken by how beautiful everything is and so on. The meaning of my life is always to be calm and spread that calmness to my friends, but without interfering with their underlying personalities. I don't want to change them too much. I want the negative people negative, who likes to be negative. My goal is to understand life and different outlooks on life..."

...and I could go on for the rest of my life.
So - do you see what I'm getting at? All of the things I could possibly write could just be summed up in a feeling from within which is aways there. Just pick it out and let that feeling or intuition guide you. Meditate if you have to to get it out.

....


Last edited by ImOpen; 11-07-2006 at 05:48 PM.
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Old 11-07-2006, 05:40 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I'm one of those still looking for my purpose, and kind of frustrated about the whole thing at the moment, but I guess I'll get over it.

That said, I still think it's possible to put your purpose down in words, but that your purpose will be something more to you than just those words. You may write down a sentence, such as "Live a fulfilling life." That doesn't really say much, but in your mind you'll understand it fully and it will have a deeper meaning, beyond simple language and words.

Secondly, those that have found their purpose, such as Steve, don't seem any worse of for it. In fact, they seem much better of. They know where they are going, they know what they want and they feel good about life, what they do and who they are. I wouldn't mind having a bit of that.
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Old 11-07-2006, 05:45 PM   #3 (permalink)
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"Secondly, those that have found their purpose, such as Steve, don't seem any worse of for it. In fact, they seem much better of. They know where they are going, they know what they want and they feel good about life, what they do and who they are. I wouldn't mind having a bit of that."

Those words are not Steve's true purpose. That would be a mockery against his person. We are all much more than that. We are greater than anything we can express. Don't try to define things you cannot comprehend. The human is a funny animal, we have the ability to question things we can never understand, if we were to get the correct answer. So, just don't question.
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Old 11-07-2006, 05:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
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ragtag, don't let yourself be discouraged. you sound like you're on the right path, and your thinking is logical.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...-self-be-true/
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Old 11-07-2006, 05:59 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Generally when people state what their purpose is....it's what they are trying to "call forth" at the moment.

I wouldn't say it's limiting...i'd say it's empowering. You can live life by default or you can live it "on purpose".
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Old 11-07-2006, 06:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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You can live life by default or you can live it "on purpose".

Hey... did you read my post??
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Old 11-07-2006, 06:07 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ImOpen View Post
I can't see anything good coming out of doing this.
We're talking about something very complex. Something that is rooted deep within us. It is with certainty guiding us all day long without our knowledge of it.

My idea is that you could express part of it by using "abstract channels" - writing poems, painting etc. but it is just plain silly to believe that we have the verbal power to define our true meaning of life (espiecally after just a couple of months of consideration).




It is multi-leveled and language itself set the limitations for what can be expressed. (Describe a color like yellow, but one that you have never seen before... Describe yellow in correlation to other colors and concepts... "it's... bright..."

When we try to define meaning we are boxing ourselves in and limit our outlook on life. We cannot possibly cover everything and if we were to live after this "home-spun" ideom, the result would only be that our lives would get very "dry" and simplistic.

My goal would be something like:
"I want to live a good life, feeling good but also experiencing pain in order to enjoy the good times. But I also wan't to feel that special satisfaction when you're feeling low and enjoying it in some weird way. I also want to have a lot those feelings where everything just feels "real". When you are just stricken by how beautiful everything is and so on. The meaning of my life is always to be calm and spread that calmness to my friends, but without interfering with their underlying personalities. I don't want to change them too much. I want the negative people negative, who likes to be negative. My goal is to understand life and different outlooks on life..."

...and I could go on for the rest of my life.
So - do you see what I'm getting at? All of the things I could possibly write could just be summed up in a feeling from within which is aways there. Just pick it out and let that feeling or intuition guide you. Meditate if you have to to get it out.

....


uhhhhhhhh....yeah....I did.
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Old 11-07-2006, 06:14 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Then please note that I think it is good to live life "on purpose".
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Old 11-07-2006, 06:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
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ahhhhh...are you one of the people that when you say "bad" you mean "good"?

or


uhhhh...never mind (LOL)
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Old 11-07-2006, 06:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Don't be afraid.

Hi ImOpen,
Have you done the method for finding your purpose in life, in 20 minutes? There's nothing to be afraid of, even if you feel a little frightened, that's O.K. Nothing bad will happen to you, and only goodness comes from knowing ones purpose in life. I promise.
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Old 11-07-2006, 06:35 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dorothy hanna View Post
Hi ImOpen,
Have you done the method for finding your purpose in life, in 20 minutes? There's nothing to be afraid of, even if you feel a little frightened, that's O.K. Nothing bad will happen to you, and only goodness comes from knowing ones purpose in life. I promise.

HA!! SEE I'm NOT the only one!!
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Old 11-07-2006, 06:44 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annie View Post
ahhhhh...are you one of the people that when you say "bad" you mean "good"?

or


uhhhh...never mind (LOL)
You don't have to define something to live after it.
Now... pleeeease read my post before you post and when you've done that - please post.
(And don't use bold faced capital letters. It's a bit silly when the misunderstanding is on your part.)

Last edited by ImOpen; 11-07-2006 at 06:56 PM.
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Old 11-07-2006, 06:46 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Different tools for different people. I think explicitly stating a purpose doesn't work for me, so I'll keep looking for other approaches.
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Old 11-07-2006, 07:42 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Not one argument against? Very interesting indeed,
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Old 11-07-2006, 08:42 PM   #15 (permalink)
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One doesn't have to specifically define a purpose in order to come to an awareness of what ones purpose is. The defining comes in working out the steps to live congruently with that newly discovered purpose.
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Old 11-07-2006, 08:47 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Nothing bad in that.

Now that I've posted, and re-read my post, again...have you done the 20 minute method for discovering your purpose? Nothing bad will happen. It won't hurt.
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Old 11-07-2006, 08:53 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
but it is just plain silly to believe that we have the verbal power to define our true meaning of life (espiecally after just a couple of months of consideration).
I guess I can see what you're getting at (or am I?), but I still think you have to start somewhere. If I'm catching your drift (not all too easy for me, but that is not necessarily your fault), you think that you shouldn't go around and fool yourself: that it's silly to think that it is all done and wrapped up by writing your little business plan for life?

I would like to ask where do you think one should begin in that case? You think it's not of any importance at all to write down lifelong goals, or just minor importance? From my point of view, where I am starting, I'd say that I'd better learn to crawl before I try to walk. Then constantly develop.

Explain to people, who basically let other people live their life, that they should find their life's purpose in the way you describe. I think they wouldn't know where to start.

I'm I on the right track here? I think this is interesting and I'd like you to define/explain a little more how one would go about it in a better way. Since we are all here to learn.
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Old 11-07-2006, 09:06 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnus View Post
that it's silly to think that it is all done and wrapped up by writing your little business plan for life?[/i]
Something in that direction, yeah.

Quote:
I would like to ask where do you think one should begin in that case? You think it's not of any importance at all to write down lifelong goals, or just minor importance? From my point of view, where I am starting, I'd say that I'd better learn to crawl before I try to walk. Then constantly develop.

Explain to people, who basically let other people live their life, that they should find their life's purpose in the way you describe. I think they wouldn't know where to start.

I'm I on the right track here? I think this is interesting and I'd like you to define/explain a little more how one would go about it in a better way. Since we are all here to learn.
There is always some things you want to do. Always some thoughts you want to think. Find out which ones are really "you"... The opposite would be thought and ideas coming from the outer world and that are only loosely connected to what is you, your personality.

It's very much about finding yourself. I think meditation can be of good use, maybe creative work... And always observing what you think, feel, say, hear. Introspection!

It's about congruence between the inner you and "you". It's just simple self-actualization (see "Maslow") without putting so much belief in our verbal skills when it comes to maybe the most complex "thing" we know of. Not simple, will probably take half a life to start living according to this principle momemt by moment. But I still feel it is the right way to go.

dorothy hanna: I have done it. It does not give me much. Instead I feel fulfillment coming when I act on what I truely believe is me, and I cannot articulate it.

Last edited by ImOpen; 11-07-2006 at 09:10 PM.
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Old 11-07-2006, 09:23 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Knowing your purpose isn't meant to fulfill you, or your purpose. You are on the right track when you act congruently with that purpose.
So, you have done the test. Good!!! Didn't hurt anything. Did it. It wasn't the end all. Was it. Well, that's because it isn't meant to be the end. It's part of the beginning. Your not supposed to feel fulfilled, YET. It's supposed to help get you started off on the right foot, to living congruemtly.
And, as I said way back when...Nothing bad about it.
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Old 11-07-2006, 09:25 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dorothy hanna View Post
It's part of the beginning. .
A bad start and therefore it doesn't matter from my perspective what you say will come out of it. Check my first post and read my hypothesis.

If you want to discuss it, feel free to do so.
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Old 11-07-2006, 09:31 PM   #21 (permalink)
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By they way, my answer after the 20 minutes was: "Do."
Well... nothing terrible with that. It will probably not harm me, but not help me either....
Everything else felt futile.
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Old 11-07-2006, 09:40 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Hi ImOpen,
When you did the 20 minute test, did you find your purpose in life, or did you just count down the clock for 20 minutes, and then decide there was nothing much in it for you? Steve explained that, on average, it would take about 20 minutes, but for some, longer. I spent 1 hour and 40 minutes, and really wasn't expecting much, but then, all of a sudden, WOW, there it was. I had the emotional whammy, and everything.
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Old 11-07-2006, 09:45 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dorothy hanna View Post
Hi ImOpen,
When you did the 20 minute test, did you find your purpose in life, or did you just count down the clock for 20 minutes, and then decide there was nothing much in it for you? Steve explained that, on average, it would take about 20 minutes, but for some, longer. I spent 1 hour and 40 minutes, and really wasn't expecting much, but then, all of a sudden, WOW, there it was. I had the emotional whammy, and everything.
Dorothy, I will continue the off topic discussion of how I did that test via PM.
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Old 11-08-2006, 12:08 AM   #24 (permalink)
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I wouldn't say that defining your life purpose is "bad" - I think of it as more of a tool. Some people will find it a useful tool, to be able to set down in words exactly what they feel their life purpose is. But I don't think it's a tool that everyone has to use. If it feels right to you, then go for it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImOpen View Post
It's about congruence between the inner you and "you". It's just simple self-actualization (see "Maslow") without putting so much belief in our verbal skills when it comes to maybe the most complex "thing" we know of. Not simple, will probably take half a life to start living according to this principle momemt by moment. But I still feel it is the right way to go.
I like your point about the congruence between the inner you and "you". It seems to me that our life purpose, while having a consistent core, nevertheless is always evolving. That's what makes defining our life purpose in concrete words just a tool, but for many, it's an effective tool.
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Old 11-08-2006, 03:50 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Hi ImOpen,

I think I know what you're getting at and I agree...at sorts.

I do think that a higher purpose for us, if it exists, is probably profound enough to be engaging and even dynamic throughout our lives, and it is a worth-well introspective process to devote a life-time to.

That said, how else would we interface the world except through our symbols? We make sense of, and communicate to each other through the use of symbols; langauge and art. While these symbols are undoubtedbly 'surface structure', they also help point us to the 'deep structures' in our lives.

My ultimate take on this is a pragmatic one; would expressing your felt purpose in words/music/drawings help you increase the quality of your life? If it does, then that's the way to go for you, no need to knock it.

But if you feel (and I think you do, let me know if I'm wrong) that you prefer to rely on your gut, and to use the awareness of this gut feeling to guide your everyday actions, and it works, more power to you.
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Old 11-08-2006, 07:16 AM   #26 (permalink)
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I tend to agree with ImOpen to an extent; a lot of bad can certainly come from defining your life's purpose, if you're not doing it right. Note: I did post what I perceive to be my current purpose in annie's thread. I also wrote it, then, on the spot. I don't stand by it, but it was a good description of my feeling on it at the time.

A lot of people who say, "I don't know what my purpose is," I think, don't really have that exact trouble. I don't think they'd be better off knowing their purpose, except that the process of finding it might kick them out of what stupor might be bogging them down in the first place. In other words, coincidence, not causation.

A rule I'd suggest: if your purpose ever seems to be confining, ditch it. Personal freedom is important. So if you ever catch yourself saying, "I'd like to, but that's not my purpose," then some reconsideration is in order.

I suspect this is why many of the purposes people put down are extremely broad. You can't be confined by chains with you-sized holes.
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Old 11-08-2006, 09:37 AM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Those words are not Steve's true purpose. That would be a mockery against his person. We are all much more than that. We are greater than anything we can express. Don't try to define things you cannot comprehend.
I think you've hit the nail on the head with this. I don't think the idea of writing down your purpose is to define it ; or even to express it. As you point out, that is doomed to fail ; it would be a mockery.

As I see it, the written purpose serves as a reminder hook. When (for example) Steve writes that his purpose is "To grow and help other people to grow", that doesn't express the idea in detail. It certainly doesn't define it. It's not of use to anyone but Steve and it's not meant to be.

What it does is serves as a reminder of what's important to him. He's not following the words, he's following exactly what you're talking about; that inner sense of purpose that cannot be expressed as words. The words just remind him of that inner purpose.

Life is full of distractions and temptations, it's easy to drift without realising. A written purpose is an ongoing reminder to tap into that internal purpose and stay on course.

(That's how I see it, anyway ; Steve is free to disagree, of course).

All that said, I'm still trying to find my hook. I've certainly fallen into the trap of "mission statements" and the like that are just words. Words themselves have no motivational power. Unless they're a link to something meaningful inside you, then they do nothing.
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Old 11-08-2006, 11:08 AM   #28 (permalink)
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As I said somewhere else. I haven't find a definition of my purpose that can really be considered my purpose. But maybe for others is more simple and not so complex.
And purpose changes... because what you want, need, should, can do changes with life... like Steve's purpose went changing as he says.

I think purpose is more like your goals. They go changing. And sometimes you can even define them well. I don't know exactly what my goals are for instance. I take actions in some directions but just because I want to experience that, I'm not sure it will be good things for me.

Like posting here.
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Old 11-08-2006, 12:10 PM   #29 (permalink)
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from the multitude of purposes that call you, pick one and back it up with action. you may find that that is your calling. in the end YOU DECIDE what you purpose is. does that moment mean that you get 100 % understanding of the world and your place in it . NOT AT ALL. it means just what is said, YOU DECIDED. and you know, when you decide then the world moves to help you. and in the end, if you dont like the purpose you have decided on, then you can ALWAYS CHANGE IT. my purpose was defined over 5 years. it took steve a long time as well to define his purpose as well, (atleast fromwhat i have read.) if you remember what he says aboout belief systems, never knock it untill you try it,... i mean REALLY try it not just stand from the side and contemplate the cons and pros of the belief system. so for your purpose do the same. TRY ON a few. you will sharpen the ones you like to ultimately form the ONE. and you know what, half the fun is in figuring it out anyway, so dont sweat it.
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Old 11-08-2006, 01:29 PM   #30 (permalink)
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from the multitude of purposes that call you, pick one and back it up with action. you may find that that is your calling. in the end YOU DECIDE what you purpose is. does that moment mean that you get 100 % understanding of the world and your place in it . NOT AT ALL. it means just what is said, YOU DECIDED. and you know, when you decide then the world moves to help you. and in the end, if you dont like the purpose you have decided on, then you can ALWAYS CHANGE IT. my purpose was defined over 5 years. it took steve a long time as well to define his purpose as well, (atleast fromwhat i have read.) if you remember what he says aboout belief systems, never knock it untill you try it,... i mean REALLY try it not just stand from the side and contemplate the cons and pros of the belief system. so for your purpose do the same. TRY ON a few. you will sharpen the ones you like to ultimately form the ONE. and you know what, half the fun is in figuring it out anyway, so dont sweat it.
kafaria, have you tried living through my belief system?
I've tried living through yours and it's never to late to give up. Even Pavlina wrote that awhile back.-
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