Do your friends really tell people a lot about you?

[Bricona]

My friends are rockstars and hipsters.

I feel like I'm a social loner who belongs at a 4 year College University, as in I'm actually smart.

[spacecadetglow]

What, rockstars and hipsters can't be smart too?

Sounds like you either need to get new friends or take the ego down a notch there.

[Bricona]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

What, rockstars and hipsters can't be smart too?

Sounds like you either need to get new friends or take the ego down a notch there.

My ego's perfect

I honestly do, they're rockstars, they aren't that social. (I was thinking about dropping their name, but I'm not going to. That'd be awkward.)

They're not at all that smart of people and I honestly think my social mindset has gone down since I started hanging out with them a lot more, which was 2 years ago. But so does having a girlfriend. I'm not that socially inclined since I don't find more and more random people to challenge me mentally.

The only people I feel right around are the other bloggers I find on facebook. They're living what I want to do but I'm not.

[spacecadetglow]

LOL at "my ego's perfect"... guess MY work here is done!

[Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi]

Birds of a feather flock together, the saying goes. I'm not trying to subtly knock you, I'm wondering why that saying exists. Maybe perchance your friends do say something about you? These are the individuals you associate with on a regular basis, I assume. Experience is the medium of growth, and you grow wherever the experiences lead you so to speak.

Say you started taking a martial arts class and started hanging out with some peeps from the class who are into meditation and physical conditioning and philosophy. I'd venture to guess in about 6 or 7 months time you'd be way more into meditaiton, physical conditioning, and philosophy. Especially if you really enjoyed the company of these imaginary folks and associated frequently outside of class.

The thing is it's a chicken/egg issue. Do you self-select friends that share similar values and outlooks, or do you just kind of end up being friends with people that you meet or have happened to know for a while?

You can have conscious friendships. Well sir, you can have consious anything.

[Federer]

Originally Posted by Bricona

My friends are rockstars and hipsters.

I feel like I'm a social loner who belongs at a 4 year College University, as in I'm actually smart.

You are born in rich heart. You have some blockages because of it you have not allowed the awesomeness flowing through in-outside.

[Tanja]

I'd say yes, meaning that they tell something about one aspect of you.
If you look at my friends, the only thing you can tell about me is that I'm wonderful

On a more serious note, If you don't feel right around them , are they really your friends or just people you hang out with? What was it that drew you to them in the first place?

[AlmostGodess]

Your hipsters friends might represent the artistic part of yourself, or the rebel part. They might also represent a period of your life or a transition to something new. They can also be the "button" that will send you to new dimensions of yourself. In any case, they are a part of your life and of you.

It is good that you feel attracted to other types of people too. This only speaks about how complex you are. It points to certain needs of yours.

[Bricona]

Originally Posted by Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi

Say you started taking a martial arts class and started hanging out with some peeps from the class who are into meditation and physical conditioning and philosophy. I'd venture to guess in about 6 or 7 months time you'd be way more into meditaiton, physical conditioning, and philosophy. Especially if you really enjoyed the company of these imaginary folks and associated frequently outside of class.

How come it always comes down to martial arts on here?

[Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi]

Originally Posted by Bricona

How come it always comes down to martial arts on here?

"They're not at all that smart of people" huh...

Anyways this response leaves me no room for comment, so I'm going to stop responding to the thread now. As spacecadet put it, guess my work here is done.

Fail.

[Mounds]

Lol, I'll give this a try.

I would say yes. You're friends tend to "rub" off on you. That is, subconsciously, we tend to mimic others behavior. If all of your friends smoke, there's a higher chance that you'll end up smoking as well. Goes for language patterns, facial expressions and other activities as well. Maybe it goes back to fitting in with your tribe, who knows? The book "Nudge" talks about this.

What I hear you saying is that you feel as if you're above the people you are hanging around at the moment. I've felt that way in the past as well and in my experience, it's not a healthy mindset. I guess you could say it's elitism. The problem with that mindset is that is that not only do you alienate the people you think you are above, you also alienate the people who you want to be friends with. You basically can't connect with anyone. The moment I believed I was "above" anyone else, all of my relationships started to erode. Friends I wanted to keep didn't appreciate my new attitude either. No one did. Just take a look at this thread. Within ten posts, two people have said, "Happy trails!".

The whole "I'm above everyone" attitude didn't last too long in my case. I got very lonely, very quickly and feared for the friendships I had. It's not a pleasant place to be. It was much more effective to simply look at everyone as being on the same level, no matter what position they are in life. There are people that I chose not to interact with but I would not say I am somehow better than they are. I just choose a different path and that path does not intercept theirs. End of story.

Up to you how you think about it. I would go with the thought process that you're current group of friends are not congruent with what you want out of life at this time. No shame in that. I made major shifts in my friendships this year and it was a wonderful thing. You could also say that you are smarter than them and therefore they aren't worthy of your time. Just remember, it's lonely at the top.

-Tim

[AlmostGodess]

Originally Posted by Mounds

What I hear you saying is that you feel as if you're above the people you are hanging around at the moment. I've felt that way in the past as well and in my experience, it's not a healthy mindset. I guess you could say it's elitism. The problem with that mindset is that is that not only do you alienate the people you think you are above, you also alienate the people who you want to be friends with. You basically can't connect with anyone. The moment I believed I was "above" anyone else, all of my relationships started to erode. Friends I wanted to keep didn't appreciate my new attitude either. No one did. Just take a look at this thread. Within ten posts, two people have said, "Happy trails!".

Just remember, it's lonely at the top.

-Tim

If I want to keep a friendship just because I am afraid of being lonely, is this a healthier mindset? Seems to me just as elitist and unfair.

[Mounds]

Originally Posted by AlmostGodess

If I want to keep a friendship just because I am afraid of being lonely, is this a healthier mindset? Seems to me just as elitist and unfair.

Good question... I've been there as well, waaaaay back in elementary school. I don't know if I can answer this one

[Old Garrick]

Originally Posted by Bricona

How come it always comes down to martial arts on here?

I know this has little to do with the topic but why indeed. It would be one thing if it was the ridiculous die-hards like me (Been practicing since I was six, Jujitsu black belt, experience in Capoeira and five different styles of kung fu, actively looking for some facilities I can use to build a mook jong, saving up for an intensive overseas course, going to to Sambo practice after work (I don't have any Sambo experience because my kung fu techniques work better. Don't learn Wuzuquan before Sambo or Sambo seems a little silly), helped my boss with his tension headaches by showing him some Shaolin Monk eye exercises, recently corresponded with a Shaolin Grandmaster based in Malaysia (he's teaching that course I want to go to)) always harping on about it but for some reason it's always the arty ladies and gents who bring it up. The heck

[Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi]

Originally Posted by Old Garrick

for some reason it's always the arty ladies and gents who bring it up. The heck

The heck indeed, like you know! grumble grumble assumptive jerks I hate men grumble grumble.

I have experience in aikido. My older sister was much better and went above and beyond and did competitions and stuff. But like all the girls tend to we quit when we had kids.

God DAMN it I am pissed off today.

[Old Garrick]

Originally Posted by Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi

The heck indeed, like you know! grumble grumble assumptive jerks I hate men grumble grumble.

I have experience in aikido. My older sister was much better and went above and beyond and did competitions and stuff. But like all the girls tend to we quit when we had kids.

God DAMN it I am pissed off today.

For the record, I wasn't being sexist. A lot of arty sorts of guys bring up martial arts too. Neil Ward just mentioned in another thread how he's given up martial arts for dancing. All I was saying was how it interests me that people I view as non-martial artists want to talk about martial arts so much more than I do.

The thing is, I don't even really consider Aikido a martial art. The Yoshinkan guys are pretty tough and Koichi Tohei's group seems real cool but by and large aikidoka just don't cut it. Of course there are plenty of great aikidoka I don't know about but they're diamonds in the rough. The Aikido practiced today is very different from what O-sensei Ueshiba taught originally which was probably based in Pakuazhang if you believe his student Bruce Frantzis. Aikido as I've seen it is more an elaborate form of standup wrestling rather than a martial art. Granted, I do mean bogus Aikido rather than real Aikido. It's just that bogus is far more common. For fairness sake, I'm a kung fu practitioner and I view Chinese martial arts to be often even more debased. In fact, you could call the Olympic sport Wushu an institutionalization of the debasement of Chinese martial arts.

Also, although I've been training martial arts for most of my life, I've only really been a martial artist as of last year when I began Wuzuquan. Everything before that was really just for show.

[spacecadetglow]

<defending my friend> I don't think she was pissed off because she thought it was sexist, but because you were (and are) being assumptive about what sort of training she's had. And then you go on to say that even if she does have experience in Aikido, it's not a real martial art. How do you know what type of place she trained at? Your reply just seems really arrogant to me, like the OP! Hooooray egotism on the full moon. </defending my friend>

[Weena]

It does if you have a genuine friendship going on and if you don't use them as a way to impress other people.

I have amazing friends... but I don't name drop or career drop in conversations.

I know people who do that... "My friend, who is a GP..." "My friend, who is famous...", "My friend who blaaaahblaaaaahblah!".

What does that say about me? That I respect my friends and their privacy...and that they are not accessories for me to show off with.

wanna be my friend?

[Old Garrick]

Originally Posted by spacecadetglow

<defending my friend> I don't think she was pissed off because she thought it was sexist, but because you were (and are) being assumptive about what sort of training she's had. And then you go on to say that even if she does have experience in Aikido, it's not a real martial art. How do you know what type of place she trained at? Your reply just seems really arrogant to me, like the OP! Hooooray egotism on the full moon. </defending my friend>

Hey, I can see why you're both angry. It's a lot to do with what a ridiculous person I am. To me, the average aikidoka is no big deal. Black belts or whatever, they can't stop a shoulder strike, they've got nothing to counter a seven-star step, their centers of gravity are all up in their chests, their conditioning is abysmal and they can't do a proper atemi which is the cornerstone of their martial art according to the founder himself. I know all this because I've done a little homework. I've trained all around the world, read dozens of books, and trained harder than the typical aikidoka ever will. I practice every single day of the week. No breaks. Weekends are 2-3 hours, weekdays are more like an hour and a half. I'm out in the park every morning before sunup practicing my stances.

The thing is, you probably heard all that in am arrogant tone. If you were talking to me in person, it would be different. I say all that sort of thing like I'm dictating it from a book. It's nothing to fuss over, nothing to make a big stink about. It's a hobby. I even go to some lengths to hide it. Martial Development page on that if you're curious. Thing is, I didn't google that page. I knew exactly what to type into the search bar. I've read the entirety of that blog and a few others as well. I know it sounds arrogant but I know what I'm talking about here.

Now people getting out the torches and pitchforks because I say that Bruce Frantzis, a personal student of Morihei Ueshiba, has a theory that Aikido is derivative of Pakuazhang, that's messed up.

If anyone else has comments on my arrogance, could they take it up via PM?