Leaving "Home" and Living in different places or Countries: share your experiences
 

Dears,

I would love to hear your experience about leaving "home" (places where you were born or spend a considerable time frame or whee your closest friends and relatives live) and moving to different places or countries.

I have been living for many years across 3 different continents (N. America, Europe, Asia) and so far the experience fantastic.

What I miss from "Home":

• family,
• friends,
• my "comfort zone"
• Familiar food
• Familiar landscapes
• losing my (and my family) roots

What I love living around the globe:

• different experiences,
• different scenarios,
• dealing with different people
• different yummy foods,
• different languages,
• an incredible excitement of enjoing every second of this life
• giving my family an international exposure

What about you?

good question! I haven't lived in another country. But the US is so frigging big, that moving from the Midwest to the West Coast was almost like being in another country both distance-wise and culturally.

I did however have the good fortune to visit several countries during my time in the Navy and after. Japan, Korea, Philippines, Australia, Hong Kong, Italy, etc.

What I miss from home is pretty much identical to your list. What I loved about other places, besides the food and scenery, is listening to different languages, finding out how vastly different we all are, and yet how we are all amazingly alike.

Sometimes I think everyone ought to get kicked out of their home land for a year or two and go see some different cultures.

Exactly!


You are also right US are very big.
Additionally traveling from USA to another country can be fairly expensive
...

What I miss from the Netherlands (my birth country)

- Food
- Safety
- Ease with newer technology (everything has a website and everything can be found online, and the internet is SO MUCH FASTER!)

What I missed from Mexico (when we lived in Belgium)

- Food
- Service (seriously.. service in Europe SUCKS big time!)
- The people
- Family (family in law)
- Luxury (luxury is much cheaper in Mexico than Europe)
- Weekend home

I have moved a lot across the world during my adult life. Throughout my studies (for internships and semesters abroad), during a 1 year break and now that I work, I have lived in : California, Japan (3 different places), Malaysia, and now Korea. (I am French by the way).
I have also travelled extensively across Europe and South East Asia, but living in a foreign country is a completely different dynamic.

I don't really think of it in terms of upsides and downsides. There are things that are different and they swing both ways:

Different expectations in social interaction
Different views of life
Different styles of communication
Different traditions (I usually love it, but it often hits me hard around the holidays)
Different foods, technologies, entertainment...

Three years ago i left home for hostel. It was crucial time and i need better academic education. I was in the same state where we live, but was very far away from home and different city. I lived in this for one and half year.

Here is what i missed:

1. Family
2. My computer
3. My friends
4. Out of my comfort zone

But now, i think situation will be different. I am going to businessman and opening up myself. So definitely will leave this country for couple of months and then this time will come. It's good after all. We can experience different and move out of out comfort zone and make our vibes very strong and positive. We can create new friendship and connections family like. :)

Best part of traveling imo.

I left home (Massachusetts) when I was 18 and joined the Army. After that.

I spent 2 and a half months in South Carolina.

2 and a half Months in Texas.

2 and a half months in Virginia.

Went back home to Massachusetts for 8 months.

Then went to Wisconsin for 4 months.

Then went to Iraq for twelve months.


Nothing too crazy or spectacular about any of the experiences, I was on military bases most of the time. But while in Iraq, I did get to interact with some of the people.

And what I missed most, definitely was friends and family.

I don't even know where to begin! lol I have been fascinated with foreign countries and people from other countries since I was still really, really young - even as a child. My first time abroad was at age 13 (although I don't really count that experience as such - long story), followed by what I consider a real experience abroad at age 14 when I came to the US for the first time (I'm Brazilian). Between ages 14 and 19 I visited several countries (mostly the US and countries in Europe), but at age 16 I was already completely open to actually living abroad. All the differences were fascinating to me - culture, language, scenery, food, customs, lifestyles, perspectives, communication, transportation, technology.. you name it, I've been fascinated by all of this all my life.

Fast forward to the present and I've been living in the US for the past 2 years and here's how I feel about the actual experience:

I'm still fascinated by all that!! :D It's simply a fantastic way of experiencing life.

The downside: I knew I would miss some things, but I wasn't either consciously aware or fully prepared for the things I'd miss - and how intensely I'd miss them. I think certain aspects of living abroad catch you by surprise. In my case, it's mostly how intensely I miss my family sometimes and not being a part of my baby nephew's life. I wasn't there when he was born last year. I missed all of the milestones of his first year - and will continue to miss future ones. This is the hardest thing for me to deal with, out of everything else. Second, not being there for birthdays and special celebrations or family gatherings. I absolutely LOVE Christmas in the US, but having to wish my sister Merry Christmas over the phone hits me pretty hard.

Since I'm married to an American, there's also the whole questioning about raising a child (if I ever have one) outside of my own cultural roots. As much as I can pass along a lot of things, it just isn't the same. Still working on this one.

I miss the food!!! lol

This is an odd one: I'm starting to find it hard to be as articulate (in writing and speaking) in Portuguese as I used to be, which is completely bizarre to me!!! Of course you never forget your own native language, but your brain is on a different switch the majority of the time, so every now and then I'll find myself looking for ways to express certain things and not being able to be as articulate or find just the right words. I didn't expect that to happen at all, it's totally bizarre and I doubt it happens to most people.

That being said... despite these things, I'm having a magnificent experience and I wouldn't change a thing. This has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, the amount of personal growth that this type of experience allows for is unparalleled. I'm always (and still) excited about the abundant possibilities for exploring all of the aspects I mentioned in the first paragraph. I may have been born with wanderlust, I find the discoveries extremely exciting and I often feel this burst of life just by realizing how many different things I'm being exposed to.

I have also come to appreciate the positive aspects of the downsides. Being away from my family has actually brought us closer together and helped us make the best of our in person interaction opportunities. Missing the food has encouraged me to explore options, find ingredients and learn how to cook dishes I wouldn't have learned how to cook if I wasn't here, simply because there are more convenient ways to get them back home. Diving so deeply into the language has forced me to improve my communication skills in English which is also gradually helping me become a better writer - in general.

Being married to someone from another country is a separate subject altogether, but it's an intrinsic part of my experience abroad, so from that perspective alone, it magnifies the experience as a whole - I believe it would be completely different to live abroad with someone from your native country. I find it fascinating to learn about his roots, how he grew up, to have our Christmas traditions mixed in the celebration, to have both typically American and Brazilian dinners, to hear his perspectives based on his cultural roots and so on and so forth. Fascinating stuff!!!

I feel very, very alive!! :) My best description is: to me it almost feels like being a child again, surrounded by things to be discovered and learned all the time. Personal development at its best. ;)

Leaving home and living by myself was really big and scary for me at first, but I felt it was necessary. Home was comfortable, but I felt like I was outgrowing it and at times I felt somewhat suffocated by it too. So I packed my proverbial bags and off I went. I've lived in several places since leaving home. Some okay, some awful and some pretty awesome... like the place I'm living in now :)

At first, I really missed home and my family. For several months all I wanted to do was do the course I had signed up to do in this town and then go back home:eek:, but then something happened that has permanently changed my attitude towards moving back home. I met my first real serious boyfriend. It was truuuueee loooove in a matter of weeks. I couldn't bare to be away from him and he to me as well. We loved each other like crazy. After that, I decided I wanted to be here in this new town forever with him!

But then we broke up, pretty messed up. I was really cut about it for months, I worked as a housekeeper when I dated my now ex-bf and was still working there, I left that job early in the year, moved into a granny flat I got through some friends I made. Then I moved into a flat with a friend from the local college. That was heaps fun. We got along well and we had lots of parties, shopping trips, going-outs for coffee! It was pretty lovely and then I met another young man.

I never loved him as intensely as I loved the first one. But he was and will always be very special to me. He is a still a very good friend to me, even though we have broken up. He has also had a very big effect on my life for the better and worst. He helped me get into some proper employment, helped me with my social skills, exposed me to new things and events, taught me how to drive a car and even helped me get the new place I'm living at! At times, it could be very trying to be with him. But I just love him whatever happens. He has and is very supportive of me. I don't think he's the One in a romantic sense, or that we click too well romantically anyway... but we are excellent friends and I have always enjoyed his company in my life.

He is one of the best things about leaving home. But other things too: meeting new people, being able to do your own thing without explaining to others (namely parental authorities), having random cruises in your car (getting lost and then discovering you have almost nooo petrol left!!), hanging out with friends where-ever and whenever, just the freedom to be.

There aren't many things I miss about home. I suppose I miss somebody cooking for me every night :P and helping around with house chores. But even taking on responsibilities like bills or rent don't really faze me. It's handling these responsibilities which are the keys to the freedom I so enjoy and cherish.

Moved some posts of this thread to their own thread:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/s...-children.html

I haven't lived anywhere else than in Hungary, but if everything goes well, I'm going to live in Scotland from next August. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm a bit scared as well :D

4 countries, 3 languages, 2 nationalities!
 

I spent most of my adult life living, studying, working in different countries::
France ( native country )
U.S.A
Canada
U.K
and travelling and studying in Spain.

This is not a lifestyle for the faint of heart. For one thing, leaving family and friends can be daunting. But you soon acquire the ability to make friends anywhere, and instant friends, at that...

The only negative sides, for me have been:
Not having a peer group
Being constantly asked about when I am going to settle down and get well - meaning people ( especially friends and family who stayed put ) to give me unsollicited advice
A resume that's a hard sell. ( But made me acquire top notch interview skills).
Constantly having to start over ( minor time and money loss).
Swiss cheese romantic life ( many people thinking I'm not there to stay, though I believe I don't want that lame excuse from someone )


Positives:
Feeling like I own the world, not like the world owns me.
Having met so many interesting characters.
Intensity of living: high stakes, risks. Putting myself in the situation where I have to find work and a place to stay within a few weeks.
Having the feeling I had more than one life.
Being fluent in 3 languages and socially mobile.
Trusting myself.
Being appreciated for who I really am:a gypsy.
Discovering what true appreciation of one's skills and personality means.
Becoming a citizen of the world and shedding limited cultural boundaries.
...

A few years ago, I visited the Toronto Islands, at a time where I was soul searching, and I came accross a vegetal labyrinth with the title:
It is solved by walking.
It has been my motto in life ever since.