The Purpose of Away-From Values

[billionairekid]

I started a thread a while ago asking for help with creating a set of away-from values. In the thread I was challenged by some of our great members to think outside the box. I kindly asked them to debate this topic in a new thread because I couldn't see their point-of-view. True to what I asked them to do, I investigated my own beliefs and what I found has caused me to create this thread. I'd like to start a debate about the purpose and usefulness of having away-from values

My reasoning for updating my away-from values is that they serve to put up boundaries on what I will not accept. It's the opposite of my toward values, or values I strive to become. I think that having away-from values is a great way to more clearly define my life. Let me say that I am not focusing on them in any way. They are merely a boundary. As an opposite, I think they clearly reflect our dualistic nature.

I've thought about erasing those boundaries and leaving only the toward values. Now, it's important to realize that I'm talking about values that drive one's life subconsciously. These are not values I'm looking at every day and making a conscious decision to enforce.

In your opinion, is it useful to have away-from values? And once again, please consider that these values already exist in your subconscious whether you realize their existence or not. This debate is serving to help decide whether one should or should not spend time creating boundaries on what they think is unacceptable in unison with what they deem is desirable.

[billionairekid]

Shall I play devil's advocate in my own thread?

[VinceG]

What is an away-from value?

[Lioness]

I think Away-From values are helpful when you are not sure of exactly what you DO want. For example, let's say you're in a job you don't particularly like, but you don't know what your ideal job is. You can start by identifying the things you don't like about your job to define your future job.

1) No menial labor

2) No dealing with the public

3) No long hours

etc. This will help you narrow-down the jobs that fit this criteria.

The other scenario that I've found Away-From values to be more effective than toward values are fed-upness. IOW, you get so fed-up with a situation you say "NO MORE." This can be very powerful. For example; a woman has had a longstanding goal of losing weight with minimal success. One day, she goes with firends to an amusement park and the gate for the ride won't close over her stomach. She is humiliated and fed-up. This motivates her to do whatever it takes to lose weight once and for all. She hires a personal trainer. Signs up for home-delivered low-fat meals. Joins a weight-loss support group. Clears her fridge of all fattening foods and stocks it with fruits and veggies. Finds a work-out buddy. Sets her alarm to get up an hour early and starts jogging every day. Instead of saying "I want to lose weight" she is saying, "I will no longer tolerate being fat."

Another case where Away-From works is being scared straight. A smoker has the desire to quit, but can't kick the habit. He's tried the nicotine patch and hypnosis therapy, but only has temporary success. A persistent cough and trouble breathing leads him to the doctor's office. When he finds out he has early lung disease, which can be reversed by quitting smoking, he quits cold turkey. The very idea of lighting-up becomes scary.

Sometimes, if you can harness that same life and death urgency, or the resolve born of total fed-upness, you can reach your goal faster with away-from, than towards.

[SteveTheVisionBoardGuy]

Well, as a new user. I am confused with what you mean by your AWAY-FROM values. Correct me if I got you wrong. If what you mean by AWAY-FROM values, are values that will definitely put your GOAL farther from your reach if you dwell and make use of them. Then, in my point of view, you just need to know the positive and the negative sides of your goal. What you need to do and what you must not. So that, once you are already on the wrong side of your goal, it will be much easier to pull yourself back since from the beginning you have already set your priorities: What you MUST and MUST NOT do.
Just like everything here on Earth, there is a counteraction like: Push and Pull, YIN and YANG, positive and negative energy. It all boils down to PRIORITIZATION.

[Lioness]

If what you mean by AWAY-FROM values, are values that will definitely put your GOAL farther from your reach if you dwell and make use of them.

I believe what the OP means is this:

VALUE: Fit and healthy
AWAY-FROM: Fat, out of breath easily, high blood pressure, clothes getting too small, look bloated

VALUE: Financial prosperity
AWAY-FROM: Living paycheck-to-paycheck, borrowing, maxed-out credit cards, bills overdue, constantly broke.

Sometimes, confronting the reality of the away-from values can be a more powerful motivator than aiming for the positive value. It has a kick-in-the-pants effect.

[SatvikBeri]

Originally Posted by billionairekid

I started a thread a while ago asking for help with creating a set of away-from values. In the thread I was challenged by some of our great members to think outside the box. I kindly asked them to debate this topic in a new thread because I couldn't see their point-of-view. True to what I asked them to do, I investigated my own beliefs and what I found has caused me to create this thread. I'd like to start a debate about the purpose and usefulness of having away-from values

My reasoning for updating my away-from values is that they serve to put up boundaries on what I will not accept. It's the opposite of my toward values, or values I strive to become. I think that having away-from values is a great way to more clearly define my life. Let me say that I am not focusing on them in any way. They are merely a boundary. As an opposite, I think they clearly reflect our dualistic nature.

I've thought about erasing those boundaries and leaving only the toward values. Now, it's important to realize that I'm talking about values that drive one's life subconsciously. These are not values I'm looking at every day and making a conscious decision to enforce.

In your opinion, is it useful to have away-from values? And once again, please consider that these values already exist in your subconscious whether you realize their existence or not. This debate is serving to help decide whether one should or should not spend time creating boundaries on what they think is unacceptable in unison with what they deem is desirable.

Away-from values are certainly there, and people think in terms of them all the time. I think they're a *great* clarifying tool-as Lioness said, it's often easier to figure out that you don't like a job, than to figure out what your ideal job is. Away-from emotions are often just stronger.

I think away-from values are best used to associate pain with a habit you don't want to break, or with not keeping a habit that you do want. You can use the thought of a job you hate or the thought of wheezing and being unfit and associate that with not working hard to find new work, or not exercising.

I wouldn't focus on away-from values other than for those two purposes though, because that would just be a sucky life...if you spend most of your time thinking about things that you don't like, you probably won't feel very good.

[Kei]

I had never heard of away-from values before, but I can see how they might be useful as explained above. Surely it's good to remind yourself of what you're getting away from as you work towards your goals. Thanks for sharing!

[billionairekid]

To clarify there seems to be a train of thought commonly excepted in the world of personal development that there are two types of values. There are values you move towards such as wealth, health and freedom. And there are values you move away from such as anger, poverty and insignificance.

Now I did an experiment with myself where I used hypnosis to make changes to my towards values. I set them up so that there were 10 values that were supposed to be driving my life towards what I wanted. An example of my first 3 toward values are I used discipline, excellence and success.

After 3 weeks of having these new toward values installed, I've reinforced them as well, I haven't had many behavioral changes. And as I understand, behavior is often guided by our values. So having made such drastic changes to my toward values, something should have clicked right?

I believe that I'm an away from person. I could move towards anything but it doesn't motivate me subconsciously. And your subconscious is really where all the power is So I'm now doing an experiment where I'm going to make deep changes to my away from values. Basically I'm choosing to use the opposites of my toward values so I'm still moving in the direction I want to go but I'll have proper motivation.

There is another question I'd like to ask as I didn't expect my results to occur the way they have. Is it possible, on a deep level, to change the way someone is oriented? Obviously moving away from something isn't as clear of a path as moving towards something is. But in my case, I have no motivation to move towards my goals. Rather, I spend my time moving away from experiences I do not want to have and leaves many paths before me to choose. Could I reorient myself?

[CoolBee]

I think some of the difficulty in getting to grips with this might be the use of the word 'value' which is normally used with a presumption of 'goodness' of some sort about it. So using it to apply to things with some not-commonly-perceived-as-goodness might cause things to jar a bit in the mind.
I first noticed this baggage of 'implied goodness' about the word 'value' which should be neutral, about a year ago when I was trying to write an essay on the subject!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by billionairekid

Is it possible, on a deep level, to change the way someone is oriented?

Yup. TIME Techniques -- it routinely leaves people feeling tremendously more towards-motivated. (We do a values elicitation and an examination of towards- and away-from motivation, so it's pretty clear to the person that they've shifted.)

[billionairekid]

Originally Posted by Angela

Yup. TIME Techniques -- it routinely leaves people feeling tremendously more towards-motivated. (We do a values elicitation and an examination of towards- and away-from motivation, so it's pretty clear to the person that they've shifted.)

I want to use my hypnosis session to create and compound new away from motivators. And in that same session I want to establish a way to get as far away from those motivators as possible by linking distance to my toward values. I've been struggling with language as to how I can establish new away from motivators. Maybe I'm over thinking it.

Can you suggest something you might do to establish new away from motivators? I know the scrooge process Tony Robbins uses and that may be effective. I haven’t worked much with Timelines as I feel limited to what I can achieve using a recording for hypnotic purposes.

[James81]

I believe your "towards motivators" will automatically create "away from" values.

If I'm moving towards my computer, i'm automatically moving away from the table behind me.

Except a bold focus on towards motivators will feel better than a bold focus on away from values. Plus, away from values do not add any real focus or direction.

[billionairekid]

Originally Posted by James81

I believe your "towards motivators" will automatically create "away from" values.

If I'm moving towards my computer, i'm automatically moving away from the table behind me.

Except a bold focus on towards motivators will feel better than a bold focus on away from values. Plus, away from values do not add any real focus or direction.

I agree that towards motivators can create away from motivators. I disagree from my position that moving towards something would feel better for me. Objectively speaking my unconscious is far more interested in moving away from experiences than it is in moving towards goals and values. I have experimented with this at great lengths over the past 2 years.

Those experiments include using self-hypnosis to administer and strengthen towards values I had chosen. I think it's important to note once again that there is a difference between a conscious boundary and an unconscious motivator. You may conscious want to move towards wealth but there can be a horde of unconscious junk/beliefs/or conflicting values that can keep you away from moving towards wealth despite your conscious intention.

I learned long ago that while the conscious mind is powerful it also has limitations. I've been working to use the strengths of each mind so that I'm pulled towards successes I want to experience.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by billionairekid

I agree that towards motivators can create away from motivators. I disagree from my position that moving towards something would feel better for me. Objectively speaking my unconscious is far more interested in moving away from experiences than it is in moving towards goals and values. I have experimented with this at great lengths over the past 2 years.

Do you mean in a "one step forward, two steps back" kinda way?

Those experiments include using self-hypnosis to administer and strengthen towards values I had chosen. I think it's important to note once again that there is a difference between a conscious boundary and an unconscious motivator. You may conscious want to move towards wealth but there can be a horde of unconscious junk/beliefs/or conflicting values that can keep you away from moving towards wealth despite your conscious intention.

I found that it's important to get quiet enough to really recognize which beliefs are conflicting with your focus and desires...meditation helps with that, as you probably know.

I learned long ago that while the conscious mind is powerful it also has limitations. I've been working to use the strengths of each mind so that I'm pulled towards successes I want to experience.