People As People

[Liaison]

I've started to notice lately that I can't conceptualize people as people. The quote 1 is a tradgedy and 1000 is a statistic [death wise] seems fitting for what I'm tying to get across. I'm not really sure how to change my way of thinking, but I find it is something I do want. I think I will be documenting my own progress in changing my views here. Feel free to add your own advice or comments. I shall post more later.

-Li

[truant]

How are you progressing, Li?

Could you explain in a little more detail what you mean by 'conceptualize people as people'? Could you go into what you would like to accomplish?

[StevenHandel]

Don't conceptualize, empathize. Be interested in other's worldviews, ask questions, want to learn about them, sympathize with their suffering and struggles, be proud of their accomplishments.

[Cochonette]

You can't just study numbers. There's part of your problem right there. Of course you don't see "1" or "1000" as people. You have to read/hear their stories, forget that their suffering is other than yours. Lose yourself in others. It's hard to do that when you see them as mere numbers. One thing that really (painfully) enhanced my sense of compassion was watching videos of factory farming. I was totally horrified and did not see "animals/others suffering," but just "suffering." I cried and cried for them the way I've cried for myself. That was a breakthrough.

[Leesah]

I think striking a balance is the best way. Not seeing 1,000 people as individual people can be ... harsh, unfeeling? (I'm not sure?) but sometimes you can go too far. For example I feel absolutely terrible whenever I read about somebody being hurt or dying. Even if I don't know them I can imagine it as if it were myself or someone I love. I feel terrible for their family. I was told about a woman dying last week and was so affected by it, but had never met her. I would to an extent like to be able to turn off and see mere statistics sometimes! I've had to stop reading/watching news because I can't deal with the emotion it evokes. I can't bear to even read a headline about someone being killed. I even hate it when people die in films!

I'm interested to hear you elaborate on what your 'problem' really is and why you feel the need to change.
My 'advice' if you really want to feel more empathatic would be .. when something happens to a person and you think it's a statistic, remember that that person possibly had a mother, a father, siblings, maybe children. They had thoughts and dreams and ... can't even write about it as I'm beginning to feel upset for this imaginary person I'm imagining has died ... how crap is that!

[Servina]

Originally Posted by Liaison

I've started to notice lately that I can't conceptualize people as people. The quote 1 is a tradgedy and 1000 is a statistic [death wise] seems fitting for what I'm tying to get across. I'm not really sure how to change my way of thinking, but I find it is something I do want. I think I will be documenting my own progress in changing my views here. Feel free to add your own advice or comments. I shall post more later.

-Li

Try interacting with more live people and stop watching telly. That way, dealing with numbers won't be an issue, because you will be in some sort of personal relationship with everyone who communicates with you. Might work.

[sling15]

One thing we need to realise is that there are good people and bad people. Just because you meet one bad person today, that means all people are bad and if you meet one good person, then that means all people are good.

If we go around with the kind of thinking that people are bad then everyone we meet, we will look for the bad and negative in them and we will draw it out of them andd we will fail to see the good in them.

To change people is one of the hardest things in the world but you can make a decision today to try to see the good in people and to get around people who are positive and making a difference in lives e.g in your community, church or other non profit group....

When you hang around like minded people they will change the way you perceive other people....

[Entelechy]

Originally Posted by Liaison

I've started to notice lately that I can't conceptualize people as people. The quote 1 is a tradgedy and 1000 is a statistic [death wise] seems fitting for what I'm tying to get across. I'm not really sure how to change my way of thinking, but I find it is something I do want. I think I will be documenting my own progress in changing my views here. Feel free to add your own advice or comments. I shall post more later.

-Li

Ah, a natural born economist. I can relate.

I believe one poster got the solution right though - practice empathy more if you want to change your feelings.

If you're having a hard time doing that (which seems to be a common issue for people who view the world in terms of numbers), ask yourself how many close relationships you have. Answer honestly. Do not lie to make yourself feel better or to shield your ego.

If you have close relationships with people, or even one person, make it a priority to replicate those feelings you experience when they are around with others. That is a genuine human connection and seems to be what you are looking for.

If you don't have any close relationships, that's the problem. This makes it easy to see people as numbers because in a sense they almost are. Subconsciously they're very distant from you.

Luckily, the latter problem is easy to fix. Pick up How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie and turn the world into your playground. Enjoy!

[faithsdaddy]

Suspect you are losing perspective. The brain acts as a filter and when we try to pass beyond it's limitations without first expanding our ability to do so, it causes frustration. Imagine trying to see from the back of your head, or willing other people to move to your thoughts. Can get frustrating trying to work within existing parameters.

Also, people are NOT people. They are just the crudest manifestation of spiritual existence. Perhaps you are intuitively gaining insight into that perspective?

1 person in 100 will think 'aha, smart man that Nick'. The other 99 of you will think 'what the f**k has he been smoking'

[HarrisNanthakumar]

Originally Posted by Entelechy

Ah, a natural born economist. I can relate.

I believe one poster got the solution right though - practice empathy more if you want to change your feelings.

If you're having a hard time doing that (which seems to be a common issue for people who view the world in terms of numbers), ask yourself how many close relationships you have. Answer honestly. Do not lie to make yourself feel better or to shield your ego.

If you have close relationships with people, or even one person, make it a priority to replicate those feelings you experience when they are around with others. That is a genuine human connection and seems to be what you are looking for.

If you don't have any close relationships, that's the problem. This makes it easy to see people as numbers because in a sense they almost are. Subconsciously they're very distant from you.

Luckily, the latter problem is easy to fix. Pick up How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie and turn the world into your playground. Enjoy!

I love that book! I have that book!

One question I want to ask is how do you make friends without trying too hard? I think I have this belief that it's hard to attract good friends.

Thank y'all