Away-from Values

[billionairekid]

I did a search and couldn't come up with anything relevant to the topic of away-from values. On Steve's blog, he has a great article listing over 300 values. My problem is that they are all positive values. I did not see any articles linked within his blog that discussed negative values or things you want to move away from.

In life there are two motivating factors - things you want to move towards and things you want to move away from. I'm creating a list of values that I want to move away from and I'm having a very hard time creating such a list (maybe because I had shifted my focus towards things I want during the past 2 years).

I probably could have made a powerful list 2 years ago but my brain has gone blank now.

Are there any articles you know of listing negative values or things you want to move away from? If not, could we create such a list here

[truant]

Please read this thread before continuing: Laws of Attraction Question.

[billionairekid]

Originally Posted by truant

Please read this thread before continuing: Laws of Attraction Question.

Here's my problem with all of the law of attraction information circulating the internet; it has never been scientifically proven to be accurate. IMO, the law of attraction is an incomplete description of one way life works. People say that the subconscious doesn't recognize negative commands but there's one problem with that: I'm a hypnotist and regularly use negative commands which the subconscious mind responds too.

I cannot accept that way of thinking because to me it seems obviously flawed. I am focusing on what I want... and my away from value list is another way to declare to the universe what I want. Our human nervous system works with two factors; pain and pleasure. It drives all human behavior. And you cannot debate that.

I appreciate your link and for responding to my thread

I'm still looking for away-from values

[Bricona]

I feel like I want to reply to this thread but I don't fully understand all the information that's happening on this thread.

[Sue_B]

BK - isn't that some Anthony Robbins talks about? Maybe his site or forum has info...

[Angela]

You might want to look inside your towards-motivators, and see if there's any hidden away-from motivation lurking in there.

For instance, if you have "Abundance" on your towards list -- ask yourself what's important about abundance? what else? what else? you may find that there's something like "to not be poor" or "so I'll be safe when I'm older" or "so I can retire early" or "so women will be attracted" ... or whatever -- all hiders of away-from motivation ..... away-from motivators aren't always obvious, so you may have to look boldly.

[billionairekid]

Originally Posted by Sue_B

BK - isn't that some Anthony Robbins talks about? Maybe his site or forum has info...

Yes it is from Tony Robbins. I've studied what he's put out on the subject but like any intelligent business person, he keeps the real good stuff for his own personal arsenal. I've spent a lot of time working to uncover what it is he actually does with his clients and this is another step I'm taking to get closer to being able to produce the same results he does.

Originally Posted by Angela

You might want to look inside your towards-motivators, and see if there's any hidden away-from motivation lurking in there.

For instance, if you have "Abundance" on your towards list -- ask yourself what's important about abundance? what else? what else? you may find that there's something like "to not be poor" or "so I'll be safe when I'm older" or "so I can retire early" or "so women will be attracted" ... or whatever -- all hiders of away-from motivation ..... away-from motivators aren't always obvious, so you may have to look boldly.

I've done digging into my current away-from motivators and I've found that they aren't very helpful . I wanted to change them so they support my towards motivators. Finding new away-from motivators has been challenging since I'm only aware of the one's I currently use

[Cado]

From a purely practical perspective I find it simpler to focus on positive motivators. Yes, it would be great to stop eating in excess, but what do I want to do instead? If I focus on a doing something which would require me to stop the undesired behavior then I'm able to kill two birds with one stone while mentally framing it as a single task.

I think it's true that the brain, the subconscious in particular, responds to negative and positive just the same, but when consciously utilizing a negative motivation it's most effective when it's fueling my efforts to do something else. For example: when I was a fatass and I was trying to work out I'd mentally scream something like, "Are you gonna be fat for the rest of your life?" "No!" and repeat it over and over until I was so determined that the rest of the exercise was practically automatic. That has never worked in a situation where I knew I wanted to stop doing something but I didn't have a clear destination in mind.

[billionairekid]

Originally Posted by Illustro Cado

From a purely practical perspective I find it simpler to focus on positive motivators. Yes, it would be great to stop eating in excess, but what do I want to do instead? If I focus on a doing something which would require me to stop the undesired behavior then I'm able to kill two birds with one stone while mentally framing it as a single task.

I think it's true that the brain, the subconscious in particular, responds to negative and positive just the same, but when consciously utilizing a negative motivation it's most effective when it's fueling my efforts to do something else. For example: when I was a fatass and I was trying to work out I'd mentally scream something like, "Are you gonna be fat for the rest of your life?" "No!" and repeat it over and over until I was so determined that the rest of the exercise was practically automatic. That has never worked in a situation where I knew I wanted to stop doing something but I didn't have a clear destination in mind.

This is the type of thinking I would like to utilize. I want to create away-from values that specifically support my towards values. So, for an example, if I want to move towards wealth I want to move away from poverty.

This gets harder when you have a value like excellence. What's the opposite of excellence?

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by billionairekid

This is the type of thinking I would like to utilize. I want to create away-from values that specifically support my towards values. So, for an example, if I want to move towards wealth I want to move away from poverty.

This gets harder when you have a value like excellence. What's the opposite of excellence?

Mediocrity.

[Andrew Gubb]

Here's my problem with all of the law of attraction information circulating the internet; it has never been scientifically proven to be accurate.

By its own nature, you have to prove it in your experience and not through science.

Read Esther Hicks: "Ask and It Is Given" before you give up on LoA yet. There are a lot of secondary sources out there but the original books by Abraham/hicks are by far the best.

[elucidate]

Yeah, I remember when I didn't believe in any of it either. Everything had to be scientifically proven for me to take it seriously.

The beauty is we are our own scientists...so get down to experimenting with it and come to your own conclusions. Don't rely on the 'experts' to make up your mind for you. Getting out of your own way in your Intellect is the best way to go about it IME.

[lifeforce]

1. What are the 5 negative emotions would you avoid at all costs?
(For example anger.)

2. What situations trigger those emotions?
(When someone arrogantly tries to push me around and tell me what to do)

3. What about those situations trigger that emotion?
(I like to decide for myself what is best for me. So "being controlled" is one away from value)

4. Bonus: How can you, now that you are aware, CHOOSE to respond/react/behavior change so you don´t auto-respond with that emotion?
(Detach. Say thank you for the information. I´ll take it into consideration.)

[Cado]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Yeah, I remember when I didn't believe in any of it either. Everything had to be scientifically proven for me to take it seriously.

I love science but the current methodology doesn't allow for the extraordinary aspects of existence to enter into the equation. I think the power of the mind can be proven but it will take creativity and innovation to make it so. Right now we're alternating extremes-we've come out of the dark ages of unreason and we've entered a world where anything which sounds at all like what was believed then is rejected out of hand. It is a step forward but it's highly limiting. I wonder when or if it will change?

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Illustro Cado

I love science but the current methodology doesn't allow for the extraordinary aspects of existence to enter into the equation. I think the power of the mind can be proven but it will take creativity and innovation to make it so. Right now we're alternating extremes-we've come out of the dark ages of unreason and we've entered a world where anything which sounds at all like what was believed then is rejected out of hand. It is a step forward but it's highly limiting. I wonder when or if it will change?

It's extremely encouraging to know that many scientists are starting to accept this as well, and have taken that leap into the unknown, prepared to discover and admit that they may have been wrong, and want to see what lies beyond their finite minds. I have nothing but respect for those people, given the crusty walls they have had to scale within their own circles, and all the naysayers. It's brave of them to step away from that.

[Brutha]

Our human nervous system works with two factors; pain and pleasure. It drives all human behavior. And you cannot debate that.

Actually you can. It's not like there are pain neurons and pleasure neurons.

[SatvikBeri]

Originally Posted by Illustro Cado

I love science but the current methodology doesn't allow for the extraordinary aspects of existence to enter into the equation. I think the power of the mind can be proven but it will take creativity and innovation to make it so. Right now we're alternating extremes-we've come out of the dark ages of unreason and we've entered a world where anything which sounds at all like what was believed then is rejected out of hand. It is a step forward but it's highly limiting. I wonder when or if it will change?

We're getting there. Consider the change in the public perception of the placebo effect. As late as the 50's people thought of the placebo effect as insane and mystical. Now it's an ordinary scientific phenomenon and most people don't even consider it surprising. The same goes with visualizing exercise-a while ago it was crazy. Now it's a normal part of top athletes' training.

There are tons and tons of scientific studies on the power of the mind. ALG has posted a lot of them. But it can be hard to feel like we're making progress because the things that were discovered-like the placebo effect-have just become common knowledge. This is actually another well documented psychological phenomenon

[billionairekid]

Originally Posted by Brutha

Actually you can. It's not like there are pain neurons and pleasure neurons.

Pain and pleasure are generalizations to describe the various array of chemicals that are released throughout our bodies in response to something that we have labeled a painful experience or something we have labeled a pleasurable experience and any experience in between.

[billionairekid]

I do not debate that the law of attraction exists. It's merely one facet in a cohering mass of tools one can use to navigate their life. However, the mind is not the only factor in life's existence, in my opinion. And while the law of attraction does work in many circumstances, its not a real scientific law as the law of gravity is. Gravity exists whether you believe it or not. Your limiting beliefs about gravity does not effect how gravity works. The same cannot be said about the law of attraction

[JHL]

Originally Posted by billionairekid

In life there are two motivating factors - things you want to move towards and things you want to move away from. I'm creating a list of values that I want to move away from...

Your approach doesn't really make sense to me. Why would you want to invest energy and focus in what you don't want?

Surely its a more expedient usage of energy to only focus on what you do want? If you want excellence and focus on it - doesn't that by default imply that you desire to move away from mediocrity?

Its like the comparison with a racing car driver who aims his sights at where he wants the car to go, not where he doesn't. Why would he also think about not ending up on the pavement? Wouldn't his focus on this introduce an even greater likelihood that he will by sowing doubt?

I are confused. Please explain your reasoning?

[truant]

I get what you're saying, BK. Of course negative reinforcement works. People use it all of the time. Like people who look at their parents and say: "I never want to be like them!" and then make a point of doing everything opposite, or people who look at themselves in the mirror and say: "Why did I let myself get so fat? That's it! From now on, no more pumpkin pie after midnight!" Behavior modification depends on these sorts of reactions to help people quit smoking, lose weight, etc. It's old hat. Negative reinforcement works.

But that's not the whole story. Negative reinforcement may, indeed, be very useful for making highly specific changes in your life, like quitting smoking or cocaine. The problem is, negative reinforcement doesn't work very well in other areas, like choosing a career or selecting a life partner. You need really strong 'toward' values to really be effective in these areas. I think a lot of the confusion in this thread stems from people not seeing clearly how these techniques are different and where they can be useful and why you would want to use a screwdriver to hammer a nail.

If you have a sweet enough carrot, you don't need to whip the mule.

[JHL]

Originally Posted by truant

I get what you're saying, BK. Of course negative reinforcement works. People use it all of the time. Like people who look at their parents and say: "I never want to be like them!" and then make a point of doing everything opposite, or people who look at themselves in the mirror and say: "Why did I let myself get so fat? That's it! From now on, no more pumpkin pie after midnight!" Behavior modification depends on these sorts of reactions to help people quit smoking, lose weight, etc. It's old hat. Negative reinforcement works.

But that's not the whole story. Negative reinforcement may, indeed, be very useful for making highly specific changes in your life, like quitting smoking or cocaine. The problem is, negative reinforcement doesn't work very well in other areas, like choosing a career or selecting a life partner. You need really strong 'toward' values to really be effective in these areas. I think a lot of the confusion in this thread stems from people not seeing clearly how these techniques are different and where they can be useful and why you would want to use a screwdriver to hammer a nail.

If you have a sweet enough carrot, you don't need to whip the mule.

Good explanation truant, that clears it up for me. Thinking about it, its a similar approach that requires cigarette manufacturers to put health warnings and now ghastly images on the packs. That would certainly motivate me

[billionairekid]

I'm not here to convince anyone of anything. Those that have responded to this thread with anything other than a useful resource to help me with building my away-from list might want to check out their own realities. You may be rejecting a resource based on your image of how you want life to be rather than how it exsits.

I thank those that have helped me on my mission (as there were a couple of really useful responses ) and I hope those that want to debate the usefulness of away-from values start their own thread.