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11-15-2010, 01:04 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Currently in Dublin
Posts: 302
 |  Fear of Decision
I'm afraid of making huge decisions. I used to think that I'm getting better at this, at finding purpose at doing more things related to that but I see that the decisions are weak. The main decision about my goal in life is weak too. I seem to know it and go for it but lack of discipline is hurting it badly...I know the price to pay is gonna be HUGE, I can probably pay it but damn... looks like fear is holding me back.. ghrrr... Who's been in the place like that? Last edited by DBV; 11-15-2010 at 01:07 AM. |
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11-15-2010, 01:19 AM
| #2 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 2,700
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11-15-2010, 01:25 AM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Currently in Dublin
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11-15-2010, 02:03 AM
| #4 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Las Vegas, NV
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11-16-2010, 08:43 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Berkeley California
Posts: 235
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With whatever decision you make you'll always find some great spots about it. However, on the road to things, you can't just keep staring at the scenery. You need to move forward and make these goals and try to make these things happen. They don't even have to be crazy things. Just things that are different. |
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11-29-2010, 03:42 AM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: West Chester, PA
Posts: 43
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Big decisions are tough, but this also reminds me of "the paradox of choice" --the more choices we have, the less likely we will decide. So with your big decisions, you may have two or more really desirable potential outcomes. Overcome your fear, choose one, and let the cards fall where they may. If you fail, you are back at square one, but at least you know you made a choice instead of sitting back and not deciding.
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11-29-2010, 08:51 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Brasília, Brazil
Posts: 3
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Hey! I agree that everyone has, at one point or another, been faced with fear when dealing with tough decisions. I don't think there's a secret recipe to deal with it though. One important point is to accept fear and to let go of the idea that you can't do something because you're afraid. This is a major hold back. The sentence "I can't do it, I'm afraid!" is said too much. Accept fear and act regardless. Here's a good exercise for you to practise: 1. Imagine yourself standing in your house, 10 feet away from the open door. It's a beautiful day and you really want to go outside. What's out there represents your dreams and highest goals. 2. Now, recall the last time you felt fear or self-doubt. Try to feel that fear, as if you were truly experiencing it, and then translate that feeling into an image. The feeling jumps out from you and takes on the form of a being. Each one will naturally create a unique image. When you have the image, call it Mr or Ms. Fear (or Mr. Self Doubt, Mr. Insecurity) 3. Create a video in your mind of this scene: you start walking to the door. You want to go out towards your dreams and goals. But when you're about to go out, Mr Fear jumps out in front of you and says: “You can't do this! You're not ready!” 4. Let yourself be stopped by Mr. Fear, like you have done so many times in your life. Experience the feeling of allowing that to happen. Feel the frustration. 5. Now repeat the scene in your mind over and over again. Do that, until you start feeling angry. You're angry that you allow yourself to be stopped by Mr. Fear. 6. When you can really feel the anger, repeat the scene again. But this time, instead of allowing yourself to be stopped, you don't. When Mr. Fear jumps out in front of you telling you to stop, you simply ignore him and just do it. You go outside, into your dreams, into your future. Think of how much you want to go outside, and how much this is important for you. 7. Realise how different it feels to take action. You acknowledge the fear, but you act regardless. Feel the joy and power of action. This exercise if pretty awesome =) Cheers! |
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12-04-2010, 03:34 PM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Singapore
Posts: 39
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Fear is a cycle, the more u fear the more indecision/ inaction, that leads to even more inexperience and less confidence and competency, and then the fear grows. So the best way to break the fear cycle is to take action towards your fear, no matter how small to confront it, gain experience, just do it, be more competent and confidence and get better at it, keep taking small steps and eventully the fear can be conquered. Do not focus too much on the negative consequences and negative thoughts and the reasons to fail. Instead focus on the positive thoughts and reasons to succeed. |
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