Who Are You?

[Lifeisamazing]

Please tell me about yourself. What are your strengths and weaknesses, what do you like and what don't you like?

[Bricona]

My name is Jonathan Manor, and I've lived a life that has always seemed to be the shortest straw in the bunch. Everyday it was just another problem for me. Another reason to walk somewhere no one would know I would be, and wait until the day ended. I started to not care. Not care about people's feelings or do anything for anyone. I became an jerk who only cared about himself.

I remembered the days before that where I would be proper. Everyone loved me. Everyone wanted to see me. My friends hated me because I was so perfect. But one day I couldn't hide anymore. Something happened to me near the end of high school, and I just didn't care.

Today, despite some bipolar extremities, I want to find balance. I know there's a good to being bad, and I know that I'm not evil.

Jerk Advantages:

Jerks have a way of saying whatever they want when they want. They have the ability to not care about what other people think.

Losers and the advantages of being a tool:

People who tend to please everyone earn other people's respect and trust.

I'm hoping to find the balance between those two and try to not make as many mistakes as I was when I hated life.

[Hemlock]

Your response flowed kind of rap like, that was interesting, I approve. Jerk and loser tool seems to be the spots you are/were in? But you can be a nice guy that doesn't take unfair **** from others if that interests you, it's where I try to be around most the time if i can manage it.

Faults wise for me would mainly be that my will power isn't good enough yet where I can just play myself like a game and if I say, "wake up at 5 am tomorrow and study for two hours and then exercise." it happens. That and I have some fear blocks for the oddest things. Traveling alone, at night, lost in a place I don't know the language and in the area I was told I should never walk at night, no worries, enjoy the night air. However, starting some business venture, or putting all my work into something I'm not sure will work out, no good yet.

Awesomeness wise I love the body I was given, it works really well without having to worry much. Maybe I should thank karate when I was five and hopping from stone to stone, running through the woods etc when I was a kid, but I really like how well my body moves, how it can run down mountains gull speed without catching on rocks and roots and killing me. Though on that note I also really like how good my reflexes are in deathy situations.

The mind is also pretty cool, didn't really get much in emotions until my college years, mainly just had affection or didn't have affection. But now I've discovered sadness, minor bit of depression, feeling like I'm up against a wall, even anxiety and fear. The wonderful thing is there all kind of new, so I kinda like them, their interesting.

The general lack of fear is fun, and probably relates to the even cooler trait of a naturally calm mind. Besides that being up to par intelligence wise is nice.

Oh, and I can run in jeans without it causing some kind of rash? I was recently told that was rare.

[Hemlock]

On a side note lifeisamazing, why are you not speaking out against and for yourself?

[Bricona]

Originally Posted by Hemlock

Your response flowed kind of rap like, that was interesting, I approve. Jerk and loser tool seems to be the spots you are/were in? But you can be a nice guy that doesn't take unfair **** from others if that interests you, it's where I try to be around most the time if i can manage it.

Faults wise for me would mainly be that my will power isn't good enough yet where I can just play myself like a game and if I say, "wake up at 5 am tomorrow and study for two hours and then exercise." it happens. That and I have some fear blocks for the oddest things. Traveling alone, at night, lost in a place I don't know the language and in the area I was told I should never walk at night, no worries, enjoy the night air. However, starting some business venture, or putting all my work into something I'm not sure will work out, no good yet.

Awesomeness wise I love the body I was given, it works really well without having to worry much. Maybe I should thank karate when I was five and hopping from stone to stone, running through the woods etc when I was a kid, but I really like how well my body moves, how it can run down mountains gull speed without catching on rocks and roots and killing me. Though on that note I also really like how good my reflexes are in deathy situations.

The mind is also pretty cool, didn't really get much in emotions until my college years, mainly just had affection or didn't have affection. But now I've discovered sadness, minor bit of depression, feeling like I'm up against a wall, even anxiety and fear. The wonderful thing is there all kind of new, so I kinda like them, their interesting.

The general lack of fear is fun, and probably relates to the even cooler trait of a naturally calm mind. Besides that being up to par intelligence wise is nice.

Oh, and I can run in jeans without it causing some kind of rash? I was recently told that was rare.

Thanks Hemlock. Nice people can choose not to take ish from people. It's just about finding that balance between being a nice guy and being a total jerk. In my opinion I think that the further you become as a jerk and the further you become as a nice guy, the further you get the best of both worlds, to quote hannah montana However, I do believe there ends up being a lot psychological issues with bipolarity, OCD, regret, all that super fun stuff.

My body has been torn down since all I remember. I still have the six pack and broad manly chests stuff, but for some reason I've always had to push my body to do things. I ran track, cross country, and did wrestling back in High School, and I was always the person who got injured the most. Injuring my back, shin splints, dislocated shoulder, runner's knee, other knee things. I had to stop running because I messed up my knees. Now I only work out twice a week for 30 minutes a day because Tim Ferris said so. And since then I've gained some very attractive muscle.

[Lifeisamazing]

Originally Posted by Bricona

My name is Jonathan Manor, and I've lived a life that has always seemed to be the shortest straw in the bunch. Everyday it was just another problem for me. Another reason to walk somewhere no one would know I would be, and wait until the day ended. I started to not care. Not care about people's feelings or do anything for anyone. I became an jerk who only cared about himself.

I remembered the days before that where I would be proper. Everyone loved me. Everyone wanted to see me. My friends hated me because I was so perfect. But one day I couldn't hide anymore. Something happened to me near the end of high school, and I just didn't care.

Today, despite some bipolar extremities, I want to find balance. I know there's a good to being bad, and I know that I'm not evil.

Jerk Advantages:

Jerks have a way of saying whatever they want when they want. They have the ability to not care about what other people think.

Losers and the advantages of being a tool:

People who tend to please everyone earn other people's respect and trust.

I'm hoping to find the balance between those two and try to not make as many mistakes as I was when I hated life.

Yes, definitely an interesting response. What makes you say that you are a jerk? How do you care only about yourself?

I've always felt that people who please everybody are so fake and phony.

[Lifeisamazing]

Originally Posted by Hemlock

On a side note lifeisamazing, why are you not speaking out against and for yourself?

I needed to be asked that.

My backround
I was one of the most controversial students in the first and second grade in my first school. I didn't care about studying at all and I was super energized, always looking for some kind of trouble.

When I changed my school and moved to live in a suburban area, I became an A+ student. I became legitimately interested in great grades and being really smart. Guess what, no one liked that. So there wasn't a single day when I didn't have to fight someone or even seven people at once. Not smoking nor drinking didn't help either.

I couldn't resist drinking alcohol forever though and when I started drinking at around 16, I suddenly became interesting to everybody, even for my worst enemies.

Now
I've always wanted to win and be different than the rest. Losing makes me mad. This has probably also made me very selfish. I can help other people do something but I'd really like to be acknowledged for that, or I need to accomplish something without a team. When you give me a recipe, I'll never follow it step-by-step, I'll most likely alter it 90%. So I'm very stubborn and always want to go my way even if it means the wrong way. On my soccer team I was someone who wanted to have the ball 100% of the time and score all the goals by dribbling through the entire opposite team.

There was no one around me to influence me to care about my health and physique other than the fact that I want to be different than my mother and father who are both overweight. I've always felt sensitive towards obesity.

I'm consistently thinking about what I want from life, what my true dreams are. I'm changing all the time. Yesterday, I might have wanted to become a professional athlete, whereas tomorrow I might want to start my own sports club. It might be even so frequent that an hour ago I wanted to become a sports analyst but an hour later I'd want to become a fitness writer.

I've always been great at sports and pretty good at languages, so my best intelligences probably are kinesthetic and verbal. I'm very extraverted and want a lot of attention all the time. I'd love to have my own TV show or a radio show but I don't have enough courage yet. I like to talk talk and talk, whereas I need to learn to listen better. I'm extremely impatient and cannot sit still for long, I need to be moving and doing something all the time. It's hard for me to just rest or relax. I have a need for power and control.

[Andrew Gubb]

I'm a strong guy, got a lot of talent in a lot of things, especially spirituality. Sometimes I feel like I'd need 50 lifetimes to explore all the different things I could do with myself. I sometimes feel "better" than other people, though, and I can get angry relatively easily. When I don't like someone I will tend to push them away from me. Humbleness, and non judgement, is something I want to work on.

I like raw food and sex, as often as I can get it. I also like travel, cooking (or shall I call it "food preparation" now), and anime.

[TheKernel]

Hmm, have you ever played "The world ends with you"? I was, and still being like the character Neku, but also I'm someone always looking for "whys": Why this works?, Why this is as it is? Why not doing it in a different way?. And I have lot of imagination too. When I found something that I dont like, I usualy have another way in mind of how could it be, or a little outline at least.

That must be some of the reasons why I am a computer programmer.

My interest and hobbies are: Technology, science, music, films, videogames, and anime.

[anusha]

I'm a very loving person, got so much love to give.Can't see a soul that's sad. I crack them up with my stupid sense of humor even if i have to insult myself. I like people happy around me.
I have mood swings, loads of them..I'm probably the least moody while PMSing.
I can get along with people, only if i find something interesting in them. I hate crowds and socializing unnecessarily. I like dividing my love equally to all, but superiority is given to my dear old dogs!

I don't get along with my parents, and i'm starting to dislike them only because they are always behind my back!
I'm a 'color' person, many colors make me happy. I like brown on trees, but otherwise brown irritates me. I love animals and would do anything in the world to save a life. I'm a vegetarian, and tried chicken in chungs once, and it tasted like rubber. That was the last time i ate chicken, and paneer too. I'm no vegan ( haven't chosen that path as yet), but i just don't eat milk and its products.

I love being pampered.. i love being loved, and i love loving. I'm attracted to 'psycho' inclined people, like those crazy geniuses!

[Old Garrick]

I am nobody. Sort of.

I mean, I have a body, a name and a consciousness but I prefer not to have an identity.

To me, identification is intellectualizing and therefore limiting. Perhaps you've heard the proverb, "If you meet the Buddha, kill him."

There are many interpretations of this but here's mine. Even if you were to meet the Buddha, you wouldn't. You would encounter your perceptions of him. Light would reflect off him and your eyes would give you a picture of him. Maybe he'd speak and your ears would translate the sounds he made into concepts in your mind. Maybe you'd shake hands and your nerves would send you kinesthetic sensations. In this sense, the Buddha himself (or your perception of him) would just be another illusion so you should not intellectualize and thus "kill" him.

Now that my disclaimer is done, congratulations on making it this far. My family members call me Michael, most everyone else calls me Mike. I go by my last name at times as my first is so common in America (Ireland too but I've never been there). I'm also known as "Sammy the Racist" but that's neither here nor there.

I'm often doing things. At times I sleep and a few times a day, I eat. I like water and drink it often. I'm learning Search Engine Optimization. I've learned other things but nothing to perfection. I've lived in several countries but only two for any real length of time. I love martial arts and have only yesterday decided to try a new tack with my practicing. I have always fought like a young man, trying to force things with superior speed and firepower. From this day forth, I want to fight like an old man, relying on skill and patience.

I'm frustrated at times. I don't understand why people get so much more attached to me than I do to them but suspect that I'm one of the few real friends most of my friends have and that makes me a little sad. People might get along better with me around than they seem to without me and I hope that's not true. I can't be everywhere.

I hate the word "love". I hate "hope" and "understanding". I hate "joy", "freedom", "zen", "trust" and "happiness". I'm a firm believer that, as the saying goes, the Dao that can be named is not the real Dao. Words like "love" and "trust" to me are hollow and lifeless echoes of the concepts they represent. Words I like are "hatred", "jealousy, "mistrust", "angst", "rage" and "deception". For base concepts like that, words do very nicely.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Old Garrick

I hate the word "love". I hate "hope" and "understanding". I hate "joy", "freedom", "zen", "trust" and "happiness". I'm a firm believer that, as the saying goes, the Dao that can be named is not the real Dao. Words like "love" and "trust" to me are hollow and lifeless echoes of the concepts they represent. Words I like are "hatred", "jealousy, "mistrust", "angst", "rage" and "deception". For base concepts like that, words do very nicely.

This makes my congruency meter move from blue to orange.

The Dao that can be named is not the real Dao...unless you name it in a negative light, then that is real.

[Old Garrick]

Hey James,

To clarify, I think that over-thinking something great can somewhat diminish it. We can say, "Love is like this, love is like that" but we'll never capture the essence with words. I don't like the word "love" because love is to me a very important thing.

If you say, "Hate is like this, hate is like that" I'm perfectly fine with it because I never much cared for hate in the first place. So I like the word "hate" because when you use it nothing is really lost. Sure, "hate" isn't hate but who gives a damn about hate anyway?

Am I making sense to you?

[James81]

Originally Posted by Old Garrick

Hey James,

To clarify, I think that over-thinking something great can somewhat diminish it. We can say, "Love is like this, love is like that" but we'll never capture the essence with words. I don't like the word "love" because love is to me a very important thing.

If you say, "Hate is like this, hate is like that" I'm perfectly fine with it because I never much cared for hate in the first place. So I like the word "hate" because when you use it nothing is really lost. Sure, "hate" isn't hate but who gives a damn about hate anyway?

Am I making sense to you?

Yeah, that makes a lot more sense. Thanks.

[Old Garrick]

Cheers. The world is confusing enough without me adding to it

[Whiplash]

So I am have an average paying job which I love, a wife two boys and a cat. I am in my early 30s.
We are not rich by any means but we get by and are generally a happy unit.

I grew up in a pretty abusive household (raised alone with my father). I left for foster homes at 11 and left foster homes to try life on my own at 16. I managed pretty well considering the start I got but I feel like I have so much untapped potential. My education does not match my intelligence. This is something I am addressing by going to University part-time.


The Good
I am a very humorous person who wants to have fun before anything else. That can be good and bad but I tend to view it as good. I want to be entertained...I want to laugh...I don't want to be surrounded with negativity.

I am a very loving and caring father.

The Bad
I tend to be a bit impatient with others. Also, for some reason I am slowly developing into a hypochondriac (did having kids make me afraid of dying?) which has been driving me crazy over the past few years. I tend to stress out about not having enough money....no matter how much I have.

I wish I could show more affection towards my wife.

The Ugly
I have a tendency to be quite self-centered. All about me and what I want. I hate that. I love being around people...but not as much as I love being around myself.

I wish I genuinely cared more about others.