Wisdom of the Ages - older folks and value

[rei]

Originally Posted by Illustro Cado

Yeah, it's kind of silly that everybody thinks they need to lock their doors and watch their kids a hundred percent of the time. There's a lot of people who aren't worth trusting in this world, that's always been true, but at least half the population won't even think of taking your kid or smashing your stuff. It's not even altruism; mutually assured destruction is reason enough to be a "good citizen."

And funny enough, personal independence hinges on the strength of a community. With people more spread out, more distrustful of each other, it's easier to believe the news, the government. It's easier to rely on some outside force for protection. It's disempowering for everybody and it's not a trend I can embrace, even if I was (and still am in many ways) infected.

Yep, and yep, and yet I'm still not comfortable renting in certain parts of an area that makes the top 20 for murder in the states. I've met folks who aren't quite as extreme as "every" or 100% of the time but I have seen the mentality. Unfortunately, part of where I'm coming from is some of these conversations with seniors have involved them talking about how they used to not lock their doors... and now their friend/relative had a robbery or they had one because of how the area changed, so in some cases it's not just the news.

I mean, I'm saying some of that mistrust is warranted depending on where you're at. The couple who inspired that part of my post stopped going to those dances because of direct experience of the change in culture to something more... tense. And trigger-happy.

That's probably what it boils down to, tension. Too many people trying to do too much, the multitasker culture, the culture of busyness, and the change in the value of a dollar coupled with the residue of Reaganomics (that last bit is a total guess ). Yeah you can set some of that aside by adjusting certain things but it's still quite different and more ... dissonant... based on pretty much every convo I've had with seniors on the topic.

[Cado]

Originally Posted by rei

Yep, and yep, and yet I'm still not comfortable renting in certain parts of an area that makes the top 20 for murder in the states.

Well that's just smart. Going against the status-quo these days doesn't necessarily mean throwing caution to the wind, it's just you get these people who are part of a community but not really part of it, if you catch my drift. It's generally smart to hold people at arm's length but when you do it with everybody there's a problem. I'm very self-sufficient emotionally but I'd have a rougher time if I didn't have confidantes, and while I'd never put my wellbeing squarely in someone else's hands by choice I'd never willingly be without somebody to watch my back either.

I've met folks who aren't quite as extreme as "every" or 100% of the time but I have seen the mentality. Unfortunately, part of where I'm coming from is some of these conversations with seniors have involved them talking about how they used to not lock their doors... and now their friend/relative had a robbery or they had one because of how the area changed, so in some cases it's not just the news.

No, but there's a definite correlation. The news blows things out of proportion. I don't blame them, sensationalism sells. However, people who plug into that not only get scared, some are sickened and turned into the very things they keep hearing about. If somebody is having a rough go of things in their own lives and they're constantly plugged into information that paints the world as a wholly loathesome place then it's gonna take a lot for them to keep from snapping. And I think that's the tension you're picking up on-more and more people are right on the verge and they sense it, and they sense it in each other, and instead of resolving the core issue they keep on like that. Maybe they don't know any better, maybe they don't want to, but there's a whole lot of junk in our collective basement and it's stinking up the joint.

That's probably what it boils down to, tension. Too many people trying to do too much, the multitasker culture, the culture of busyness, and the change in the value of a dollar coupled with the residue of Reaganomics (that last bit is a total guess ). Yeah you can set some of that aside by adjusting certain things but it's still quite different and more ... dissonant... based on pretty much every convo I've had with seniors on the topic.

But the light at the end of the tunnel is that on a small scale we can shape the place we live. I can pick trustworthy neighbors, or I can go into a rough neighborhood prepared to defend myself if it comes to it. I can distrust everybody in the community barring a small group I know is on the same wavelength as me. There are so many ways to adjust to the culture and procure a happy existence that there's never any need to take all those things too seriously. Yeah, there's some ****ed up stuff going on out there, but each and every single person has or can procure the means to do something about it.

I'm not gonna pine for a time long past but I think the world can be better. Personal responsibility and some time without distraction would go a long way toward it. Really, even with all the stuff we have today people wouldn't get sucked into it like they do if they weren't trying to avoid something. There will be a breaking point. The only question is whether it'll be sought and remedied or if it'll be a surprise.

[elucidate]

I remember thinking about the value of older people, and would feel for them, lost in this world they don't really understand of technology and everything so fast and bright and loud...if must freak them out. I see them walking around dressed as they did 50 years ago, realities blending, and got sad and scared seeing them sitting on their own on park benches, no one wanting to get dragged into a conversation with them, instead of wanting to hear their stories,mind you, some of them can go on a bit, and it isn't always interesting.

My experience in my 20's was much the same as Cado describes his...we were treated like we were the reason for all the problems in society. Menaces. I resented the way they managed to deny their own part to play in the fall of society with the industrial revolution and how it all panned out, and was amused by their ability to project onto me and everyone I knew, their own **** up! I also think that age is no barometer of wisdom, and I've met plenty of kids that are way wiser than a lot of the older generation. I don't like the way they push in line in places, because they are seniors and therefore 'should' go before us, or the way they act sometimes.
I have no problem giving someone my seat on public transport, or helping them on the bus or whatever, but I can't say I totally trust most of them, and why would I? They don't trust me...or at least, they didn't when I was 20 something.

I love it when I do find someone older who actually IS wise and has great stories to tell, and I will always give my full attention when I do. I have also come to believe that, though I once felt sad for all the abandoned people in homes, and vowed I wouldn't let my own parents come to that, now I see that some of them are abandoned by kids who just don't care, but there are also some that were abandoned because they abandoned or horribly mistreated their own kids, so, from the kids perspective, they don't want to see the parents again, and dump them. This now seems fair to me I know it's not the popular view, but I believe that respect is earned, not a given...and that includes older people.
If you are gonna mistreat your kids, to the extent that some abuse and unleash depravity upon their kids, then you should expect to be cast aside and never spoken to again.